I was pregnant with my third child and we had just walked out the door of a shop that faced a busy parking lot. My 2-year-old twin boys, who never seemed to have an off button, scattered the second we hit the fresh air. It’s almost as if they instinctively knew that big, pregnant mommy could not run after them.

In a fraction of a second I saw one of the twins run into the parking lot.

Just before he got to the road he tripped and fell. The exact moment he fell a moving car passed by his little fingers as he lay there on the parking lot, still a little stunned not by the moving car, which he was oblivious to, but by the fact that his quick escape was thwarted by his own clumsy feet. 

During all of this, I did what any loving mother would do to keep my other one from also running into the parking lot; shove him to the ground (don’t worry, his diaper padded his little bum). He just looked at me stunned and then burst into tears.

I can just imagine his little mind thinking, “I can’t believe my mom just pushed me!” Ugh, I know, I felt bad, but not as bad as I’d feel if both of them got hit by a car. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up because of all the adrenaline running through my body. I gathered my boys, dusted them off, thanking God that all I had to see to was a couple little scrapes.

Every time we went into public with these rambunctious toddlers I dealt with these near-collision experiences. For their safety and my sanity I had to change my approach:

1.) Instead of STOP be specific: Every day someone was running away from me, not to be naughty but because of curiosity and whatever goes on in a toddler’s little mind. I’d yell STOP and they wouldn’t stop. Why? I figured out because STOP is a pretty vague word to a toddler. He’s thinking, “Stop what? Stop breathing, laughing, thinking, standing, sitting….” etc. Instead I started saying, “Stop your feet” or “Freeze like a statue.” That way they knew exactly what I wanted them to do.

2.) Make a game out of getting out of the car: Believe me, I know how much work it is to get toddlers out of a car, especially when they’re over strollers and want the freedom of walking on his/her own. (It was a sad day when I couldn’t contain them in a stroller anymore.) One always had to wait while I got the other out of the car and so I tried making standing in one place sound as fun and appealing as I could. If there were painted yellow or white lines to mark parking spaces I say: “Stick your feet on the line like glue. Oh, wow, look how sticky that is! Your feet are so stuck!” They think it’s so funny. If there aren’t lines I say, “The street is lava (or an ocean or quicksand)! Oh no, put your hand on the side of the van so you don’t float away!” It works every time and I still do this with my twins who are six and my daughter who is 3.

3.) Parking lot practice: My kids didn’t do all this at first, we had to practice. If I had time, I’d take them to an empty parking lot to practice standing on the lines or touching the van. If they chose to run, I’d put them back in the car seat and say, “Oh, no we’ve lost the privilege to stand out in the parking lot like a big girl/boy.” Every time they’d run off, I’d buckle them back in. It only took a few tries for them to get the point and get sick of being put back in the car.

You can use these simple phrases and adjust them to your situation where it’s easy for kids to run off. Like the bathrooms, for example, you could use the stall doors as something they need to be touching at all times. Or the shopping carts. Or, like me, now all my kiddos are mobile on two or three wheels using bikes and scooters, I yell “BRAKE!” if I need them to stop, still avoiding the vague word “STOP!”

Parking lot woes are no joke and can be incredibly unsafe and terrifying. My mom-motto is “If I can’t change my kids behavior, they’re probably not understanding what I’m asking of them, OR, I have to change my behavior in response to theirs.”

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Nicole Hastings

Nicole is a is a widowed mom to three children. With a background in journalism and a sudden need to “figure out what to do,” she turned to writing about her experience with a husband with cancer, caregiving and widowed parenting and overcoming the aloneness of all of the above. She believes the art of storytelling brings people out of the dark into the light together to share in joy, humor, suffering and pain in life. She hopes that by sharing her story with transparency and heart will bring others hope and empower them to share their own stories.
 
Facebook: @JustAMomNicoleHastings

This Time In the Passenger Seat is Precious

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver with parent in passenger seat

When you’re parenting preteens and teens, it sometimes feels like you are an unpaid Uber driver. It can be a thankless job. During busy seasons, I spend 80 percent of my evenings driving, parking, dropping off, picking up, sitting in traffic, running errands, waiting in drive-thru lines. I say things like buckle your seat belt, turn that music down a little bit, take your trash inside, stop yelling—we are in the car, keep your hands to yourself, don’t make me turn this car around, get your feet off the back of the seat, this car is not a trash can,...

