Faith Humor Journal Relationships

I Can’t Believe I Let My Husband Do This On Our Honeymoon

I Can't Believe I Let My Husband Do This On Our Honeymoon www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Christine Leeb

The Dreaded Day 3…

It was Day 3 of our honeymoon…dun…dun…dun!  A day I will never forget.  A day I learned what marriage was really about.  

It was just three days after our big wedding, our “I Do’s,” our commitment to spend the rest of our lives together.  For better or worse.  In sickness and in health. 

My husband had no idea how quickly I would bank on those vows!

Day 1 and Day 2 of our honeymoon were filled with splashes in the pool, walks along the beach, sunset watching, giant bike riding in the ocean, and seeing each other at our best–our sexiest outfits, our most agreeable moods, and our most fun and adventurous spirits. 

On Day 3, that all changed…

On the evening of Day 2, we dined at a gorgeous beach side restaurant.  We ate.  We drank wine–all while gazing into each other’s eyes as the waves crashed on the shore nearby.  It was so romantic.  However, the next morning on day 3, I awoke to a gurgling stomach – churning – aching.

I knew that something was going to come out somewhere.  It was just a matter of time.  NOOOOOOOOOO!  Not on my honeymoon!

I wanted to hide my pain.  I wanted to pretend all was well so we could go snorkeling and continue being flirty and sexy and enjoying our fairy tale of love and romance and happiness and fun.  

I was about to ruin it all with a reality check of “the runs.”

I couldn’t hide it any longer.  I had to tell my husband of 3 days that I had the stomach bug.  Every 20 minutes throughout the entire morning, I was running to the bathroom and then crawling back to bed.  My sexy new spouse was right there.  He was getting me sips of water.  He was dabbing my sweaty head with a cool wash rag.  He sat in a chair next to the bed as I groaned and complained – helping me – encouraging me – being there for me.  

But wait…it gets worse.  

As the trips to the bathroom started winding down, all my strength and energy and modesty were gone.  I simply quit putting my clothes back on.  I quit caring that we were on our honeymoon.  I quit caring that I was pooping every 20 minutes in our Honeymoon Suite right in front of my new forever man.  I quit caring that I was a mess.  I flopped over onto the bed falling face first into the pillows, and I hear my husband of less than 72 hour’s voice whisper to me….”Honey, you have some poop on your butt.”  

And I thought I couldn’t feel worse.  I didn’t care though.  I couldn’t move.  I just wanted to die of pain and now, of embarrassment.  I was just lying there – hot, sweaty, stinky, naked – with poop on my sun-kissed butt.  

Without saying another word, my brand new mate for life went into the bathroom, grabbed some toilet paper, sat next to me on the bed, and——-wiped my butt.  Yes, he wiped my butt.  Now that’s love!

This moment will forever be known as our “Welcome to Marriage Moment!”

I was mortified, but at the same time, I was given a gift.  A gift to see that my husband was going to be there for me no matter what.  That he was going to be someone I could laugh with, have romantic dinners with, walk on the beach with, and enjoy the good times with, but he was also going to be someone who would stay by my side when I was at my worst.  And that’s what matters most in life and in marriage.

We still laugh together, even after almost 17 years of marriage, as we reflect on Day 3 of our honeymoon.  We recognize how much Day 3 prepared us (especially for my husband) for what was to come.  He has seen me even more vulnerable, at my most disgusting, at my very, very, very worst.  He has been there for the birth via C-Section of our three children. He has been there for countless stomach bugs, flu bugs, cold bugs, and even depression bugs.   

He’s been there–by my side–through it all. 

It hasn’t been easy.  We’ve even been near divorce, but I’m so thankful that we both have been able to move forward, press on, and persevere through some really rough times, tough conversations, and painful moments.  We have both grown and allowed God to shape us into the individuals and into the couple that we are today.  Through our struggles, we’ve gained strength, wisdom, trust, and confidence in ourselves and in each other.  Our marriage gets stronger with every year…with every day.   

Even now, on Day 6,052 of our marriage, the honeymoon is well over, but we continue to celebrate those moments throughout our lives that have brought us closer together – more committed to one another – forever.  Best friends by each other’s side no matter what comes our way – poopy butts and all!

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About the author

Christine Leeb

Christine Leeb–Speaker and Christian Family Coach specializing in Parenting and Child Discipline.  Founder of Real Life Families–a non-profit organization building better families through free classes and resources.  Mother to three awesome (and exhausting) children from whom she shamefully hides brownies.  Wife to one patient (and polar-opposite) husband with whom she constantly quotes “Friends”.  www.RealLifeFamilies.org 
  • I love this! I, too, have a husband (of 34 years) who has had to endure myriad intimate but totally non-sexy care-taking of me. Don’t ever let anyone tell you there aren’t any good men out there, because we are living proof that there are.