Throughout the day, I’ve been catching myself saying this to our 18-month-old daughter quite often. With every affirmation using the words cute, pretty, or beautiful that rolls off my tongue, a little pang in my heart tells me something isn’t right. My heart tells me to choose phrases that speak more power and more purpose into her self-worth. 

Don’t get it twisted. I’m not banning these words from my vocabulary or judging their use by any means. We can give our girls compliments and positive affirmations pertaining to looks; however, the focus on appearance should not stand at the forefront.

From experience, I admit to the difficulty of choosing the best vocabulary. Sometimes the same words just slip out without a second thought.

My husband and I chose to be more purposeful when speaking to our daughter.

We compiled a list of helpful phrases to begin affirming our girl at a young age, throughout growth, and into womanhood. All powerful affirmations that will trigger positive thoughts.

We put the list on our fridge to remind us daily. Some days we use a handful of affirmations and some days we use all 20. Instead of saying “You’re cute” or “You’re so beautiful,” we practice using empowering phrases that will hopefully teach her to look beyond her physical appearance, toward her intelligence, capabilities, and heart to build her self-confidence.

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These qualities will make a difference in the end, not a new haircut, the latest makeup trend, clothing style, or symmetry of facial features. Creating a habit of continual emotional support or encouragement not only strengthens their emotions during childhood, but it also strengthens their emotions as teenage girls and when they turn into adults. It creates an environment of positive thinking for our girls to grow in their self-esteem.

I urge you, if you’re not already, to give these affirmations to your girls as well:

1. You have the power to change the world.
2. You are unlike any other.
3. You have a beautiful soul.
4. You’re so smart.
5. Be yourself no matter what.
6. You have the power to help others.
7. You are going to move mountains.
8. You are strong.
9. You have a loving heart.
10. You mean the world to us. 
11. We’re thankful God gave you to us.
12. You have the best sense of humor.
13. You have a great laugh.
14. You are very loved.
15. You give fantastic hugs.
16. We are proud of you.
17. You did a great job!
18. You are deserving of kindness.
19. God loves you.
20. You have an amazing imagination.

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Don’t reserve these words of kindness for just your loved ones. You can give them to the kids at school, in your playgroup, at church, or at the park.

The more we give, the better future for our girls and for our world.