Kids Motherhood

I’ve Got Girls, She’s Got Boys: 10 Things To Love About Both

I've Got Girls, She's Got Boys: 10 Things To Love About Both www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Elizabeth Spencer

A few weeks ago, my friend Julie wrote a guest post called “You Might Be a Home Schooler If…” for my blog. I couldn’t write that post, because I’m not a home schooler.

I also can’t write a post about being a mom of boys, because I’m not one of those, either.  But Julie can, because she is. So she did.

What I can write about is being a mom of girls. So that’s what I’ve done.

This isn’t about stereotyping or labeling or pigeonholing kids based on their gender. We’re not trying to say all boys do this or all girls do that. We’re just saying that this is what life with boys and life with girls looks like for us, respectively. And, for that matter, respectfully.

Whether you’re a mom of boys or a mom of girls or mom of a mixed company, here’s what Julie and I think you might love about it as much as we do.

Julie’s View: 10 Things I Love About Having Boys

I've Got Girls, She's Got Boys: 10 Things To Love About Both   www.herviewfromhome.comI have two boys, ages 13 and 14. We didn’t find out the gender of either while I was pregnant, and when I was pregnant with the younger, I was really hoping for another boy. I already had all the toys and clothes, and I knew they’d be great friends. Many people asked me if I wanted a girl after having two boys, but I never did. Even though boys can be gross and messy and weird, I love having them. Here’s just a few of the many reasons why:

They get each other’s jokes. They have many “inside” jokes, and they laugh together all the time. They won’t share most of these jokes with me, and that’s ok, because I probably don’t want to know.

They like to ride quads and dirt bikes. This should probably scare me, and sometimes it makes me nervous. But for some reason, not much brings a smile to my face like seeing them ride off down the field on their quads. 

They treat me like a lady. Their father taught them early on to hold the door for me, and to thank me after each meal I’ve prepared for them. I love watching them become gentlemen.  

They’re tough but tender. They are becoming strong, but at the same time, they hug me when I’m crying, they tell me they love me when I least expect it, and they help me if ever I’m in trouble.

They’re best friends. They’re close in age and they’re home schooled, so they’re stuck with each other all day. And even though they’re total opposites, they really seem to enjoy each other.

They adore their dad. There’s something about boys and their dads. They listen to him more closely, obey him more quickly, and definitely prefer him over me. Oh well, I’m glad it’s that way. At least they still want me when they’re sick.

I can make them do things. I can claim they need to take out the garbage and walk the dog, because I’m busy inside cooking and cleaning.

They can pee outside. Actually, I’m just jealous. I gotta go all the way back in the house. What a time waster.  My youngest will even pee outside the living room door while watching TV so he doesn’t have to take 20 steps to the bathroom and then wash his hands. What a life!

 I like to see them turning into men. Their voices change and they start noticing girls. I’m not sure I’m ready for this, but it’s fun to watch anyway.

They’re less expensive than girls. No barrettes, tights, dresses, or makeup.  However, as I think about my ever-growing grocery bill, I wonder how it will all add up in the long run. I do love watching them inhale food and seeing their healthy appetites.

I’m sure if I had become the mother of two girls, I’d be loving that just as much. But not a day goes by that I’m not thankful for my two boys.

Elizabeth’s View: 10 Things I Love About Having Girls

I've Got Girls, She's Got Boys: 10 Things To Love About Both   www.herviewfromhome.comOurs is a house of estrogen. My husband carries on valiantly as the token male in the middle of our feminine frenzy: one tween girl, one teen girl, and me.

When you are a mom of only daughters and no sons, you get used to being asked when you’re going to try for a boy. I got so used to this, in fact, that I came up with a ready response: “Actually, we’re going to try for a goldfish instead.”

I love having daughters. For one thing, if I’m trying on a dress, and I’m not sure whether it makes me look stunning or like a candidate for a “What Not to Wear” reunion episode, I consult my girls, and they give me the unvarnished truth straight away.

I also love these other pleasures of having an all-girl roster:

They notice the cute. When my second daughter was born, a friend (mom of two boys, no girls) came by with a gift. She’d packaged it adorably, and she handed it to my older daughter to open on behalf of her freshly-minted sibling. Big sister took the package and immediately exclaimed, “What a cute gift bag!” My friend said, “Oh. My. Word. That is such a girl thing. My boys would never have noticed the bag.”

Hand-me-downs rock. We call it “shopping in the closet,” and it’s pretty much the best thing ever.

