Kids Motherhood

Am I a Good Mum or a Bad Mum?

Am I a good mum or a bad mum? Every mother has asked herself this question at some stage... here's my take on what makes a good mum.
Written by Krystal Kleidon

Every single mother has asked herself this question. Am I a good mum or a bad mum? Was that the right decision? Should I be doing this? Will my child resent me for this? I can almost say for certain that most mothers ask themselves these questions on a daily basis. I know I do.

But why do we feel like we are a ‘bad’ mum and where does the measurement of ‘bad’ come from? We watch what other mothers do, we analyse their behaviours and worst of all – we see on social media and TV what is expected of a good mum.

As mothers we are constantly comparing ourselves and our children to others. We see another mother with her hair done up, her make up is perfect and she is walking out of the house looking like a million bucks. We think that she must have it all together; she must be a ‘good’ mum. We see other children behaving while grocery shopping while our children are screaming blue murder at each other. We see other two year olds being able to count to 10 and read sight words and start to question whether we are teaching our children enough.

STOP!

Do you love your children? You’re a good mum.

It’s as simple as that.

There’s no manual on how to be a good mum, there’s no guidelines, no infographic and no checklist. We do what we think is best for our children at any given moment and that makes us a good mum. 

We spend too much time looking at the images and stories of ‘perfect’ parents on social media. We forget that this is just a snippet (a heavily edited and selective snippet) of their lives. We don’t see what is going on behind the pictures or behind the status updates.

We compare ourselves to other mothers. We take advice from parenting books with a one size fits all solution. We think that if we are doing something different then we are doing something wrong. We think if our children aren’t sleeping through the night or hitting milestones then it’s because we have failed as a parent.

We forget so quickly all of the incredible things we do.

So mumma, slow down, take a breath and look at your children. Look into their eyes as they say ‘I love you mum’. Feel their little arms wrap around your neck as they ask for a cuddle. Listen to their deep breaths as they sleep soundly in their beds at night.

You’re a good mum. You’re a great mum. You’re an amazing mum.

About the author

Krystal Kleidon

My name is Krystal and I am a first time mum. I’m a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend (sometimes neglectful) and a paramedic. I live in a small country town in Queensland Australia and am the first Australian contributor to Her View From Home – something I am very proud and excited about. I love my Australian culture and lifestyle and you’ll have to promise to cut me a little slack when you see me writing things like ‘mum’ instead of ‘mom’.

I’m the creator and editor at Project Hot Mess, a site dedicated to empowering women and encouraging them to embrace who they are in their own perfect way. Even if that means running late with a cold cup of coffee in hand and not brushing your hair for 3 days (that’s what dry shampoo is for right..?).