Grief Relationships

If Our Husbands Died Tonight

If Our Husbands Died Tonight www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Holly Bonner

If our husbands died tonight, men in uniform would come to our doors. 

Flashing lights would illuminate our homes.

We’d be delivered the news.

Our worlds would be shattered.

 

If our husbands died tonight; we would gasp for air.

Drowning in our sorrow.

Our hearts would be broken.

Our souls would ache for the men we love.

 

If our husbands died tonight, we would tell our children “daddy” is gone.

He’s never coming home.

They will never see him again.

As mothers, we would put aside our own grief to comfort our babies.

 

If our husbands died tonight, we would plan the funeral.

Details of the service would be our responsibility.

We’d pick out their suits.

We would choose the flowers.

We would select the casket.

 

If ours husbands died tonight, we would mourn with family and friends.

We would stand in a room permeated by the smell of flowers.

We would shake every hand.

Thank every visitor.

We would do our best to “keep it together” for the sake of our children.  

 

It our husbands died tonight, we would stand at their graves while their caskets were lowered.

The hole in the ground, representative of the hole in our hearts.

We would cry for the loss of our soul mates.

We would wrap our arms around his children.

They would be all we would have left of the men that we love. 

 

If our husbands died tonight, the fan fair of their funerals would soon be over.

We would return to empty homes. 

Visitors and casseroles would eventually stop.

We would ask ourselves, “Will we ever feel happy again?”

 

If our husbands died tonight, both of us would question God’s plan. 

We would ask how He could have allowed such a tragedy.

Our faith would be shaken.

We would scream; we would cry.   

We would beg for God’s infinite mercy.

 

If our husbands died tonight, we would search deep within ourselves.

Summoning our remaining strength.

We are mothers.

For the sake of our children; we would be forced to go on.

 

I don’t want my husband to die tonight. 

I don’t want your husband to die tonight.

 

My husband is a white police officer. 

Your husband is a black man. 

 

My life would not be the same without the man I love. 

Your life would be equally impacted.

 

My children need their father. 

Your children need theirs. 

 

Two different women. 

From two different races.

Sharing the same fear that our husbands might die tonight.       

 

My husband’s life matters. 

Your husband’s life matters. 

 

If we can both agree on that, then why must men continue to die?

About the author

Holly Bonner

Holly Bonner is a Staten Island based psychotherapist and Director of Education & Outreach for IlluminArt Productions. A wife and mother of two daughters, Holly became legally blind in 2012 after battling breast cancer. She navigates motherhood relying on help from modern technology, a white cane, and her sixth sense provided by eyes in the back of her head! Her website, http://blindmotherhood.com/, chronicles her adventures in parenting and provides useful information for all mommies. Holly lives by the mantra that even without vision, you should never lose sight of life, love and laughter.