I didn’t anticipate such a sharp contrast in my mind set during my second pregnancy versus my first. Chalk it up to experience, exhaustion or just that five years have gone by. Whatever the case may be, here are seven  differences I’m unexpectedly expecting this time round.

1. I’m 27 weeks along. No wait, I’m not sure.

With my first pregnancy I knew every single detail that was occurring each week in the womb. I tracked and calculated. I Googled and anticipated. This time around, I have to actively think about what week, and even what trimester, I’m in. I’m grateful for prenatal appointments just so I can remember what I’m supposed to do next. Chalk this one up to one of the benefits of having a preschooler—I’m too busy!

2. Less clutter —hooray!

I could have opened my own baby store the first time round. From my baby shower to just shopping every spare minute for items I “needed,” I had everything and anything related to babies. This time I think diapers, wipes, clean clothes, and a car seat should do the trick.

3. Don’t worry about me.

This time round I don’t worry about me. I know, to a certain extent, what a new baby and the toddler years will bring. I worry much more about my daughter and the impact this will have on her day to day life. I know sleepless nights and that first joyful smile directed at me are coming my way, but I don’t know what a new little person will mean to her.

4. Can Grandma handle two?

I cried and cried the very first time I left my daughter with her grandmother. I ran a few errands as fast as possible thinking I was a bad mother for leaving her and wondering what she was doing every possible second. Now all I can think is—can grandma handle two kids and how often will she be available?

5. Plan, what plan?

I am a planner and like to be in control. Well that certainly doesn’t work with a colicky newborn. I found this out the hard way and struggled to let go of a certain amount of control when my daughter first arrived and dominated the world with piercing cries and little to no sleep. I think this time round  I’ll wave my white flag and work around the baby until we found our rhythm instead of fighting an uphill battle.

6. Yes, please load my dishwasher.

Recruiting help for the first few weeks after my second child is born has become my life’s mission as my due date approaches. Thinking back to my first pregnancy and few weeks postpartum I thought I had to do it all —loose the baby weight, keep a clean house, send hand-made thank you notes, and of course never let anyone see I was struggling. I know now it takes a village and that loading the dishwasher can certainly wait.

7. Embrace the miracle.

I tend to always be thinking ahead and awaiting the next big thing. I want to take time to embrace this miracle and savor all of it—the good and the bad. Not rushing to think about anything else except these little kicks and watching my daughter grow more and more interested as the time comes to bring home our bundle of joy.