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Gotta Get Away

Written by Kathy Glow

Written By:  Kathy Glow @ Kissing the Frog

“I’m not sure that we should go,” I said to my husband as I tried to keep my toddler, who was rubbing a nose full of snot all over my leg, from taking the wet, clean clothes out of the dryer. “Evan is sick.  What if he wakes up in the night?” I asked over the loud beeps and blasts of Jack’s video game.

In the distance we hear the other two boys yelling over a toy, “I had it first!” “No, I had it first!”

“This is precisely why we need to go,” he said, throwing his hands up at all the chaos around us.  “We gotta get away!”

I knew he was right.  And I also knew that going away by ourselves for one night wasn’t going to be a big production.  We had our favorite babysitter lined up, and the lake house was waiting for us, just Hubby and me.  But we hadn’t told the boys we were going.  I was afraid there would be tears and protests that they weren’t included.

On Saturday morning, we told the boys we were leaving and that Megan was going to watch them.  They were bouncing off the walls when she arrived, giving hugs and asking her a million questions.

“Good-bye,” I said, standing in the hall with my suitcase, “I’ll miss you.”

“Yeah, bye, Mom.  Megan, can we get doughnuts for breakfast tomorrow?”  Four-year-old Colin didn’t even skip a beat.

“Bye, Mom – hey!  Why do you have your suitcase?”   A-ha! Six-year-old Adam finally noticed.  Cue the emotional breakdown.

I squatted down next to him so I could look him in the eye, “Daddy and I are going away for the night, but we’ll be back tomor-“

“Okay, cool.  Megan!  Can we sleep in the tent tonight?”  And he was off.

I couldn’t even find eight-year-old Jack before we left, and Baby Evan was already being held upside down and tickled and swatted me away when I tried to kiss him.

Twenty miles down the road, I said to Hubby, “No one even cared that we were leaving.”

He looked sideways at me and smiled, “That’s because they need a break from us as much as we need a break from them.”

I knew he was right.

It’s not as if Hubby and I have never been away together.  We have many times, but this one felt a bit deceptive since we were going to the lake house we’d been to as a family all summer long.

I felt – guilty – to be truthful.

That is until Hubby and I jammed to all the classic music we used to love, rather than listen to endless video game noise and DVDs.

And I got to read every magazine I brought, and wiped no one’s bottom or nose but my own.

I cooked no one dinner, and cleaned up after not a single person.

Hubby and I stayed out on the boat as long as we wanted without hearing, “We’re bored! Let’s go back!”

 

And we ate dinner at that nice restaurant that we had to leave that one time because the boys were being loud and naughty.

We met my sister and brother-in-law and their friends at the park and listened to loud – and free! – rock music until way past anyone’s bed time.

We slept in, the diminishing haze of sleep waking us rather than the cries of a toddler wanting to be freed from the Pack-n-Play.

We tried that fancy brunch buffet that we’d heard about and hopped from one cute boutique to the next without having to worry about wild little boys and strollers knocking over carefully arranged displays.

And we met some old friends for an afternoon drink and boat ride and had actual adult conversation without anyone interrupting.

There were no schedules to keep, no naps around which to plan, no tantrums to try and avoid. Driving home, we kidded each other a little that we missed hearing the “Are we there yets?” and the “I want to play Daddy’s IPad nexts!”

Everyone was asleep when we finally arrived home Sunday night.  I was tempted to sneak in their rooms to steal some kisses, but I let sleeping children lie.  The next morning the kisses and hugs and the retelling of the weekend’s events were sweet enough.

Yes, there were doughnuts and tents and fruit snacks and a trip to the bouncy place.  But not one of the boys asked us what we did, or even where we went.

That’s okay.  Because when Hubby left for work, we smiled a special smile at each other.  We’ll keep our secret to ourselves.

That will make it easier to get away again next time.

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Do you and your spouse go away together without your children?  Where do you go and are your kids okay with it?

About the author

Kathy Glow

Kathy Glow is a wife and mom to four lively boys and one beautiful angel in Heaven, lost to cancer. Most days you can find her under a pile of laundry ordering take-out. When she is not driving all over town in her mini-van or wiping “boy stuff” off the walls, she is writing about what life is REALLY like after all your dreams come true. Her writing has been featured on sites such as Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Good Housekeeping, and Mamalode; but Her View From Home is her favorite place to be. Her blog is at www.lifewiththefrog.com. You can follow her on Facebook at Kissing the Frog.

4 Comments

  • I think it is very important to find time to reconnect with your spouse after you have kids. Even if that means a date night now and then.

    My husband and I try to get away just the two of us. Everything from a night out to getting on a plane and going on a vacation. We try to take a trip every 5 years around our anniversary (this year is our 10 year and we’re going to the Dominican Republic!).

    My kids are okay with this because my mom (and sometimes my dad if he can get away from work) are the people who take care of my son and daughter. There are times when my parents are in town and my son asks us to go to a movie so grandma and grandpa can babysit.

    Our first trip away together was also my first time leaving my son overnight. We went to Las Vegas for 5 days when my son was 18 months old. I thought for sure he would miss me so much when they came to pick us up at the airport he would run to me and be so happy I was finally home.

    What really happened was this, he saw my husband and me walking up to him. He pointed us out to my mom, waved, and then continued to run around and play as if we had been gone 5 hours not 5 days.
    As sad as I was he didn’t run to me with open arms, I knew that he had been in very good hands while we were away. And I know that makes it easier on us all to get away.

    • That sounds great, Kelly. We’re also fortunate that my parents help watch the boys when we’re gone longer. It’s definitely an added piece of mind that helps you relax more and worry less.

  • awwww…sounds heavenly! love trips with just my husband. unfortunately they are few and far between. our last trip just the two of us was vegas.

    • I suppose it is going to get harder to get away as the boys get older and busier. We’re supposed to go to Hawaii in February! I’ll have to chat with you about that, Sanae.