Inspiration Journal

Stop It! Don’t Play That Comparison Game.

Stop It! Don't Play That Comparison Game. www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Leslie Means

I get caught up in the numbers.  Not mathematical numbers, my brain has never liked those, but numbers of views, likes, clicks and statistics.  My day to day mood will change on the numbers.  On a high number day, my husband will come home and find a clean house, with his wife cooking supper or maybe even baking while sipping on a glass of wine, with a classic rock song playing in the background and an evening full of attention – on him and those two little girls we brought into this world.

On a bad number day, my husband will come home and find me with a beer, sitting on the couch, watching a depressing national news story.  If I cook or bake, it will likely end up burned (especially if it’s cookies) and he’ll end up cooking dinner.  The house will be a mess and so will I.  No shower that day – who has time to shower when the numbers are low?  I’ll be on edge, frustrated, and I might even complain a little.  Just a little. 

I shouldn’t admit this to you fine folks, but I do it anyway.  Because I’m definitely not perfect and I have a feeling you aren’t either.

Numbers to me mean how many people are on this website that day.  Numbers equal views which equal the amount of payment I make for the month.  I depend on high number days to keep my business running and to pay our writers and to help feed my growing girls who have tiny bodies and yet manage to gobble up more food than I imagined.

Do you have those days?  Please tell me you do.  When you’re worried about your job or your husband’s job or the stock market.  It goes farther than that, of course.  Maybe the worries at work plummet into your social life and you start worrying about something you once found so trivial – social media.  You wonder why Kathy got more likes on her family photo she posted on Facebook?  Or why Bob seems to have so many friends and backyard barbecues and late night poker games yet Bob never invites you.

Does this happen to you?  Gosh I hope so, not that I want you to be a jealous or sad or angry person, I just don’t want to be alone on this. 

I don’t think I am. 

I have a note on my desk that reads, “I won’t let you get me down, Internet Clown,” followed by the date.  Clearly I was having a low number day on that one.

I have another note that says, “Team Tortoise.”  Yes, the Tortoise is my mascot.   That came on a high number day, when I came to my right mind and realized that my business and this day to day life isn’t about who can finish the race the fastest.  No.  It’s about the ones who can conquer the low days, thrive on the high days and still manage to stay steady along the way.  It’s about the ones who can recognize their weaknesses and their jealously and yet, deep down they know, they really know that their worth and value and confidence and love doesn’t come from popularity.  Our value in this life is much deeper than that.  

We’re all amazing and we’re all loved.  It’s pretty much that simple.  It’s up to us to believe it.  Some days are easier and others, well, those days make the good ones that much sweeter.

All of this to say, if you’re there, if you have low days, if you get caught up in the trivial details of this life, I’m right there with ya.  And on those days, you’re welcome to come over to my house, sit on my couch and enjoy a burned chocolate chip cookie with me.  Virtually, of course.  My house will be too much of a disaster for me to let you in. 

About the author

Leslie Means

Leslie is the co-founder and owner of Her View From Home.com. She is also a former news anchor, published children’s book author, weekly columnist, and has several published short stories as well.

She is married to a very patient man. Together they have two pretty fantastic little girls ages 8 and 6 and one little dude born March 2017!

When she’s not sharing too much personal information online and in the newspaper – you’ll find Leslie somewhere in Nebraska hanging out with family and friends. There’s also a 75% chance at any given time, you’ll spot her in the aisles at Target.

12 Comments

  • We all go there. I am impressed you attempt to cook. You are a great editor/writer/fill in the blank. I am learning on days where I doubt STAY OFF THE WEB. You are right girl, it is not who is the greatest, fastest, etc. It is who stays steady even when they are not feeling so great!

  • Ummm… All of the yes! I get caught up in the number game way too much. “How did they score that awesome review!?” “Why can’t I get that many views?” “Will I ever make money?!” I’m glad to know I’m not alone. Thanks for keeping it real. 🙂

  • I’m so impressed with the number of writing jobs you balance. Your words here resonate with me deeply! I wonder if part of it isn’t that self promotion is hard, so much harder than promoting or lifting up others. Love that you are challenging that self doubt.

  • Yes, the numbers game! It is so hard when you have a bad day. For me I look at it as I need to work harder, promote more or change something about the next post I write. I can find it if I step back for a day or two sometimes the numbers come back up and everything is right again !

  • I have read this a few times over the past couple of days because it is just the pep talk I needed to hear this week. This business of pouring your heart out there and hoping it will reach the masses is tough — it can be maddening, really. Thank you so much for this perspective. I am rooting for Her View!

  • Leslie, I just love this and can relate on so many levels!! It’s such a battle we face, us bloggers, we rely so heavily on our numbers and can often forget why we even started blogging in the first place. Thanks for being so open and transparent. Know that you are not alone!