All my life I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I did well in high school, scored high enough on the right tests, and could choose whatever path I wanted. I was ready for the final piece of the “success” puzzle: to find my purpose in life and take my place as a “grown up.” There was just one problem: I didn’t know what I wanted. 
 
I declared majors in everything from pre-pharmacy to accounting to early childhood education. Nothing ever felt exactly right. By pure chance, I stumbled into a job in education where the combination of working with incredible people and doing work that I believed in made my time there magical. I got lucky. After so many years of searching for my purpose, it seemed to have found me. 
 
But the only thing that never changes is that everything eventually changes. After seven years at the job I thought I would have forever, it was time to move on.
 
I felt lost. Again. And mad. Because this isn’t how ‘finding your purpose’ was supposed to go. By that time I was rapidly approaching thirty. After ten years of seeking what was mine to do in the world, I should have figured it out by now. I shouldn’t be back at zero. I shouldn’t still be starting over.
 
But I was. So I took a leap in another direction. I went back to school and became a licensed massage therapist. I loved being in school. I loved my classmates and teachers. I loved feeling challenged and growing in a new direction. And I enjoyed the work.
 
And I still didn’t feel like I’d found what I wanted to be when I grew up. 
 
Child #2 arrived and I decided to take my time returning to work. I’d never imagined myself a stay-at-home mom, but I had learned from my first-born how quickly time passes, and the urge to savor these precious moments with my littles brought a new perspective to my priorities.
 
And I’m loving every precious, sanity-sacrificing minute of it.
 
And… I still can’t stop wondering what I want to be when I grow up. 
 
Last week, my grandpa got very sick very fast. Family rallied in the ICU, some of the hardest working people I know dropping everything to be there. And I started thinking about how lucky they were to have the kind of jobs they could step away from when they needed to. So they could show up. Be present. 
 
And then I got to thinking about how lucky I am to have the time and space now to focus on people. My kids, obviously. But other people, too. We visit old co-workers. We schedule play-dates. We make treats for other people and surprise them. Instead of having every moment full of things on my “to-do list”, I have the space in my brain to remember to text people on special days or hard days. (I still don’t always do everything I mean to, but I do more than I did before.) What a blessing, to have the space to spend your energy on the things that really matter: people.
 
For the first time it occurred to me: What if the thing I am meant to do with my life isn’t a job? What if my “purpose” isn’t something I’ll ever get a paycheck for? 
 
All along I’ve made the assumption that my “purpose” will manifest itself as a job that will pay me. So often, that’s how we recognize adulthood, that’s how we measure success. But maybe my “work” to do in the world is something different. Maybe it’s not about what I want to do but rather about who I want to be in the world. Maybe my “purpose” in life is something I can do no matter where I work.
 
Sixteen days after my grandpa was admitted to the hospital, I sat in the second row of the church at his funeral. They didn’t talk about where he worked or how he made his living. They talked about the way he treated people. The way he helped people. The way he was always true to himself. 
 
And I realized I’ve had it backwards all along. I’ve been looking for the job, the work, the purpose, assuming that what you do becomes who you are. Assuming that I had to find what I would do in order to find who I truly am. But really, it’s the other way around: who we are becomes what we do. And in hindsight it makes perfect sense: The first step in finding my purpose was to find me.

Megan Launchbaugh

Megan is a Nebraska native who is still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. She spent eight years working in the education field before studying to become a Licensed Massage Therapist. Most recently she has begun exploring stay-at-home-mommyhood while raising her two daughters in a blended family with her amazing husband. She loves taking pictures, ordering books from Amazon, wishing she could play the guitar, and planning what she will go back to school for next. She blogs about authenticity and raising authentic children and, when she isn't cleaning up toys or folding laundry, she can be found writing in her own little corners of the Internet. Keeper of the Snacks: Mommyhood Unedited http://www.keeperofthesnacks.wordpress.com/ Connect with Megan: Facebook http://www.facebook.com/keeperofthesnacks Twitter @keeperofsnacks

To The Mother Who Is Overwhelmed

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Tired woman with coffee sitting at table

I have this one head. It is a normal sized head. It didn’t get bigger because I had children. Just like I didn’t grow an extra arm with the birth of each child. I mean, while that would be nice, it’s just not the case. We keep our one self. And the children we add on each add on to our weight in this life. And the head didn’t grow more heads because we become a wife to someone. Or a boss to someone. We carry the weight of motherhood. The decisions we must make each day—fight the shorts battle...

Keep Reading

To the Mother of My Son’s Future Wife

In: Grown Children, Inspiration, Kids, Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships
marriage, wife, husband, grown children, www.herviewfromhome.com

To the mother of my son’s future wife, I’m in the midst of dirty diapers and temper tantrums, but I do have days where I think about the future and what it will look like for my son. I wonder who he will be, what he will do and probably most of all, who he will love. I wonder about the type of woman he will bring home to meet us one day. I have my own thoughts on the type of person I wish my son would fall in love with, but we all know that the heart wants...

