Journal Relationships

36 Questions To Ask Your Spouse Each Night Instead Of Asking “How Was Work” or “What Do The Kids Need Today”

35 Questions To Ask Your Spouse Each Night Instead Of Asking "How Was Work" or "What Do The Kids Need Today" www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Leslie Means

Guys, it started with this post. The 4 questions to ask your kids each night.

And then our writers came up with a list of 50 questions to ask your kids each night.

And then they came up with 70 faith-filled questions for kids, too.

These have been some of my very favorite conversation starters for our kids. But at night, even though we’ve been so good about talking to our kids, the hubs and I aren’t able to chat much.

Especially with a new baby.

So – I asked our writers to once again share their wisdom. Questions they ask their spouse each night or each week to encourage conversation. These are questions you can ask at the dinner table with the kids and some you can save for just each other’s ears. We hope you love them and that they spark more than just conversation in your home!

1. When did you feel most….excited….embarrassed…despairing today?” (Or any other emotions.) It really brings out stories that we otherwise forget to share.
2. Is there anything I can help you with this week?
3. What’s one thing you did well today?
4. What’s one thing you could have done better?
5. Before bed we do a “Today I love you because…” and “Today my compliment for you is….” You can also do highs and lows from the day.
6. Is there anything I can help you do around the house so we can have some time together after the baby is asleep?
7. Is there anything stressing you out at work or home?
8. Is there anything you need that you’re not getting?
9. What are you looking forward to this week?
10. What did you do today that you are proud of?
11. Is your cup full?
12. Is there one thing we do really well in our relationship and one thing we need to pay more attention to?
13. Every now and then I’ll ask how I can make him feel more respected (Biblical) or appreciated as a husband; we are also both teachers so asking if I can help him grade or plan a lesson with him is always fun!
14. What’s on your bucket list? Or make one together.
15. Because we are a military family with lots of unknown changes, we often ask each other where we hope to be in 5 years.
16. What are you excited about at work?
17. Who did you talk to that you encouraged this week?
18. Everyday I’ll share with him an article, video, or something that I found interesting so we can talk about it.
19. How do you feel about our evenings? Is there a balance of play and rest and activity?
20. What’s the weirdest thing you Googled today?
21. My husband is a bit of a nerd (self professed  ) and I know if our conversations are getting dull, I can ask him what’s going on in the Marvel Universe these days and he’s all passion. Same thing with Star Wars or Dr.Who or whatever. I know that doesn’t translate for all couples, but I think it’s about knowing your husband’s passions and asking questions that show you’re interested in what interests him (and vice versa). This is also why I occasionally listen to sports talk radio although I don’t care anything about sports. It helps to be informed about the stuff he’s going to want to talk about.
22. What made you laugh today?
23. What made you happiest today?
24.  What are 10 things I do that makes you feel loved? (We each wrote down 10 then exchanged them.) I think we’re going to turn it into an end-of-the week thing and I’ll ask for the top two things this week that made him feel loved.
25. What challenges did you face today?
26. We (weirdly) usually ask each other what we had for lunch. It’s a little thing but it helps me feel connected to his day and leads to where we ate, with who etc. and a whole lot of other things spring from this one question.
27. What is your current passion?
28. I try to be sure to ask something specific that I know he is thinking about and might need encouragement about. If he comes in wearing his headphones I know he is loving some music and “What are you listening to” is the question to ask even though I will not know a single band he is talking about. He still likes to tell me.
29. What can I do to make you feel loved? Or… When do you feel loved the most? That way we keep the focus on the positive, but we are always looking for feedback and ways to improve our relationship!
30.  I think it’s important to start with gratitude. Make an effort to stand or sit next to each other, look one another in the eye and say thank you.
31. How crazy was your day today?
32. How many “fires” did you have to put out today?
33. Every single night when he gets home I ask him if I can pour him a cold beer. . .his answer is usually a good judge of how the day went!
34. How can I best support you this week?
35. When there’s something stressful or challenging… I ask “Did you pray about that?”
36. What time can you arrange for cuddles and snuggles?

About the author

Leslie Means

Leslie is the co-founder and owner of Her View From Home.com. She is also a former news anchor, published children’s book author, weekly columnist, and has several published short stories as well.

She is married to a very patient man. Together they have two pretty fantastic little girls ages 8 and 6 and one little dude born March 2017!

When she’s not sharing too much personal information online and in the newspaper – you’ll find Leslie somewhere in Nebraska hanging out with family and friends. There’s also a 75% chance at any given time, you’ll spot her in the aisles at Target.

  • Carol

    I really love the content of your blog and the questions you listed, however the amount of ads in the body of your message is very distracting along with the ads to the side and bottom blinking or changing. I can usually distract myself from some as most blogs have them but I find your page overwhelming and it makes me not want to visit again which is a real shame because I do like what you have to say. Would you consider removing or changing how many ads show up on your blog? May you would have to change blog providers but honestly I’ve never seen so many distractions. I wish you well and will try to visit again.
    Regards, Carol