Don’t get me wrong. I’m definitely a praying woman.
I bet I send up a thousand prayers of gratitude a day.
Get up to coffee already made.
Thank You, Jesus. (I would also thank my husband but he’s usually already out the door.)
Three healthy kids.
Thank You, Lord for these beautiful, healthy children.
Toddler taking an extra long nap.
I also don’t hesitate to send up genuine heartfelt prayers for others.
I’m on the church email list and I take a moment to pray for each prayer request in my inbox. I don’t keep scrolling when a casual acquaintance asks for prayers on Facebook. If I hear a siren I send up a prayer. It’s just how I operate. A big chunk of my internal dialogue is directed at the Lord. I believe in the power of prayer. I’ve experienced the hand of God in my life and heard his voice in my heart.
But talking with a friend a while back, I realized that somehow, even though I grew up in the church, can quote scripture, and my advice often includes, “Pray about it,” I haven’t learned to lean on the Lord for my own needs. I realized even when I thought I was praying for myself, I was actually just praying to be of better use to other people.
Please, Lord, make me the wife and mother they need.
I don’t know if it’s a Mom-Thing, or a crisis of faith, or both, but somewhere along the way I got the idea I should be able to sort out my own problems, meet my own goals, and provide all my own needs without any help – divine or otherwise. Sound familiar?
In addition to believing in the back of my mind that I ought to be one hundred percent self-sufficient, I got the idea I should always be useful to others. If there is a volunteer list, I will be on it at some point. I must have my fingers in the help-pot. I love saving the day. Talk about a Messiah Complex.
Instead of a Personal Savior, I’ve been treating the Lord like an associate, or some handyman I was confident referring my friends and family to.
Oh you need your life fixed? I know a guy who does fabulous work! Let me get you His card.
(Pats self on back for being on the spot with a solution.)
Sin of Pride, much?
So right now I’m working on stepping down as my own personal Savior, and putting God back in charge. I’m pretty sure he can do a better job than I thought I was doing.
Will you join me?
I urge you to take a minute and think of at least one area of your life you need help with. Not that you need help helping others with, but a real need that is yours alone, and pray about it.
Maybe you are struggling with self-doubt.
Maybe you are worried about how to pay the bills.
Maybe you just need some extra will-power at the dinner table.
Whatever gets you started on the road of leaning on the Rock, instead of trying to be the Rock.
Don’t get me wrong, praying for other people is wonderful, but don’t let God become someone who is for everyone but you.
Okay, maybe just one more prayer that isn’t for me.
Thank you for waking me up to the fact that I was trying to do your job. I pray that each person reading this will come to know you personally and trust you implicitly. We tend to get caught up in our own abilities and forget where they came from. Please help to keep us leaning on you instead of our own understanding.
I ask these things in Jesus’ name,