Faith Kids Motherhood

I’m Not Ready For My Baby To Night Wean

I'm Not Ready For My Baby To Night Wean www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Rebekah Thompson

It is 1:43 AM. I hear him in my sleep and drowsily pull myself out of bed to go get him. He is waiting for me, upset that it has taken so long, although it really has only been a few seconds.

When I enter his room he starts to calm but still tells me that he is hungry, thirsty or in need of comfort. He is satisfied when I pick him up and take him to my breast.

My baby is one, well past the age when society thinks babies should be sleeping through the night, and he still wakes between two and four times per night. Usually two, sometimes four, rarely- when sick or teething- more.

Neither of my older boys slept through the night before fifteen months so I don’t expect Andrew to. When people ask about sleep at night I laugh and shrug my shoulders. I shrug because he is following the same pattern as my older boys and I laugh because I don’t want him to sleep through the night yet.

I will admit that it is tiring and there are moments of frustration, “why he can’t just sleep through the night?” Coffee or strong tea is a need to get through the day, not something that I just have when I want. Daily naps are also needed. Yet I still cherish those moments in the dark with my baby.

My husband and I don’t plan on Andrew being our last child, but with his babyhood I have come to treasure each stage more and more. He is my baby, for now, and I want to be fully in these moments; I want to breathe in his sweet milky breath and feel it even as it calms. I want his sleepy body to weigh my arms down as he drifts to sleep. I want to see his eyes close, study his face, and feel his soft baby hands against my belly because I know too well how quickly this will be gone.

I’m not ready for my baby to night wean because it is my favorite time. In these moments in the dark I am the only one who can comfort him. During the day he will turn to Daddy or his brothers besides me for comfort. At night he only wants momma.

I’m not ready for my one-year-old to wean because our breastfeeding relationship reminds me of the Scriptures which speak of our Heavenly Father’s loving care.

I will comfort you there in Jerusalem as a mother comforts her child.” Isaiah 66:13

“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!”  Isaiah 49:15

When my son comes to me angry or hurt seeking comfort I am reminded of how God wants us to do the same thing; he wants us to come to Him with our hurts, with the things that make us angry, he wants us to come to Him as we are and like a nursing mother He draws us close and gives us comfort. When my baby calls to me in the middle of the night I am reminded that my Father wants me to come to Him at any time, no matter how dark my night may be, no matter what I feel I may have done, He wants me to call out to Him in the darkness and know that He will come running. He wants us to rest in His arms like a baby drunk on milk. He wants us to slow down our breathing, to trust that He will not let us go, to fall asleep with the awareness of His love.

I am not ready to lose this nightly picture of God’s goodness. I am not ready to miss the weight of Andrew relaxing and falling asleep in my arms. I am not ready for the baby to night wean.

It might be selfish, but I’m not ready. When Andrew does decide to night wean, or we help him make the transition to no more night nummies, I will miss these quiet middle of the night encounters with my boy. I will miss them even as I sleep through the night.

About the author

Rebekah Thompson

Rebekah Thompson is a wife of seven years, boy momma to three handsome little men, birth and postpartum doula, and homeschooling lady. She loves writing about what she is learning in this crazy season of life with littles at her site appropriately called Surviving Toddlerhood. She gets through the hard days with Jesus, coffee, and lots of chocolate.

  • Christina Kamp

    Don’t worry about what other people think, you know what’s right for you and your baby. You are an awesome mom. 🙂

    • Rebekah

      aww, thanks for that! 🙂

  • Terryn Winfield

    Oh yes, yes, and more yes! So beautifully true. I am nursing my sixth baby now, who is 15 months. She isn’t sleeping through the night, nor were my others at this age. I have heard it all, but I know how quickly the time passes and I want to savor each moment. Only the Lord knows which baby will be my last <3

    • Rebekah

      Yes!! Thanks for sharing that, Terryn, sometimes all we hear about are the babies who are sleeping through the night at four weeks and six weeks, when the reality is that many babies don’t sleep through the night for much, much longer.

  • Amanda

    Beautiful post! My baby is 14 and this made me kind of sad 🙁 I remember waiting so anxiously for the next stage to come, now I wish I could go back and stop and enjoy each phase! They grow soooo fast!!!

    • Rebekah

      Don’t they!! My oldest just turned six. I know it will only be tomorrow and he will be turning 16.

  • Sandra Zimmerman

    cherish these moments, all to quickly they will be only a memory. My “babies” sleep all night now (they better would they are ages 5-12) but sometimes I miss those late night bonding sessions. There is something so special about holding a drowsy infant and filling their tummies, knowing they need you and love with all their heart. Blessings as you continue parenting your children. Oh, and don’t worry what other people say! 🙂

    • Rebekah

      And, as you have just pointed out to me, those moments are ones that we will never regret.

  • Samantha

    This is so sweet. A lot of people just look forward to the full night of sleep, but those moments in the middle of the night are irreplaceable.

