I’ve always had my issues with anxiety. I love the Zen life, and on the surface I may appear chill. Admittedly, I have come far. Well, I had…until I became a parent.

It’s humorous, really. Those ten months of incubating a precious miracle I may have raised my voice once. It was important to me to meditate every day, do yoga, talk softly, and put negative thoughts out of my head. It was quite brilliant, really, the state I was in throughout pregnancy. And then the baby arrived.

Within the first few hours we had a crash course in parenting. No one told us that babies could choke on their amniotic fluid. I thought after 30 hours of labor that stuff was long gone. But no. We put our precious little one in the cosleeper and saw him choking, turning nearly blue, and we had heart attacks. He was OK, and this sometimes happens, but a heads up would have been nice. J slept on my chest for the first month of his life because of that.

Now I’m not going to share all the things that can go wrong, because if you’re a parent, you may have already had them. I sit in the few quite moments yearning for peace and relaxation, instead thinking “is he still breathing?!”.

He’s nearly two and it’s still happening.

Before checkups I think, “Christ, I hope he doesn’t contract Ebola!” knowing good and well that it won’t happen, reciting over and over in my head, “most of the things you worry about never happen.” And thank my sweet bippy they don’t, and that we don’t know the things that are going to go wrong before they do. 

I wonder, “Is every other parent freaking out, too!? Is it because this is my first? Is it my anxiety”? And it’s probably a little bit of everything. And while me planning ways to avoid my child drowning in the neighbor’s pool in the middle of Winter may seem nuts, I know there are other parents out there freaking out just like me. Losing their minds because the kid ate edamame off the floor at the public library, ready for the first signs of SARS. Le sigh.

You are not alone, anxious one! 

There are a couple of things that have helped me that I thought I might share:

 

  • Dilute that coffee, yo!

Cut your scoop of coffee in half. Make it an au lait. Drink half a cup. We all need that sweet nectar of life to keep us going, but just dilute it. I half my scoop of grounds and drink half the cup in the morning and half after lunch (sweet pick me up!). Added bonus, you won’t sweat as much. You’re welcome.

 Just do it. We are so ridiculous sometimes. No, there is no way your 3 month-old is going to jump out of your arms, waltz to the nearest body of water, and jump in. And when they are able (before they are able), make sure you take precautions. Keep your eyes on your kid when there are threats around. Simples.

  • “Most of the things we worry about never happen”

It’s true. I have thought up some pretty crazy garbage in my head. Guess what, I can’t think of one that has happened. I even think of the times I was in compromised positions and it all worked out. Just keep your head on a swivel and WATCH. YOUR. KID. You’ll be fine.

  • Talk to someone.

I see a therapist and I don’t hide it. During transitions and difficult times on a bi-weekly basis, but in general every few months. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, especially when you’re a stay-at-home mom. You have a dialogue that no one hears (mine is a dialogue and not a monologue…normal?!?!) and it is important to talk to someone. Some things your partner hears enough, and you need someone to validate your feelings and help you sort through everything. Stigmas are so last century, and keep in mind you don’t have to have a mental illness to talk to someone.

And when you’re getting down on yourself for being an absolute basket case (Did I just cry through “Let It Go”!?), remember that you are normal, and more importantly, not alone. We all do inexplicable things that make no sense two days from now. Hell, an hour from now. Just don’t check my Google search history.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Brittany Cole

Not your average Southern Belle, Brittany is a native of Georgia living in South Florida. She attended Auburn University (WAR EAGLE!) where she received her Bachelors in Political Science and has a Masters in International Relations from The University of Oklahoma. Brittany has many passions in life, in addition to being a wife and mom. She loves all kitchen-based activities, traveling, being outdoors, reading, yoga, and dancing. When you cannot otherwise find her, check the local farmers market – she’s the one buying obscene amounts of kale and turnips. Britt lives every day by the Maya Angelou quote, “Do the best until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better”. Her mission in life is to raise a family of compassionate and empathetic humans while doing the best she can to make the world a more tolerant, beautiful place.

Welcome to Periods in Your 30s and 40s

In: Health, Humor
Welcome to Periods in Your 30s and 40s www.herviewfromhome.com

Do you remember that day in the fifth grade when the boys and girls were separated for the “Sexuality and Development” talk? Some nice old lady health teacher came into your room and gave you some straight talk about how the next few years were going to go for you. It was awkward and shocking and you knew your childhood would never be the same. When you hit your mid-thirties, there should be some kind of Part Two to that conversation. All the ladies need to be rounded up, lead into a dimly lit classroom that smells vaguely of pencil...

Keep Reading

How to Stay Married For (at Least) 10 Years

In: Humor, Relationships
How to Stay Married For (at Least) 10 years www.herviewfromhome.com

In July, my husband and I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary. We got married back in 2008 following my college graduation. I was only 22 at the time and him? Well, he was all good-looking at the prime age of 30. There were may vocal skeptics who chimed in, unasked of course, to share with us their belief that we would “never last” and that it would “never work”. To them, I say, “You were wrong! Na-na, na-na, boo-boo!” Just kidding, of course; I don’t talk like that. I am a respectable mother, not a four-year-old child and thank goodness...

