Child Loss Faith Grief

Faith Gave Us Strength After Losing Our Daughter From Placental Abruption

Faith Gave Us Strength After Losing Our Daughter From Placental Abruption www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Stephanie Holl

On Saturday September 26th 2015 my life was forever changed. My husband and I were anxiously awaiting the arrival of our third child. We have two sons, Ethan (3) and Eli (1) and we didn’t find out the gender of our babies so we were excited for the big day to come. This was our surprise child and we couldn’t be more happy to add another little one to our family. 

I started having contractions around 6 in the evening, I was definitely in the beginning stages of labor. We decided to go into the hospital around 8:00 pm. Once I got there, I told the nurse I wasn’t feeling well and thought I was about to pass out. My blood pressure dropped and they knew something wasn’t right.

I ended up having a placental abruption without any warning signs.

Within 30 minutes they had the baby out via a C-section. Our beautiful daughter, Eva Anne, was born with a heartbeat but never took a breath.  I lost a lot of blood and had to receive four transfusions. I was in the ICU for the night. Everything happened so quickly that we could barely grasp what was going on. But in the moment of all the chaos I had such a peace from the Lord.

The bible says that He gives peace that passes all understanding Phil 4:7. I could feel it and I knew before I went under that my baby was safe in the arms of Jesus.  I am grateful that the Lord spared my life, that I could still be a wife and mother to my boys. I will forever be thankful for my doctor and the staff at Mary Lanning Memorial Hospital and their excellent speedy work. Our families came right away and were able to hold her and say goodbye. My cousin is a photographer and more like a sister to me.  She took pictures to capture the beauty of our daughter. I will always treasure having those pictures to remember her and also to show to her brothers. I want to talk about her and remember that God blessed us with her life, even though it was only nine months in my tummy. 

When I think of grief it reminds me of the ocean. There are times it is calm, you feel that you are doing OK and finding some joy in life. Then out of nowhere, a big powerful wave comes over you. You struggle to even take a breath. You wonder if you can survive this wave that has taken you off your feet. For me that is where my faith comes into play. The Lord throws me a lifeline and helps me overcome and to breathe again. My husband and I were blessed with a trip to Hawaii after losing Eva. It was a great time for us to get away and to spend some quality time together. I loved sitting on the beach and just watching the ocean. The power in the waves and the beauty of God’s creation. 

Grief is a big shadow that wants to take over you and at times I feel it so strong. But there is a savior that if you ask He will help you bear the burden. I am thankful because of the sacrifice of Jesus, that one day I will see my daughter again. We have seen so many blessings come from Eva’s short life on this earth. We have felt an outpouring of love and support from family, friends, and our community. My heart and arms long to have my daughter back. My aunt who has also lost a child told me, “You have now joined a club that no one wants to join.”  I want our story to be able to minister to others that are in this club who are grieving the lost of a child. We can support each other with understanding and prayer.  Although it seems like life won’t go on there is a joy that only comes from the Lord from our mourning. 

Now 6 months after Eva’s birth, I can see how much I have grown in so many ways. Yes, I think of her everyday, what stages she would be going through, how she would have been playing with her brothers, how I would have dressed her up in cute clothes and hair bows. She will always be our first born daughter. Even though her life was so short, I have learned so much from her. I take time to see the beauty in the things around me, the importance of relationships with others, spending time with the boys and making lasting memories with them, and just slowing down to really enjoy the life that the Lord has blessed me with. 

Faith Gave Us Strength After Losing Our Daughter From Placental Abruption   www.herviewfromhome.com

Faith Gave Us Strength After Losing Our Daughter From Placental Abruption   www.herviewfromhome.com

Faith Gave Us Strength After Losing Our Daughter From Placental Abruption   www.herviewfromhome.com

Faith Gave Us Strength After Losing Our Daughter From Placental Abruption   www.herviewfromhome.com

 

 

 

 

About the author

Stephanie Holl

My husband Jon and I have been married for almost 6 years. We live on the family farm with our boys in central Nebraska. Jon and I both work for the family seed business Green Cover Seed. I only work part time and most of my time is spent being a mom to Ethan (4) and Eli (1 1/2). I love Jesus, coffee, and family. I enjoy being a house wife, teaching Ethan preschool, volunteering at church and spending time building relationships with others.

3 Comments

  • Your daughter is absolutely beautiful, physically and spiritually. The Lord is keeping her in His loving embrace until your family joins her one day. Bless you all.

  • I cannot even imagine how big your grief is and how strong your faith is. Sending so much love to you and your precious family.