Kids Motherhood

10 Things Parents Of Twins Should Know

  1. Stick them in the same crib or in separate rooms?

There are different schools of thoughts out there and odds are, that as a new parent, you are researching every single one of them and you have found merit in every single one of them. For multiples, some believe that you should stick them in the same crib and some believe that you should keep them in different parts of the house.

The truth?

Twins don’t want to be separated, but they do need to be separate. Imagine that you just spent 37 weeks locked in a tiny space with another little human and then suddenly, BOOM! Here you are in the wide-open world with your own air and your own little voice announcing that you have arrived. Chances are you are overwhelmed and you desperately need to cling onto anything and everything familiar those first few days. Do your little potatoes a favor and keep them near to their sibling, but also give them the chance to be, well, an individual and realize that they really can stand on their own two feet (give or take a few months). If one baby wakes up from his or her nap and starts wailing because they need you to know that they are awake now, guess what? They will not wake up the other one. By this point, the screeching of their sibling is equivalent to the soothing sounds of rain or the ocean breeze. So do yourself a favor and don’t stress out over that. Trust me, there will be no shortage of things to worry about.

  1. One on one schedule or the same schedule?

Back to our parent research teams. You’ll find that some parents swear by one-on-one scheduling so that you can feed and cuddle with one baby while the other one is asleep and then switch. Some other parents believe in one schedule for any and all infants involved. Does that mean waking up a sleeping baby if their brother or sister is hungry? Yes, yes it does. And no, that is not a moral sin.

The truth?

Honestly, you need to sleep, eat, shower, stare at the TV in a baby induced coma. You will NOT lose quality one-on-one time with your children if you’re with both at once. Not to mention that as they get older and start exploring their surroundings and each other, nothing is better than watching your son or daughter playing with their built-in best friend.

  1. Disposable diapers or cloth diapers?

Let’s be honest, everyone wants to jump on that all natural, organic everything train. Sometimes, it just isn’t practical. It is considerably more expensive, so you better be absolutely sure that the value greatly exceeds the name brand stuff.

The truth?

Both, either, all of the above. Seriously though…do yourself a favor and get cloth diapers even if you don’t intend on using them. I hate to break this to you, but you are either looking at spending a fortune on diapers or a fortune on laundry detergent. There will come a time when you’re changing baby number two and you realize that you are out of diapers! Slap on a cloth one and call it a day…or at least buy yourself an hour or two.

  1. Do I need two of every outfit and toy?

Send this one out to all of your family, ASAP because we are all in this together. People WILL buy you two matching outfits, almost every single time. Two of the same blankets and sheets. Two of the same little sneakers that they will never wear. Two of every toy so one child doesn’t get upset that he doesn’t have a mini maraca to play with for this one moment that the mini maraca is oh-so-much fun.

The truth?

No, no, no, absolutely not. Listen, you already have two extra miniature people running around. Time for you to watch a documentary on Minimalism. If they both like the same toy? Good for them, this is a fantastic opportunity to figure out problem solving, sharing, and defining their own interests. Don’t take that chance away from them!

  1. Breastfeed or Formula?

The truth?

This one is HUGE. There are many people out there today who would mom-shame you if they found out you used formula. Honestly? You need to back the hell up. To all the moms of multiples who were successfully able to breastfeed, I give you major props. For the rest of us, however, who just couldn’t get the hang of football holding two infants, formula is FINE. Your child will not be any less smart/ tall/ likely to be the one to cure cancer than a breastfed baby. Don’t get me wrong, do what you can! But sometimes, you just CAN’T. And that’s okay too!

  1. People ask: “How do you do it? I just couldn’t.”

As a parent of multiples, you better be prepared for cliché city. “Wow! Are those twins? I bet you have your hands full!” As a matter of fact, I do because I’m pushing a stroller that is equivalent to a small SUV while holding 10 bags of groceries that will probably last four days. Can we chat some other time?

The truth?

We do it because we must. We don’t have any sort of super powers or magic spells that help us along the way, but we do have two people counting on us to get our ass out of bed and make some scrambled eggs already! We do it because we must. And you know what? If you had exported two children at once, you would be doing it just fine too.

As a side note, I have found that the phrase “You have no idea” is perfectly applicable in almost every situation. Double Trouble! You have no idea. You must be busy! You have no idea. Are those twins? You have no idea?

