I’m getting ready to do something I haven’t done in my almost four and a half years of being a mom – go on a vacation without my kids. Excited, ecstatic, jubilant…these probably aren’t strong enough words to describe how I feel about a few nonchalant days relaxing on the beach. Still, I can’t totally fight away the anxious feelings about being so far away from my children for the first time ever.

Luckily, they’re staying home with Daddy because this is a girls’ trip, so I’m not (completely) freaking out. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to leave my husband a little note to help him survive a few days without me.

Dear Husband,

First of all, thank you for setting up this trip for me! It’s not something I ever would have done without you, but since it was your idea, I’m more than cool with it.

I’ll just get right to it, though. While I’m gone, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. Here’s a simple list for you.

1. School: Don’t forget that Thursday is library day, so our preschooler will need to put his book into his bag on Wednesday night. I wish you luck finding said book, as I’m sure it’s probably lost by now. Good places to check are under the couch, behind the couch, in the couch…pretty much anywhere around the couch. It’s a black hole for toys, socks, and books.
2. Laundry: I honestly hope you don’t even need to touch the laundry, for both your sake and mine, but it might be inevitable. Just remember to actually separate the laundry (I know this is asking a lot) and wash colors on cold. Don’t worry about all the other buttons on the machine; a normal cycle will likely do for anything you have to wash.
3. Bedtime: You only have one school night to deal with while I’m gone, but please try to stick to bedtime the other nights. I know it’s easy to pop in a movie and let the boys crash on the couch whenever, but that will just make them wish I wasn’t back home when my trip is over and I lay down the law.
4. Weather: Unfortunately for you, you have to deal with a cool down while I’m basking in the sun. I wish I could say I was sorry, but I’m really not (sorry!). The heavy coats are still out if you need them, but please remember to take them off when you put the boys in their car seats. I know it’s a pain, but just humor me please.
5. Food: You’re more than capable of feeding our children, but please don’t let them drink juice the whole time. Especially before bed – I guarantee you’ll be doing laundry in that case. Also, if you go to the store, watch the older one. He likes to sneak stuff into the cart lately.
6. General Housekeeping: All I ask is that you keep it somewhat clean. You know I’m not a neat freak, but I’m still not going to be thrilled if I get home and it’s a total wreck. Wipe the table after meals, sweep the kitchen floor, use a new wash cloth for dishes each day, put dirty clothes in the hamper, and I’ll probably be a happy camper.

That’s all I have for now, but you know me…I’ll probably end up calling or texting you with more. There is one last thing, though – you’ve totally got this. You don’t get enough credit for what you’re capable of as a dad, and there’s no one I’d trust more with our kids while I’m gone. I won’t just miss the boys – I’ll miss you too, and as I excited as I am for a vacation, I’ll be just as excited to come home and see you all again, even if I arrive home to a war zone.

Love,

Your Slightly Neurotic Wife