They do each other’s hair. I don’t do hair. It’s too much like crafting, which I also don’t do. But most I've Got Girls, She's Got Boys: 10 Things To Love About Both   www.herviewfromhome.commornings before school and most afternoons before dance, the Sisters Salon is in full swing around here. I contribute my limited talents by rounding up ever-elusive bobby pins. (My girls don’t call me “Sleuth Mom” for no reason.)

They watch movies with each other and with me. Finally, I have someone who will hunker down for my all-time favorite movie—Sense and Sensibility—without acting like they’re being tortured.

They’re neat, clean, and organized. My girls will sometimes spend their free time revamping their dresser drawers. Also, our toilet seats are always down. (Their father, while not a fan of the aforementioned Sense and Sensibility, did come to us well-trained in lavatory etiquette by his mother.)

I’ve never had to know about Thomas the Train, Legos, or Minecraft. Of course I know lots of girls are fans of these things. But mine aren’t. We have hair ties and “Dance Moms” instead.

I might get to be the mother-of-the-bride someday.

I understand their “stuff.” Shower gel that smells so good, it makes you want to eat your elbow. Tank tops. Cute polka-dot water bottles. EOS egg-shaped lip balm. I get these staples of girldom. Which is why I felt a little out of my element last year when I was staring down the football paraphernalia at Walmart. My girls needed black under-eye goo for a dance recital routine. (They were writing something on their arms, and it needed to come off easily.) I found the required item and was comforted by its familiar lipstick-esque dispenser. I was also really, really grateful to realize I’d never have to buy one of the other, er, “products” in that display. Ewww.

I understand their other “stuff.” Hormones and crying and mood swings, oh my. I know, sweetie, I know.

They’re built-in friends. I mean, yes, sometimes they treat each other like they’re living out War and Peace with all the war and none of the peace. But mostly I love to see my girls’ genuine love and concern and affection for each other. I think they just might be buying the mom wisdom I’ve preached their whole lives: “your friends will come and go, but your sister will always be your sister.” (See also, “YOU LOVE EACH OTHER! YOU DO! DON’T ARGUE WITH ME!”)

I’m completely crazy about these sweet girls of mine. God knew what He was doing when He made me a mom of only girls. (He’s wise and clever that way.) Sometimes, though, I do think about the baby we lost between our daughters in a miscarriage so early we couldn’t have found out the gender even if we’d wanted to. I have no way of knowing this, of course, but when I walk into heaven, if I’m greeted by a little guy who calls me “mom,” well, that will be so sweet, too.

About the author

Elizabeth Spencer

Elizabeth Spencer is a great sinner redeemed by a great Savior. She’s been married for 23 years to an exceedingly patient husband and is mom to two teenage daughters who make her look really good as a mother. She blogs at Guilty Chocoholic Mama and, if pressed to demonstrate a hidden talent, can stand on her head.

27 Comments

  • Enjoyed both perspectives, though I mostly relate to the girls’ side of things since, like Elizabeth, I have two of those myself! We also had a first-trimester miscarriage between our daughters, but I’ve somehow always thought that was a girl as well. (Our first daughter was stillborn, so that would make four girls – but it will be neat to meet that unknown babe in heaven!)

    • Oh, Tracey…another thing we have in common. But I’m so sorry for your losses, though I will delight to see you with, perhaps, a gaggle of girls in heaven! Thanks for being such a faithful encourager to me…you are a blessing.

  • I love it! We’ll see how things play out, but I’m particularly hoping for the “do each other’s hair” option, since I’ve only JUST mastered piggy-tails and I just don’t think that my skills will ever advance beyond that point.

    • Oh, Lisa, you know it! When my daughters decided they both wanted to go the long-hair route, I told them the same thing I told #1 the day she picked clarinet as her instrument when I had a background in flute, voice, and piano (notice none of these is clarinet): “you’re on your own, honey.” I’m pulling for ya! 😉

    • Aw, thank you, Stephanie! Even though I dwell in girl land, I thought Julie’s list rang SO true. It’s great to hear an “amen” from a mom who’s also living that life herself! 🙂 Thank you for taking time to read and comment!

