Dear Jack,
It’s hard to believe that just a few short weeks ago, I didn’t know you. Despite being completely planned, wholly wanted, and eagerly anticipated, you were still a stranger inside of me. Nameless and faceless, part of me was terrified: I was scared that I wouldn’t love you enough. Worried that our family would change. Nervous that I would resent you.
You see, you joined a great little family of three- we thought we had our family dynamics down. We had our routines down to a science, we felt complete, and we were all pretty crazy about each other. Loving another child like I love your sister seemed unbelievable to me; I did not think it was possible. So when I thought about life with you, I envisioned a fussy newborn who would never sleep and only served to take me away time from his sister. I thought life with you was going to be so hard.
All of these big emotions just a few weeks ago, and now I cannot fathom how I ever questioned I could love you. Jack-Jack, you were loved with great BIG love the second you entered this world. The instant Daddy announced, “It’s a boy!” and you were placed in my arms, my heart grew ten sizes. And you have made life everything but hard—you are sweetest baby I’ve known. With you, there is joy, contentment, and peace. You are laidback and easy going (just as your late arrival indicated), snuggling often and crying rarely. You are too new to share smiles, but there is a dimple on your left cheek that is destined to melt my heart for years to come. Daddy has big dreams for football games and fishing trips. Sister asked you to crawl on the day you were born.
Sweet boy, you have transformed us. You have given us all new roles and have made us a real, grown-up family. I used to hear “Boys are the best!” and think, “Yeah…that’s just something people without daughters say.” But it turns out, you’re pretty spectacular.
Yes, it’s true– I was scared of you. I was afraid you’d change our family. And my fears were realized in the most surpassing, surprising, wonderful way I could have ever imagined. Welcome to the world, son. Stay awhile- we are blessed beyond measure to have you.