Child Loss Featured Journal

Held Your Whole Life

Written by Leah Peterson

October 15, 2014

Dear wee ones,

Another year has come and gone.  As Maggie grows and changes, I think about each of you.  I wonder what you would be doing, and how noisy our home would be.  I smile when I think about the joy you would add to our lives.

I promised you that I would never forget what you meant to me.  Earlier this year, I got the idea that a children’s memorial garden might be an appropriate way to honor your memory, and that of so many other wee ones who are with you in heaven.  Time got away from me, and I didn’t accomplish as much as I wished.  It’s my prayer that in the next year, we can establish something in our community that will be meaningful to all the people who want to honor their angels.

angels

I did find the time to plant two butterfly bushes back in May.  One is purple and the other red.  Both became beautiful and attracted moths and butterflies alike.  I found this simple lawn stake as well, and decided to paint it and add butterflies to the one existing one.  That way, there is one for each of you.

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Time does not heal all wounds, and I learned a long time ago that it serves no purpose to limit one’s time to grieve.  Time does soften the ache, as well as the act of praying for peace and focusing on life’s good things, and all the blessings from above.

On this day, I remember each of you, and how I felt the day I learned you were a possibility, rather than the day I learned I had lost each of you.  I am using it as a day to focus on helping and reaching out to others who grieve, so that they feel the love and support and encouragement needed to help them through their loss.  I believe God has used your little lives to show me that He wants me to do this for Him and for you.

With love for you all, 

Your mama

My heart is with you today: Cousin Jen, cousin Tara, Betsy, Brittany, Jackie, Karisa, Shauna, Jen, Dawn, Jeanette, Sara, Stacy, Heather K., Holly, Kelly, Cortney, Ann, Joy, Melissa M., Sonya, Denise, Becky, Jess, Lori, Kristi, Alicia, Heather S., Sara, Lindsey, Melissa L., Anissa, Robyn, Kelsey, Sue, Amy…and so many more.  May God comfort you as you remember.

* Held Your Whole Life is a non profit organization that ministers to those who have experienced pregnancy and/or infant loss.  They do this through a legion of volunteers who hand stamp necklaces and key chains for mothers and fathers who have experienced loss.  They blessed me with the gift of this necklace, all made possible because of the generous gifts of donor families from around the country.  Learn more at their website:  www.heldyourwholelife.com

 For more stories of men and women who share grief over the loss of a child click here.

About the author

Leah Peterson

Leah Peterson is a native Nebraskan, living on the ranch her ancestors homesteaded in 1878. She and her husband Matt, met at the University of Nebraska Lincoln, and returned to the ranch in 2012 after working and living in Central Nebraska the past 12 years. They are parents to two daughters, Maggie and Lucy. Leah has an undergrad degree from UNL in Communication Studies, and a MA in Leadership from Bellevue University. Aside from her work at the ranch and opportunity to be a stay at home mom, she enjoys writing, photography, community involvement, spending time with friends and family and trying new recipes in her kitchen. Leah published her first children’s book in 2011 titled “An Apple for Dapple” and enjoys traveling throughout the state to share her book with children and raise awareness about the importance Agriculture in Nebraska.

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