Journal Relationships

I Don’t Need a Man

I Don't Need a Man www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Kristin Majerus

The other day at my coffee shop I overheard a cluster of girls about my age discussing the woes of their dating lives. A couple of them seemed to be in some sort of dating relationship that they weren’t 100% satisfied with, and they were expressing their frustrations with their significant others to the rest of the group. Different pieces of advice were being offered up, until one girl chimed in and said, “You guys are wasting your time. I’m single and happy. I don’t need a man.”

In an attempt to not be the awkward girl sitting by herself at the coffee shop obviously eavesdropping on their conversation, I stuffed my sandwich in my mouth in order to prevent a defensive comment from coming out of it. Of course there’s nothing wrong with being single, and I’m glad that girl seems happy and content with where she’s at in life. But I wanted to clear something up for her, because I remember thinking similar thoughts before I got married and am forever thankful for the women who spoke these truths to me. I wasn’t offended by her comment, but it implied that because I am not single and rather am married, that I do need a man. That because I have someone who takes care of me that I am unable to take care of myself.

The last few weeks have found my husband and I in a unique situation, one that involves him living in Texas and me living in Nebraska. Although only temporary, there have definitely been things that are different living 12 hours apart. It has been hard on me filling in the gaps in areas he would normally handle, and it has been hard on him not being able to be here to serve me in these things. For example, in the past few weeks I have taken the trash out, taken the dumpster to the curb, put gas in my car AND maximized the benefit of the Hy-Vee Fuel Saver, carried in the groceries, mailed the rent check, signed a new lease, set up new utilities accounts, driven myself to my parents house, and cleaned the bugs off my windshield. All things my husband would normally do for me if he was here.

You’re probably wondering if I ever actually do anything when he is here, but that’s not the point. The point is that I did it. And of course I did! I am a fully functioning human being just as much now as I was before I was married. While I am a little bit proud of myself for getting stuff done, my point is that I am so much MORE proud when I watch my husband do these things for me as acts of service. I will always be capable of doing these things and will never need him to do any of these things for me. But I do need to be served by my husband and to let my husband serve me. Witnessing someone I love do things for me simply because he loves me in return has given me such a huge amount of joy. And I pray that the girl at the coffee shop someday gets to experience a similar relationship, because “needing” a man has made me such a better woman than I ever was on my own.

About the author

Kristin Majerus

Hello! My name is Kristin. I’m originally from central Nebraska but currently find myself in Omaha. My heart belongs to two people: 1. Jesus and 2. my husband and cat daddy Taylor. I work as a Personal Trainer and Taylor is working his way through Physical Therapy school, so I’m rocking the whole “married with no kids while my husband is in school single income family” thing. While Taylor is up to his eyeballs in textbooks and thera-bands, I can usually be found reading, writing, or working on making our one bedroom apartment a home. I’m so excited to share pieces of my life with you guys, and hope you find joy in following along. You can learn everything about me and then some at my personal blog https://kristinmajerus.wordpress.com/

2 Comments

  • Interesting piece, Kristen. After a 23 year marriage, I now live alone. Devastated at the time that he left me, I truly believed that I did need a man to feel complete. Now, years later, I relish the single life and personally wouldn’t give it up. I can eat dinner at 10 p.m. or shower at 3 a.m. without disturbing another. My home is decorated with feminine touches and my buddy is my cat. Please, don’t feel sorry for me as this is my choice. Different strokes for different folks?? Thank you for giving me food for thought.

  • I appreciated this! It really resonated with me when you said “witnessing someone I love do things for me simply because he loves me in return has given me such a huge amount of joy.” It’s not about needing a man, it’s about appreciating a man and what he does for you when he’s serving from his heart. Sure, we can survive along, but partnerships make life so much easier and enjoyable!