45 years and counting; tips to make a marriage last
19 Sep, 2012
*Note. My parents ~ Keith and Linda Waechter, recently celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary. I asked my mom to please share some of her tips with us. Reading this puts a smile on my face. Thanks, Mom! ~Leslie
To Our Daughters – 45 years and counting
How do I explain the commitment your father and I feel to each other and this marriage?
First and foremost we love each other more with each passing day. The love I feel today is so much greater than the mesmerizing love of our wedding day. I still get a butterfly in my stomach when I hear the click of his boots when he walks up the sidewalk of our home or through the door of my workplace. Granted the cadence of the step has changed due to the aging process but it still fills my heart. Even though my hair has lost its color and my body has lost the shape and gait of my youth; I have no doubt that your father loves me as I love him.
How do we maintain this love? I’m not sure. We are best friends. A road trip together helps with the conversation and helps you to concentrate on each other. The first person I want to share an event with is your father. I also believe it is very important to pursue the friendship of at least one other couple with whom you can talk things over. Sometimes the words of a worry or hurt feelings just have to be verbalized to be understood. If you are so fortunate as to have more than one couple as intimate friends then you are doubly blessed. (Don’t forget to have a friend, you must be a friend.) I believe this applies to your mate as well as a good friend.
We have in the past and continue today to “roll with the punches.” There have been arguments with heated disagreements. (We no longer bring up the subject of my indoor cat AND a dog .) We have compromised our own personal wishes to more closely fit with the other. A marriage is not a 50/50 deal. Sometimes it is 90/10 in your favor and then again it will turn to 90/10 in your husbands’ favor. We respect each other’s wishes. We do not always agree; but, we work for a compromise.
Finding time for an intimate physical relationship (okay, don’t choke on the word – intimate), whether it be holding hands or dinner out or “other activities” has been a goal worked toward.
For us, God’s Blessings of a family has further cemented our commitment to each other. And as I began this letter, I end with the single word of commitment. We were young, very young at 18 and 19 years when we said “I do” so we did not have the wisdom of years. We were not very rich and would get “less rich” before things turned around so money was not the answer. We were a young Christian couple with no money, the Selective Service breathing down your dad’s neck and a heartful of love. The commitment we made before God on that late afternoon September 3, 1967 is something we have worked at to accomplish. With God as the head of our marriage this union has succeeded.
I’m not sure this fully explains 45 years of marriage in one page. Yes, I would do it over in a heartbeat. Yes, I hope God allows us some “golden” years together and Yes, we do love each other!