2. Sit In the Back of Church – Equally important as number one, you should sit near the back of Church. This not only teaches your children that the Mass is not all about them, but should one of them throw a missal two pews in front of you, or scream at the top of their lungs, “I DON’T WANT TO SEE JESUS”, you can quickly step out until your child composes himself. But, whatever you do, don’t sit in the cry room because that’s where all of the really judgmental childless people sit.
3. Bring A Supply Bag – It’s a good idea to bring a bag of carefully chosen items with which your child can entertain herself during church. This ensures that you, your husband, and those around you all get to actively participate and that your child is quiet. Be sure to only consider books, soft toys, and other items that are specifically religiously themed, lest your child become confused about what the Mass is really about. It’s a bad idea to bring the book “Everyone Poops”.