Keep Reading

So God Made My Daughter a Wrestler

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young female wrestler wearing mouth guard and wrestling singlet

God made my girl a wrestler. Gosh, those are words I would never have thought I would say or be so insanely proud to share with you. But I am. I know with 100 percent certainty and overwhelming pride that God made my girl a wrestler. But it’s been a journey. Probably one that started in the spring of 2010 when I was pregnant with my first baby and having the 20-week anatomy ultrasound. I remember hearing the word “girl” and squealing. I was over the moon excited—all I could think about were hair bows and cute outfits. And so...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

You May Be a Big Brother, but You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother with young son, color photo

It seems like yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. Back then, we were new parents, clueless but full of love—a love that words can hardly explain. I can vividly recall holding you in my arms, rocking you in the cutest nursery, and singing sweet lullabies, just like yesterday. I can picture those times when you were teeny-tiny, doing tummy time, and how proud I was of you for lifting your head. And oh, the happiness on your face when “Baby Shark” played over and over—that song always made you smile! We made sure to capture your growth...

Keep Reading

“It Looks and Tastes Like Candy.” Mom Shares Warning about THC Gummies All Parents Need to Hear

In: Kids, Living, Teen
Hand holding bottle of THC gummies

What Aimee Larsen first thought was a stomach bug turned out to be something much more terrifying for her young son. Her 9-year-old woke up one day last week seeming “lethargic, barely able to stand or speak,” his mom shared in a Facebook post. At first, she assumed he had a virus, but something about his behavior just didn’t seem right. She called an ambulance and asked her older sons if their brother might have gotten into something, like cough syrup or another over-the-counter medicine. Their answer? “Yeah, THC gummies.” THC gummies are an edible form of cannabis that contain...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter as You Grow into Yourself

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Girl in hat and dress-up clothes, color photo

My daughter, I watched you stand in front of the mirror, turning your body left and right. Your skirt was too big and your top on backward. Your bright blue eyeshadow reached your eyebrows and bold red blush went up to your ears. You didn’t care. I watched you marvel at your body, feeling completely at ease in your skin. You turned and admired yourself with pride. You don’t see imperfections. You don’t see things you are lacking. You see goodness. You see strength. RELATED: Daughter, When You Look in the Mirror, This is What I Hope You See I’m...

Keep Reading

My Child with Special Needs Made His Own Way in His Own Time

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding child's hand walking across street

I want to tell you the story of a little boy who came to live with me when he was three years old. Some of you may find this story familiar in your own life. Your little boy or girl may have grown inside you and shares your DNA or maybe they came into your life much older than three. This little boy, this special child, my precious gift has special needs. Just five short years ago, he was a bit mean and angry, he said few understandable words, and there was a lot about this world he didn’t understand. Unless...

Keep Reading

Organized Sports Aren’t Everything

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young girl with Alpaca, color photo

Today I watched my little girl walk an alpaca. His name is Captain. Captain is her favorite. He’s my favorite too. I met his owner on Instagram of all places. She thought I was in college; I thought she was a middle-aged woman. Turns out, she is in high school, and I am a middle-aged woman. This random meeting led to a blessing. We call it “llama lessons.” We take llama lessons every other week. It’s an hour away on the cutest hobby farm. Our “teacher” is Flora, who boards her llamas at the alpaca farm. She wants to teach...

Keep Reading

I Had to Learn to Say “I’m Sorry” to My Kids

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Mom hugs tween daughter

My two oldest kiddos are at the front end of their teen years. I remember that time in my own life. I was loud, somewhat dramatic, I let my hormones control me, and I never—ever—apologized. This last part was because no one ever really taught me the value of apology or relationship repair. Now, I could do some parent blaming here but let’s be real, if you were a kid whose formative years were scattered between the late ’80s and early ’90s, did you get apologies from your parents? If so, count that blessing! Most parents were still living with...

Keep Reading

5 Things Your Child’s Kindergarten Teacher Wants You To Know

In: Kids, Motherhood
Child raising hand in kindergarten class

I am a teacher. I have committed my life to teaching children. Of course, before I began this career, I had visions of standing in front of a group of eager-eyed children and elaborating on history, science, and math lessons. I couldn’t wait to see the “lightbulb” moments when students finally understood a reading passage or wrote their first paper. And then I had my first day. Children are not cut out of a textbook (shocking, I know) but as a young 23-year-old, it knocked me right off my feet. I was thrown into the lion’s den, better known as...

Keep Reading