  • Elizabeth, I love being a girl mom too. I still do hair from time to time, but when my older daughter started doing her own ballet buns on her own highly sensitive head, it was a red-letter day around here! I had to laugh about the lack of Legos thing, though. While older daughter requested a Vera Bradley dance bag for Christmas, younger daughter asked for a drone (both wishes were granted, by the way). 🙂

    • Well, hello, Lois…what a joy to hear from you today! And red-letter day is right about those ballet buns! My daughter spends hours winding them up and taking them out and redoing. Meanwhile, I just cook to fuel my dancers’ bodies. 😉 I LOVE the varied Christmas wishes of your girls…so glad both came true! Thanks for taking time to hop over here…blessings on you and your daughters!

  • I had to smile while reading about being a mom to boys. I have two boys (now grown) and I can totally agree with you. They treat me with love and kindness (most of the time) and they do what I say, which surprises a lot of people. I am blessed! Now I have two grandaughters so the tables have turned. 🙂

    • Aw, what a sweet story! It sounds like you can identify with both lists…first as mom, and now as grandma. 🙂 Truly, you are beautifully blessed. Thank you for stopping by and leaving your firsthand feedback!

  • I always say that God knew what He was doing when He gave me mostly boys. We have 4 boys and 1 girl. If hubby has all 4 boys and I have the 1 girl, we are even. 😉 I am so happy to be able to raise both genders for all of the reasons mentioned here!

    Elizabeth, you made me tear up a little. I often wonder if my one miscarriage would have been a girl. One day we will know!

    • Aw, Jamie, I’ll look forward to meeting your little one along with my own some day! And I’m glad both lists resonated with a mom who plays on both sides of the parenting field! Thank you so much for your faithful encouragement…you are a blessing.

  • A great post! It’s lovely to see the other side of it, I’m a mum of boys and I love it. Being the only girl I get looked after. Of course I do get picked on too (for being short!) but we’ll forget about that for now! 😉
    #ffbh

    • Morgan, I’ll bet your boys DO look after you so well when they aren’t picking on you. At least sometimes they can pick on each other? 😉 As for being “height challenged,” I feel your pain. I am 5′ 5″, but that puts me in no-woman’s land for clothes: too tall for petite, too short for normal. But I digress. Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂

      • Yep, 5′ 5″ here too! My trouble is my almost 12 year old son is only an inch shorter than me! My six year old is well on his way too! Yes, they do pick on each other occasionally too. 😉

    • Wow, Angela…you got the package deal! 🙂 How fabulous. You must be one busy mama, so special thanks to you for taking time to read Julie’s and my little lists! Blessings on you and your trio!

  • “My youngest will even pee outside the living room door while watching TV so he doesn’t have to take 20 steps to the bathroom and then wash his hands. What a life!” This is hysterical!!! My little one hasn’t reached this stage yet (we’re still potty training) but I bet he would if he could just because! #FFBH

  • What a fun post! As a mom of two girls, I could identify with “the house of estrogen” lol – and they’re still young. I’m a little nervous about the teen years. I loved that I hardly ever had to buy clothes for my kids. My mother-in-law has an eye for deals so she would buy for my oldest, which got handed down to my youngest. We saved a lot of money because of her!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Wishing you a lovely week.
    xoxo

    • Thank you, Jennifer, from down here on my little plot of estrogen land! 😉 And God bless those clothes-buying mothers-in-law. I’m so grateful to have one, too. As for the teen years, fear them not! They are mostly AWESOME. So many things to love, I promise. Among other joys, you might get to SHARE those clothes. Really, the whole gig is much for fabulous than frightful. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • As always…I laughed, I cried, I related – to both of you!! We have 3 boys and 2 girls, but the way the dice rolled, the girls are 14 years apart. They’re still pretty close, but my 2 middle boys are thick as thieves! I LOVE it! They, too, are tough-yet-tender, and how much I love watching their closeness as they grow into men… Yeah, parenthood can be tough sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade an ounce of either the estrogen OR the testosterone for all the world!

    • Aw, thank you so much, Pat! Love your voice of wisdom and experience from both camps! 🙂 Oh, the lists you can write. Oh, the lists you HAVE written (speaking of laughing, crying, and relating…). Thanks for taking time to pop over here, busy mama. You’re the best.

  • Boy mom here 🙂 I loved that both of you mentioned the fact that your kids are the best of friends 🙂 <3 And I'm stealing that "we're trying for a goldfish" line, ha!

    • Hi, boy mom! 🙂 And right? About our kids being friends? We made our lists entirely separately from one another, and I think I can speak for Julie, too, when I say I’m SO thankful that item made the cut on both! As for my goldfish line, steal away. I’d be honored. 😉