  1. Side by side stroller or Extra-long stroller?

Calling out to all my fellow bloggers who spend hours upon hours reviewing these products for us! Do yourself a favor, and read the reviews. Go to the store and push some strollers around. While your at it, buy two extra-large watermelons to put in the seats so you can be sure to get an accurate perception of what your life will be like.

The truth?

I vote extra-long stroller all the way. I imagine some people prefer side by side, but here’s the thing: No matter what, you basically need a commercial driver’s license to maneuver one of these things around the store. I just like that I have the option to have them face each other, it does come in handy for a source of free entertainment!

  1. Will I ever feel well-rested again?

Is this a trick question? This is pretty much a blanket statement for all parents across the board whether you have one or ten babies (however, if you do have ten babies at once, I seriously think you should reevaluate your life). 

The truth?

Probably not. If you’re like the majority of parents, then you’re working full time, taking care of your little people and probably trying to maintain some semblance of a romantic relationship with your partner. Even when you sleep, you’ll be dreaming of everything you need to do. So, yes, you will sleep again at some point, but no, it won’t matter. Coffee anyone?

  1. TV or no?

I will never forget the day that a fellow mom of twins came up to me at our gym and stealthily whispered in my ear the question, “Do you let your kids watch TV?” At that point, I wasn’t even totally aware of what a taboo it is, but apparently here we are!

The truth?

Look, when you become a parent, you don’t suddenly drop every other responsibility in your life. You add one and you re-prioritize. That being said, TV can give you that extra 30 minutes you need to wash those dishes that are piling up or fold the clothes you took out of the dryer sometime last week. Some parents truly believe that the television was created by Satan and to those parents I ask, is there some nefarious message I am missing from Little Einsteins?

  1. Aren’t twins a blessing?

No matter how you conceived your twins, whether naturally or through some sort of insanely expensive medical process, they are a miracle.

The truth?

Any child is a blessing, but honestly? Twins just spice up your life a little bit more. Nothing in this world will ever compare to their little laughter when his or her brother or sister says something that is just simply hysterical that no one else on this earth understands but them.

To all my parents of multiples, just remember that when you are running across the parking lot of the store to grab one of the three available carts that has two seats, remember that your little ones are blessings. Remember that you have been blessed when you’re carrying one baby and chasing the other across park. #blessed

About the author

Zabrina Vogelsang

Zabrina Vogelsang is a Work-from-Home mom who splits her time hanging out with her (best friends) beautiful twin boys and working for a software program as a Technical Writer. She is also working on starting her own event planning business (check out more here: eventseverafterllc.com). She spends her “downtime” binge watching shows on Netflix with her wonderful partner in crime and hiding out in the local library. She has a wide variety of interests which she loves writing and talking about with anyone who will listen!

  • I have some friends who have twins and they would agree with you. They prefer when people just give gifts without having two of everything because it helps their kids learn how to share and problem solve x

    • Exactly! Even with any kids that are close in age or have the same interests…some times you have to just let them figure it out themselves.

  • Lilia Dee

    I love this post. I’m convinced I’m gonna have twin boys next so this is great x

    • I wish you the best of luck! Definitely the best thing that ever happened to me <3 stay tuned for more twin adventures

  • Claire Lee

    I find this post pretty interesting. I am not a mother nor a kid grew up as a kid, but I like the way you structured these tips. And I agree that they should learn being independent and learning to share with one another even if they are twins. http://www.clairebearblogs.com

  • Such interesting views on making sure twins are kept close but given their own individual space x

    • Such an important topic because most grown up twins now feel that they weren’t ever given that chance to feel truly like an individual until later in life.

  • Melanie Edjourian

    Ha, what an interesting post. I wanted to have twins before having my first. When my first child finally came I was thankful I only had one. I now have 3 but they came one at a time.

  • Aareeba Mohammed

    Haha loved reading this post, I always wanted Twins during my first pregnancy, but now I think one is too much lol

    • Hahah! Trust me, if you do have twins, you’ll realize a new strength you never knew you had lol

  • This is a very helpful articles for future moms who will have twins and need to prepare for their arrival in this world. I don’t have children but I have learned a few things by reading your article.

  • Dhiraj Kapur

    Usually I never comment on blogs but your article is so convincing that I never stop myself to say something about it. You’re doing a great job ,Keep it up.