    • Rebekah

      They are!! It may seem a romantic thought that the moments are special but I do truly miss them when they are gone.

  • Ashley Freligh

    I know what you mean. I just fully weaned two weeks ago (at 18 months) and I got plenty of stares and comments about the length of time. It just worked for us to wean at 18 months, but truly I would have kept going.

    • Rebekah

      Weaning can be hard for both you and baby. Hopefully you had an easy transition!!

  • TraditionalMomModernWorld

    So sweet, I love the verses you shared.Nursing is such a beautiful connection between mother and child.

    • Rebekah

      It is! It really is my favorite thing. 🙂

  • This is beautiful! I’m a first time mom and to be honest I’ve been looking forward to night weaning. But this is such a great perspective. It’s so cool to get a glimpse of the Father’s heart through moments with our kids. I’m going to think on that tonight when I’m up with my baby.

    • Rebekah

      🙂 thanks, Jenna! I’ve found that my faith has been strengthened so much since having children. God has used them to teach me many beautiful and amazing truths about Him and His love for us.

  • Love this post! My littlest is 5 months old now and she is sleeping through the night, but she is still sleeping in my room. Even though her room is right next to ours and I know she would be perfectly fine, I just feel like I am not ready yet. My husband and I have talked about this possibly being our last baby (she is our 4th girl), but the older she gets the more blurred that conversation gets lol.

    • Rebekah

      Some of these transitions are hard. We didn’t move the baby out of our room until he was 8 months and I still didn’t want to but Hubby said he needed to move out, so I understand what you are saying.
      Haha! I know how that conversation goes. 🙂 We both love babies and at the moment I can’t imagine not having babies in our house. We will just see what God has in store for us.

  • Jody

    Beautiful words, mama! I have a five month old and as much as I truly miss my sleep and NEED my sleep, I absolutely LOVE that he needs me and that I can give him what no one else can. You are a fabuous mother! xo

    • Rebekah

      Aww, thanks!! isn’t it a wonderful feeling to be needed!

  • CouponDivaAndi

    God wants to comfort us too 🙂

    • Rebekah

      So true!

  • Kay Ann-Marie

    Motherhood is such a precious thing!

    • Rebekah

      It is!!

  • So precious, Rebekah. These indeed are precious memories to store up with your little one. My first baby nursed for 13 months and weaned himself – but he slept through the night around 2 months. We were missionaries in Ethiopia at that time. I can just picture you cuddling little Andrew in the wee hours of the morning. Blessings on you and yours. Amy

    • Rebekah

      Thanks, Amy!! Thanks also for working to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ!
      I do love those midnight cuddles!

  • bstoutsweeps

    I remember those days. My youngest is 7 so it’s been awhile since I’ve had to be up all night, but I do remember those days.

    • Rebekah

      Great memories!

  • Krystal Miller

    My daughter is almost 2 and she still hasn’t night weaned. Each baby is different!

  • Awe, cherishing those moments is exactly what you should be doing. I’m glad you aren’t caving into the guilt of what the world thinks we should be doing as mommas. +

    • Rebekah

      Oh, thanks, Tami! Sometimes it is so hard to keep ourselves from listening to what others say that we should be doing and listen to our momma instincts.

  • Tara Jones Wohlford

    I loved nursing my babies at night. It was such a special time with my first. My second wouldn’t breast feed long. I always missed that.

    • Rebekah

      Breastfeeding can be hard and it doesn’t always work for every baby and momma.

  • Kate

    I completely relate to this. My son is almost 11 months and I have no desire to stop breastfeeding anytime soon. I know I won’t be able to pump at work much longer, so I will be holding on to nursing him in the evenings/night/morning as long as he lets me!

    • Rebekah

      aww. Props to you for pumping! I really dislike it!

  • This is beautiful! To each their own. If you and your baby aren’t ready than keep enjoying those precious moments!! I love my sleep too much so I always looked forward to night weaning, but that’s just me 🙂

    • Rebekah

      Heehee. Yep! Every momma doesn’t need to do what I do, and I hope I didn’t make anyone feel that way. You need to do what is best for your family.

  • What a great outlook! i’m currently breastfeeding my 3 months old son twice every night and saw it as a burden. I’m going to try to think it’s a blessing and make the most of it! He’s my last baby too, which makes it that much more enjoyable.

    • Rebekah

      Oh yes!! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t always enjoy those midnight feeding, but I know that I will miss them so much when they are gone. I love the cuddles most of the time, but not all the time. 🙂 Enjoy these last nights, Angela!

  • Your perspective is so sweet. My little girl self weaned at 9 months, I was sad. I’m looking forward to nursing my next; it’s such sweet moments to cherish.

    • Rebekah

      It can be hard when they wean, especially if it wasn’t something that you were quite ready for. I usually go between being sad that one is done and then glad that I have a break before another baby comes. 🙂