Becoming a mom has been one of the most eye-opening experiences I have ever encountered. Emotions are on overdrive. Feelings are at an all-time high. And not just the overwhelming love you feel for your new babe. All the feelings.
At the same time, energy levels are at an all-time low. Mix that with sleep deprivation, and it’s the perfect disaster.
All that to say: I want to apologize to all of my mama friends, old and new, near and far, that I didn’t practice proper newborn etiquette with. Now I know. And so can you!
- Drop off a meal. And leave. Don’t ring the doorbell. FOR THE LOVE – NEVER RING THE DOORBELL. Or expect her to answer it. There is likely nudity and bodily fluids present.
- If previously approved for a visit, come over and do a load of laundry. Don’t expect conversation.
- If requested by new mom, hold baby so she can take a 5 minute shower without hearing phantom crying.
- If you are already there, wash a bottle. Or 50.
- Unload the dishwasher.
- If you really desire to visit and hold the baby, most new moms get that. Her little bundle is perfect and squishy. So…please do. However, don’t stay longer than 30 minutes. This is an eternity in new mom time. It’s a nap for baby. It’s the 30 minutes she could have closed her eyes without someone lurking in her home. It’s 30 minutes she could have stared at the wall in silence. It’s the exact amount of time needed to pump without being exposed or having to hide out in her own home.
- Ask her what she needs to get through that day. If you don’t get a response, assume the answer is nothing. But it will most likely be #1. Or #8.
- Find out her coffee order. See #1 for etiquette.
- Don’t show up 30 minutes early or late from the time you said you were coming. See #6.
- Some moms want a break from baby. And some moms want a break from everything BUT baby. Don’t assume that what you would find helpful will be helpful to mom.
- For the love of all things, don’t expect a new mom to entertain you. Coming over for hours on end is a nightmare. There are exceptions. But they are few.
Being a new mama is hard. Any new mom will vouch for that. Use this list to help the new mama in your life! And if you aren’t sure if it applies, see #7.
*None of these rules apply to best friends and your own mama/sisters. Because they have seen you at your worst. And naked. So it doesn’t matter.