Keep Reading

Trading Fleeting Moments of Fame for Unshakeable Faith

In: Faith, Inspiration, Relationships
Trading Fleeting Moments of Fame for Unshakeable Faith www.herviewfromhome.com

The string quartet began playing Pachelbel, as my dad and I took our first steps down the aisle. I began to lose my composure as we proceeded to the altar. Hundreds of guests had their eyes on me as tears streamed down my face. Struggling to look my future in the eyes, I looked to the ground for reprieve. God, everything around me looks perfect, so why doesn’t this feel right? I’m not sure how I got here. The flame once dancing inside of me, has extinguished. Lord, I need you. Dad squeezed my hand gently, “Are you OK sweetie?”...

Keep Reading

Children Don’t Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger

In: Inspiration, Mental Health, Motherhood
Children Don't Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger www.herviewfromhome.com

“This too shall pass.” As mothers, we cling to these words as we desperately hope to make it past whichever parenting stage currently holds us in its clutches. In the thick of newborn motherhood, through night wakings, constant nursing and finding our place in an unfamiliar world, we long for a future filled with more sleep and less crying. We can’t imagine any child or time being more difficult than right now. Then, a toddler bursts forth, a tornado of energy destroying everything in his wake. We hold our breath as he tests every possible limit and every inch of...

Keep Reading

This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere

In: Inspiration, Kids, School, Teen
This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere www.herviewfromhome.com

When Paula and Kevin Burckard’s third child was born, she arrived with a little something extra the North Dakota couple never saw coming.  Newborn Grace had Down syndrome, and the diagnosis initially left the young parents devastated. “When Grace was born, I thought all my dreams for my daughter had basically been dashed,” Paula said.  But it didn’t take long for those fears to subside.  As Grace grew, not only did she meet and surpass milestones, her infectious joy, inspirational grit, and deep love of all things Michael Jackson transformed the family—and countless hearts. The Burckhards went on to adopt...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, When I Forget What It’s Like To Be Little

In: Child, Inspiration, Kids, Motherhood
Hey Mom, Don't Forget—You Were a Kid Once, Too www.herviewfromhome.com

The kids were squealing in the backseat. For the five minutes prior they were begging me to spill the beans on where we were going as I had only told them to get their shoes, get in the car and buckle up. It’s one of the ways I’ve learned to make a simple trip out of the house one that is a mysterious adventure to them. As we took left and right turns away from our house, they were trying to guess where we were going . . . and when we finally pulled up to a brand new playground...

Keep Reading

My Children Deserve To See the Whole Me, Not Just the Mom Me

In: Inspiration, Journal, Motherhood
My Children Deserve To See the Whole Me, Not Just the Mom Me www.herviewfromhome.com

Before I was a mother, I was a human being. A human being with life experiences, passions, fears, talents, hobbies, goals, friends and aspirations that I cherished and tried to honor. Even though I went through a variety of seasons of life . . . from school-age days, to working adult, to wife . . . those things always stayed with me. I stayed open to evolving, but never let go of who I inherently was. Then came motherhood. And suddenly I found myself abandoning my commitment to remain true to me, and leaving any semblance of myself in the...

Keep Reading

My Mother-in-Law’s Legacy: Simplicity

In: Inspiration, Journal
My Mother-in-Law's Legacy: Simplicity www.herviewfromhome.com

The memories of my mother-in-law spilled to the forefront of my mind, just as the contents of his jacket pocket fell onto our dresser. It was Proverbs 31, written on hotel stationery, in my neatest block print. Holding the small papers in my hand brought me right back to her graveside, on a hot summer morning, seven years ago. “Her children arise and call her blessed.” (verse 28) As my second daughter gave a mighty kick from the womb, visible to every mourner present that day, I couldn’t help but to allow my mind to wander. Were my values apparent...

Keep Reading

A Car Accident Left My Teenager Paralyzed—and Incredibly Fierce

In: Inspiration, Journal
A Car Accident Left My Teenager Paralyzed—and Incredibly Fierce www.herviewfromhome.com

I drove back from my son’s college concert near midnight. Exhausted, I glanced at my 14-year-old daughter, Beth, asleep in the passenger seat. We were only 10 minutes from home. I thought I could make it until I heard a road sign flatten on concrete. As the car flipped three times across a bare Ohio field, we left behind an ordinary life. I escaped with cuts, bruises, and blood-matted hair. Beth was another story. The car was cut open and a helicopter rushed her to Toledo. A doctor told my husband John that she was paralyzed. When John broke the news...

Keep Reading

Dear Mama, You’re Allowed To Not Be There

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Dear Mama, You're Allowed To Not Be There www.herviewfromhome.com

Friday afternoon was not much crazier than most afternoons. My husband was mowing the lawn, my daughter was hangry and my youngest son was due to be in a talent show in twenty minutes. I stood in the kitchen—where it seemed like I’d been for an hour—trying to motivate my family to eat dinner and get ready to go. “Get dressed, Jude. Make sure you eat something.” “Dean, do you want a slice of pizza before we leave?” I screamed over the lawn mower. “Maeve, are you going to the optional soccer practice or the talent show? You need to...

Keep Reading