At 4 years old, she has her father’s adventurous spirit, courage, and sense of independence. She started diving under water at 2 and knows all of the Star Wars characters. She once ate an entire raw onion slice off of my hamburger and told us it was “yummy.” She will tackle any roller coaster without hesitation and refuses to let me kiss her boo-boos. But for all the parts of her that she inherited from Daddy, she is just like Mommy too. She has no less than 5 “babies” emerge from her tummy per day. They are often dragons or frogs or turtles or cats. She names them, feeds them, puts them to bed, and cares for them when they are sick. Like I was at 4, she is a little mommy.

And 20-something years from now, when she is ready to truly fulfill her role as a mother, other mothers will probably tell her many things. They may warn her of how painful labor will be. They may tell her that she will never sleep again and that she’ll bid farewell to her pre-baby body and free time. They may tell her that her marriage will change forever and that she will not enjoy sushi happy hour for years to come.

But sweet girl of mine, there are so many things that I hope nobody tells you about motherhood.

I hope nobody tells you that you will feel like a failure, because, you will. You might feel it more than you feel success.

I pray nobody tells you that nursing might be damn-near impossible and is almost as painful as delivery.

I hope nobody warns you that you’ll shut herself in your bedroom and lock the doors so you can silently sob into a pillow after your 4-year-old pees her pants for the 95th time.

I pray nobody warns you of the days that your spouse calls at 4:00 in the afternoon and hears the crack in your voice as you struggle to hold in tears. And screams. And swears.

I hope nobody scares you and tells you how isolating it will be. I hope nobody forewarns you that you will take your baby to the park and search with exhausted eyes for another mom in the hopes of bridging a friendship.

I pray nobody says that at bedtime, when the kids ask to be snuggled, you will make up an excuse of why Mommy can’t, because Mommy has nothing left to give.

I hope nobody tells you that you will, on more than one occasion, sit “criss-crossed applesauce” on the floor with your 5-year old and confess that “Mommy messed up and Mommy was sorry” for yelling at him when he did nothing wrong.

I hope nobody tells you that you will make a habit of loading up all 3 kids in the car and then steal back into the house for 5 extra minutes by yourself, because that’s how desperate you will be for space.

I pray nobody warns you that while you will relish your time alone, you will also suffer crippling loneliness in the same day.

I pray nobody tells you how terrified you will be to mess this job up and how equally terrifying (and humbling) it will be to ask for help. But I hope you do find the courage to ask.

I hope you enter motherhood naive and optimistic and confident. Because if someone tells you how gut-wrenchingly hard this job is, you may miss the pride you’ll feel watching your confident 5-year-old walk into kindergarten without looking back. If you are warned that your failure at potty-training will break you into a shell of a mother at times, you may miss tea parties and marathon puzzle races with your only daughter. And if you are warned how challenging every hour of every day is going to be with a toddler who breaks everything, steals everything, and eats everything in his path, you might possibly miss his dimples, him learning new phrases like “How ’bout… dis one?” and him asking for “hug, Mama, hug.”

My prayer for you, my beautiful 4-year-old innocent little girl, is that nobody tells you how painful motherhood is before you embark upon the journey yourself. For that would be the greatest gift you could receive.

This post was originally published on The 21st Century SAHM

 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Karen Johnson

Karen Johnson is a freelance writer who is known on social media as The 21st Century SAHM. She is an assistant editor at Sammiches and Psych Meds, staff writer and social media manager for Scary Mommy, and is the author of I Brushed My Hair Today, A Mom Journal for Mostly Together Moms. Follow Karen on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/21stcenturysahm/, Twitter https://twitter.com/21stcenturysahm , and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the21stcenturysahm/

Our Kids Need Us as Much as We Need Them

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sitting on bench with dog nearby, color photo

During a moment of sadness last week, my lively and joyful toddler voluntarily sat with me on the couch, holding hands and snuggling for a good hour. This brought comfort and happiness to the situation. At that moment, I realized sometimes our kids need us, sometimes we need them, and sometimes we need each other at the same time. Kids need us. From the moment they enter the world, infants express their needs through tiny (or loud) cries. Toddlers need lots of cuddling as their brains try to comprehend black, white, and all the colors of the expanding world around...

