Adoption Journal

Adoption: Choosing This Path Again

Written by Alissa Kay

Written by Alissa Kay

Before we got married, we talked about kids. We wanted 2-4. Or somewhere in the middle! We were ecstatic to be parents to Matthew. He really was a good baby and the transition to “mom & dad” went fairly smoothly; despite only having a 2-day notice!   By the time he was a year old, I was starting to get the baby itch again. I think my husband wanted to wait until Matthew was closer to two years old
before we realistically thought about adding to our family… we ended up compromising and started the adoption process for baby #2 when Matt was 18 months.

This time was different. We had been through it before. We knew what to expect; expect the unexpected! The biggest difference was that we were already parents. Waiting for another baby is definitely easier (although, still not *easy*) than waiting to become parents. We had Matthew to love on… and our dreams had already come true. We were mommy & daddy.

So, while it was a different experience, we still had so many unknowns. Would our wait be longer?

Would we be blessed with another son or a daughter?

Would we ever adopt again?

Would it be another open adoption?

Would we have more time to prepare?

What will Matthew think?

How can we possibly love another child as much as we love our son?

We were officially approved about two months before Matthew’s second birthday. And shockingly, we were already being considered by a mom. We met with her several times. And while we were emotionally invested, we were able to go in with a clear mind and look at the big picture. When she delivered her son and decided to parent him, we were so happy for her and her boy. She was already mom and a good mom. She made the right choice. We were still a little broken-hearted because we had so many dreams and thought maybe he would have completed our family. But ultimately, we didn’t see this as our loss but as a gain for this precious baby. He was able to stay with his mom who loved him and did have the resources to parent him successfully. Over the next 6 months, we got a few calls but none of them led to a baby for us.

We kept on waiting and kept the faith that God had a plan…

(Feature Photo Source)

About the author

Alissa Kay

Alissa was born and raised in the Midwest and currently calls Iowa home. She’s living out her dreams as a stay home mom & wife. Alissa has a 7-year-old son and 2 daughters ( 4 and 2!), all through adoption. For fun, she enjoys taking pictures of her kids. Too bad they don’t find it as amusing!