  • A woman after my own heart when it comes to philosophies on parenting. Make sure you’re also factoring your sanity in when every decision you make. Sleep will always be elusive, it goes with the territory. And there are things in life we do simply because we must. Great post!

    • Thanks, Ali! I’ve come to find that the boys love mommy when she is a little bit crazy lol! So I use it to my advantage to get a laugh….once that happens then nothing in the world can bring me down 🙂

  • Sabrina Barbante

    very wise tips for a quite complicated issue! I don’t appreciate much when I see twins dressed in the same way, but I think it’s better to dress them differently and gradually made them individually choose their preferences. Individuality must be hard when you are born and grown up with someone else (that looks so much like you!)

    • Exactly! Even though my boys are only 17 months now, I let them choose what clothes they want to wear…they can sometimes come up with some crazy combinations! But even so, I can tell that they each already have a preference to certain colors, etc. I will admit, though, that for certain occasions I do dress them alike >.< lol!

  • Kristine Nicole Alessandra VA

    My officemate gave birth to twin girls. I could not imagine how she was able to carry those twins to full term when she herself was so petite. Anyway, thanks for the article. I know this will help her in one way or two.

    • The body is definitely a miraculous thing. I look back on photos and honestly, if it hadn’t happened to me, I would have a hard time believing that it was possible! Hopefully she enjoys the read 🙂

  • Oh my gosh, this is a great post. Especially as twins run in my family and I can totally see your philiosphy of the twins.

    • Thanks, London! I bet you have totally experienced some of these!

  • Chiimmiii’s Happy World

    having twins is really complicated and these tips are really helpful , will definitely share this with needy i know 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  • Yeu Doi

    Great post. Shall share this post with my friends who have or about to have twins. Very helpful information indeed.

    • Thank you! I’m sure they will have experienced some–if not all–of these!

  • AMIT AGRAWAL

    Very interesting and informative post. I will circulate this between my friends who are having twins.

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  • I have to say you hit the nail on the head. These can apply to even one child, like the formula or tv dilemma.
    I will for sure share with people I know who are having twins soon.

    • Exactly! I truly believe this one can go out to all momma’s 🙂

  • Excellent information. I love the way your wrote it- the question and the truth. Very neat and informative. I always wonder why twin parents dress them same always. I would personally dress them contrast 🙂

  • That’s so amazing post <3 Such an important topic! Informative and so great tips! Have a nice week!

  • Tonya Wilhelm

    Really great advice. I never would have thought about this, but it sure was fascinating.

    • I think twins are just cool to people that it always has this “hype” about it lol

  • bc21578

    “The Truth” is a song by KRS-One. The library sounds like a good place to escape from the madness!

  • Amanda Love

    My friend’s a mother of twins and it could get crazy. Although you want to raise them like how you’d normally raise a single baby, it’s going to be difficult because there will always be two of them with needs.

  • Marceline Dementori

    I have twins and it’s not easy! I would have loved to use the cloth diapers but there are two of them and the easiest way would be the disposable ones. We did separate them too, they always wake each other up and they don’t get enough sleep.

  • Chei Pangan

    The TRUTH? You are an amazing mom. If i was you, i don’t know what to do. Glad i have read this so Thank you for your advice. 🙂

  • EG Green

    It’s interesting to hear your opinion on which stroller works best. I used to actually sell strollers and in my experience the side by side ones were always the better sellers.

    • That’s what I see more of! I’ve had a much more positive experience with my stroller…but to each his own I suppose!

  • Ana Ojha

    The post makes an interesting read! I’m sure this post will be an eye-opener for parents having twins!

  • Laura Dove

    I haven’t got twins but I did have three children two and under so it often felt as though I did – or even triplets! I take my hat off to anyone with twins, great advice!

    • You probably relate a lot to these, I’m sure! You have my admiration 🙂

  • Melanie Edjourian

    I think having them in the same or separate rooms is one of those topics that some might argue as thoughts on this may differ. I’d probably keep mine together.

    • Oh for sure! There is so much literature out there, it’s hard to not feel overwhelmed. At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for your family.

  • lexhan

    my aunt has twins and i have a few friends who do, so definitely a post to share for them to get alot of resourceful information to guide and follow their kids.

  • I LOVE this post!! I’m going to share it on my facebook page later this week 🙂