Keep Reading

How to Put Your Children to Bed in 46 Easy Steps

In: Humor, Kids
How to Put Your Children to Bed in 46 Easy Steps www.herviewfromhome.com

It was time. It had to happen. We’d had a good run at pouring our children into bed at 11:30 p.m., sweaty, sticky, and exhausted from their head to their toes.  But bedtime had to get back to its (somewhat) regularly scheduled program.  When we had one kid, bedtime was a breeze.  Each night, we had a 10 step process. And the steps were simple. And very, very routine. 1. Toys away at 7:10 p.m. 2. Up the stairs at 7:15 p.m. 3. Change into pajamas 4. Brush teeth 5. Read two books 6. Say prayers 7. Light off 8....

Keep Reading

Welcome to the Dreaded Man Cold Season

In: Health, Humor
Welcome to the Dreaded Man Cold Season www.herviewfromhome.com

Your husband has a mere headache, but he automatically now believes that he is going to be a chronic sufferer of cluster migraines. Or, maybe he got a small splinter, but he now believes that he is, without probability, going to end up with a staph infection. And, well, that cough of his (cough, cough) is going to have him laid up in bed for the next two days because he is just feeling so terrible. Sound familiar? It is all too familiar to me. What am I talking about? How men are babies when they get sick. Yes, I said it. I...

Keep Reading

Wanted: Imperfect Friends

In: Humor, Relationships
Wanted: Imperfect Friends www.herviewfromhome.com

Is anyone else as sick of the facade as I am?  Because on social media, everyone seems to have their crap together. But I sure don’t.  Scrolling through my feeds leaves me feeling inadequate and lonely, desperately lonely.  I know social media is only the high points. I know there is always more going on behind the scenes that I don’t know about. But at the end of the day, I just feel like there’s no one who would want to be friends with little, imperfect, insignificant, me.  So, I’m placing an ad.  Wanted: Imperfect Friends A kind, but quirky,...

Keep Reading

51 Reasons a Mom Might Be Late

In: Humor, Motherhood
51 Reasons a Mom Might Be Late www.herviewfromhome.com

I’ve got a question for all you moms out there: Have you ever been late? Yeah, me neither. Just kidding! We’ve all been there. We have an appointment, a meeting, an event, or just a playdate, and we want to be on time. In fact, it often looks and feels like we’re going to be on time. We’ve planned ahead. We have everything in order, and we are ready to head out the door. But then, without fail, the inevitable happens. Actually, it seems that a good number of inevitables happen. And we’re running late, again. Being on time is...

Keep Reading

5 Ways Boy Moms Always Ruin Our Fun

In: Humor, Kids
5 Ways Boy Moms Always Ruin Our Fun www.herviewfromhome.com

We know Mom loves us, don’t worry about that . . . but sometimes it seems like she’s just making up a whole pile of rules to ruin our fun. For instance, we’ll be in the middle of a huge independent project and she’ll come along, usually shriek, and be like, “You can’t use water guns to fill up the bathtub! And why are you shooting water into the toilet? Ewwwwww.” And just like that, we have to pack it all up and return to a clean orderly activity. A controlled activity. A zero fun activity. We’re not even sure...

Keep Reading

Should Grandparents Get Paid to Babysit?

In: Humor, Journal
Should Grandparents Get Paid to Babysit? www.herviewfromhome.com

While swaying in side-by-side hammocks, my daughter paid me the ultimate compliment: “It gives me enormous peace of mind while I’m working, to know you’re watching my son and that he’s in the most capable hands.” Then 10 seconds later while I was still orbiting in happy mode, she insulted me by offering to PAY me for this glorious privilege. We engaged in a little tit for tat tug of war with no clear winner. And the debate rages on, at least in our household. How about yours? To pay or not to pay the loving grandparents who bless us...

Keep Reading

Kids Today Will Never Know the Joy of a 90s Summer

In: Humor

So you want a good old fashioned 90s summer, huh? I don’t blame you. The 90s rocked! (Literally, thanks to Kurt Cobain and Eddie Vedder.) I’m not going to lie—I take slight offense to the use of “old fashioned” and “90s” in the same sentence, as I’m pretty sure the 90s were like 10 years ago, but I’ll still help you out. If you’re really doing this though, you’ll need to ditch some of your modern conveniences, like your phone. I know, I know, but it’s a requirement. You may bring a beeper or clunky flip-phone, but no internet allowed...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is Not An Uber

In: Humor, Kids
Dear Kids, This Is Not An Uber www.herviewfromhome.com

Paid automotive transportation is pretty simple. You hop in the backseat of a cab, share the address where you are going and aren’t required to speak any longer until you arrive at your destination and pay the driver. The same primary rules apply to taking an Uber or Lyft.  The unwritten rules have been in place for some time. Your trade-off for taking paid transportation is a ride in the backseat, where you don’t have control over the music, the temperature of the car, the route the driver takes or how fast the trip takes, not even the amount of...

Keep Reading