Keep Reading

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More You

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young girl smiling together at home

He reached for my hand and then looked up. His sweet smile and lingering gaze flooded my weary heart with much-needed peace. “Thank you for taking me to the library, Mommy! It’s like we’re on a date! I like it when it’s just the two of us.” We entered the library, hand in hand, and headed toward the LEGO table. As I began gathering books nearby, I was surprised to feel my son’s arms around me. He gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss with an “I love you, Mommy” before returning to his LEGO—three separate times. My typically...

Keep Reading

This Time In the Passenger Seat is Precious

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver with parent in passenger seat

When you’re parenting preteens and teens, it sometimes feels like you are an unpaid Uber driver. It can be a thankless job. During busy seasons, I spend 80 percent of my evenings driving, parking, dropping off, picking up, sitting in traffic, running errands, waiting in drive-thru lines. I say things like buckle your seat belt, turn that music down a little bit, take your trash inside, stop yelling—we are in the car, keep your hands to yourself, don’t make me turn this car around, get your feet off the back of the seat, this car is not a trash can,...

Keep Reading

So God Made My Daughter a Wrestler

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young female wrestler wearing mouth guard and wrestling singlet

God made my girl a wrestler. Gosh, those are words I would never have thought I would say or be so insanely proud to share with you. But I am. I know with 100 percent certainty and overwhelming pride that God made my girl a wrestler. But it’s been a journey. Probably one that started in the spring of 2010 when I was pregnant with my first baby and having the 20-week anatomy ultrasound. I remember hearing the word “girl” and squealing. I was over the moon excited—all I could think about were hair bows and cute outfits. And so...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

You May Be a Big Brother, but You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother with young son, color photo

It seems like yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. Back then, we were new parents, clueless but full of love—a love that words can hardly explain. I can vividly recall holding you in my arms, rocking you in the cutest nursery, and singing sweet lullabies, just like yesterday. I can picture those times when you were teeny-tiny, doing tummy time, and how proud I was of you for lifting your head. And oh, the happiness on your face when “Baby Shark” played over and over—that song always made you smile! We made sure to capture your growth...

Keep Reading

“It Looks and Tastes Like Candy.” Mom Shares Warning about THC Gummies All Parents Need to Hear

In: Kids, Living, Teen
Hand holding bottle of THC gummies

What Aimee Larsen first thought was a stomach bug turned out to be something much more terrifying for her young son. Her 9-year-old woke up one day last week seeming “lethargic, barely able to stand or speak,” his mom shared in a Facebook post. At first, she assumed he had a virus, but something about his behavior just didn’t seem right. She called an ambulance and asked her older sons if their brother might have gotten into something, like cough syrup or another over-the-counter medicine. Their answer? “Yeah, THC gummies.” THC gummies are an edible form of cannabis that contain...

Keep Reading

My Child with Special Needs Made His Own Way in His Own Time

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding child's hand walking across street

I want to tell you the story of a little boy who came to live with me when he was three years old. Some of you may find this story familiar in your own life. Your little boy or girl may have grown inside you and shares your DNA or maybe they came into your life much older than three. This little boy, this special child, my precious gift has special needs. Just five short years ago, he was a bit mean and angry, he said few understandable words, and there was a lot about this world he didn’t understand. Unless...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter as You Grow into Yourself

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Girl in hat and dress-up clothes, color photo

My daughter, I watched you stand in front of the mirror, turning your body left and right. Your skirt was too big and your top on backward. Your bright blue eyeshadow reached your eyebrows and bold red blush went up to your ears. You didn’t care. I watched you marvel at your body, feeling completely at ease in your skin. You turned and admired yourself with pride. You don’t see imperfections. You don’t see things you are lacking. You see goodness. You see strength. RELATED: Daughter, When You Look in the Mirror, This is What I Hope You See I’m...

Keep Reading

Organized Sports Aren’t Everything

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young girl with Alpaca, color photo

Today I watched my little girl walk an alpaca. His name is Captain. Captain is her favorite. He’s my favorite too. I met his owner on Instagram of all places. She thought I was in college; I thought she was a middle-aged woman. Turns out, she is in high school, and I am a middle-aged woman. This random meeting led to a blessing. We call it “llama lessons.” We take llama lessons every other week. It’s an hour away on the cutest hobby farm. Our “teacher” is Flora, who boards her llamas at the alpaca farm. She wants to teach...

Keep Reading