Cancer Grief Inspiration

Search For The Answer – Your Life Depends On It

Search For The Answer - Your Life Depends On It www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Tracie Cornell

I felt terrible for eight months. It started with bronchitis that would not go away even after a round of a steroid.  Then came the fancy air purifier that my husband ordered for me, yet my cough and scratchy throat lingered.  I recall skiing with the girls and having to stop and catch my breath, which was unlike me even though I’ve been asthmatic all my life.  By April I was feeling very lethargic, depressed and tired.  Part of me thought I was losing my mind!  

At a follow-up appointment, my doctor suggested I try an anti-depressant and wanted me to do yet another round of an antibiotic and then sent me on my way.  I was pissed off!  Did you not hear me?  I don’t feel better!  I sat in that crowded, loud waiting room for 45 minutes and had actual face time with my doctor for about 10 minutes only to leave with more questions.

I sat in the parking lot for a few minutes trying to convince myself that maybe I WAS depressed.  After all, it certainly explained how I was feeling lately.  All the “schtuff” I had going on at the time ran through my mind; worry about my career, the fact that I hadn’t been able to find a job in two years and starting my own business.  It absolutely made sense to me that I could be depressed, so maybe I should just fill the script and move on?   While this all made some sense and it seemed to easily explain the past few months, it left me feeling deep down that there was something else going on with me.

I did some research about functional medicine and received a referral to a local holistic medicine center near me so I decided to make an appointment.  At this point, I had absolutely nothing to lose and my husband and I thought a second opinion would be a good idea since I wasn’t getting any better. 

That appointment was absolutely eye-opening for me.  First of all, to spend one full hour with a doctor who asked me a million questions and then actually listened to me as I described what had been happening with me for the past seven months felt so great.  Heck, at that point, even if she had done nothing else, I felt validated and satisfied because someone finally listened to me. 

A LOT of bloodwork and a CT scan later, I went in to review my CT scan results.  The doctor came in and said “your lungs look clear.”  I was so relieved.  I grabbed my purse and started thinking about what I was going to pick up from the grocery store on my way home, when those calm thoughts were interrupted with, “but the CT scan showed a large nodule on your thyroid.”  Wait, what?  Thyroid?  We’ve never talked about my thyroid – how can this be? 

Ultrasound led to biopsy which then led to hearing these words over the phone from the doctors office, “your growth is cancerous and we need to schedule you for surgery.”

Cancer. 

I don’t think there is anyway to prepare to hear that word.  Every single emotion flooded over me at that moment.  I was standing in my daughter’s room starring at her picture as I heard the news.  I ducked in there quickly when the phone rang so my girls couldn’t hear the conversation.  I’m so thankful I ended up in her cute little pink room to hear this news because it immediately made me aware of why I am going to tackle this HEAD ON and I am going to be absolutely FINE.  I have two little people who depend on me and a wonderful husband that took 42 years to find! 

So for that reason… I’m going to be fine! 

Hell, I’m going to be BETTER than fine!  Tracie 2.0 will be revealed in October!   

I share all of this because I absolutely feel with 100% certainty that I am so fortunate to have discovered this early because I listed to my gut instincts and searched for the answers I needed.  YOU are the best advocate for your own health so do your research, listen to your gut and don’t ever settle until you have the right answers.  Your health and life depends on it! 

About the author

Tracie Cornell

Tracie is a writer, blogger and coach. A native of Buffalo NY, she lives there with her husband and two tween daughters. After a 20-year career in banking she decided to pursue her passion for writing, coaching and sharing her story of divorce, job loss, financial struggles, and a cancer diagnosis all with the goal of connecting with other women to help them through all of life transitions.
When she is not writing, blogging, and carpooling, she can be found at yoga, on a bike trail, or sitting in a local cafe sipping a latte while on her laptop completing her life coaching certification. She loves dinners out with her husband and friends and is constantly thinking of where their next vacation will be.
Along with being a regular feature writer on HER VIEW FROM HOME – a lifestyle magazine that connects your view to the rest of the world, she is also a contributor on the Huffington Post Lifestyle and Divorce sections.

Tracie has an essay, “Getting Back to Me” in the anthology “EAT PRAY LOVE MADE ME DO IT”, the follow-up book to Elizabeth Gilberts’s bestselling novel where she describes how she found the strength to start taking care of herself as her marriage was falling apart. The book is available now on Amazon and wherever books are sold.
Find her at tracielynncornell.com where you can also find how to connect with her on social media.

1 Comment