Kids Motherhood

Ten Things Girl Moms Have to Look Forward To (Really!)

Ten Things Girl Moms Have to Look Forward To (Really!) www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Elizabeth Spencer

I am the mom of two daughters and no sons. 

And when you are the mom of daughters and no sons, here are two things you hear a lot when they are young:

#1: “So, when are you going to try for a boy?”

#2: “They’re cute now, but just wait until they get to be teenagers.”

To #1, I usually responded, “Actually, we’re not going to try for a boy. We’re going to try for a goldfish instead.”

To #2, I usually made some sort of conciliatory “I know” noises while my mind frantically whipped up all possible worst-case scenarios lying in wait for a mom of girls who would eventually hit puberty.

I didn’t particularly look forward to my girls’ older years. But now that I’m camped in them, I realize something: I should have.

I have one 13-year-old daughter and one 18-year-old daughter, and it is fabulous.

Yes, there is drama. Yes, there are hormones. Yes, there is crying. But enough about me. (Just kidding. Okay, not really.)

And while it is true that I’d be able to get that fancy farmhouse sink I want for my kitchen if I got paid psychotherapist’s fees for the emotional rehab I do after school every day, I’ve discovered that having an older daughter is a joy-ride in the best possible way. 

If you are the mom of a young daughter, here’s what you have to look forward to…for real.

  1. When you are trying on a mail-order dress the color of a tangerine and you aren’t sure if it makes you look stunning or like an orange sack, you summon your daughter for an assessment. She takes one look and says, “It makes you look like an orange sack.” So then you know.
  2. You have a handy reference guide for the meaning of such phrases as “on fleek.” (Spot on? Hits the mark? I think. But maybe not.)
  3. When you shop with your daughter, you actually shop. Often in the same department. For clothes you might share.
  4. When you are out shopping with your daughter, you may see, for instance, a “performance-gear” hoodie in a gorgeous aqua color that would boost your workout efficacy by at least 50 percent. You comment (within your daughter’s hearing) “I want that” but do not buy it because it is not on sale and you don’t HAVE to have it. The next time your husband takes your daughter out to lunch, she tells him, “We have to go to the store and buy mom a birthday gift. She wants a hoodie. I know exactly which one.”
  5. Instead of endless preschool-era rounds of Princess Memory, et al, you get to play games you would actually choose on your own and which do not make your head explode.
  6. You no longer host playdates in your home; now you facilitate hang-outs at the mall. Your daughter and her friends “shop” while you lounge somewhere in their vicinity and drink a fancy coffee drink and read a magazine and do not make eye contact and do not show any sign you know them. All of which they are fine with and, in fact, insist on.
  7. You have a chick-in-residence with whom you can watch flicks your husband won’t touch.
  8.  Your tween/teen daughter may someday make cookies while you are working on something else. Then she might say, “Don’t come into the kitchen yet. I want to clean up.” At which point you have cookies AND a clean kitchen and are glad you did not give up on said child when she was in her “terrible 2s” stage.
  9. As a counterpoint to brutally honest but useful fashion advice (see #1, above), sometimes your adolescent daughter will look you over when you are dressed to go somewhere other than the grocery store and will say, “Mom! I love that outfit! You definitely don’t need to go on What Not to Wear.” Which, you are well aware, is as good as it gets in the mom-compliment department.
  10. Your daughter may put up a social media post about how she loved, say, spending the day at the beach with you and how she will remember it for a long time. And by the time you have finished reading the post, all your years of motherhood will have been 100% worth it.

I’m very aware I’m nowhere near “done” raising my girls. Anything could happen. And the beach/movie/mall days when everyone loves and even likes each other are balanced by an equal number of days when we would all trade each other just for faster internet service.

I also know so many moms have genuinely agonizing stories about raising their older daughters, and my heart truly breaks for them.

But you’re supposed to write what you know, and this is what I know so far: my answer to the “just wait until they get to be teenagers” comment should have been, “I’m looking forward to it.”

About the author

Elizabeth Spencer

Elizabeth Spencer is a great sinner redeemed by a great Savior. She’s been married for 23 years to an exceedingly patient husband and is mom to two teenage daughters who make her look really good as a mother. She blogs at Guilty Chocoholic Mama and, if pressed to demonstrate a hidden talent, can stand on her head.

10 Comments

  • Love every part of this, Elizabeth!!! This might be the best part – “Yes, there is drama. Yes, there are hormones. Yes, there is crying. But enough about me. (Just kidding. Okay, not really.)” Ha ha!!!

    We have all ten of these things happening here, especially the fashion advice and the chick-flick movies and the mall shopping.

    But number ten brings tears to my eyes. My 16-year-old recently posted the most beautiful, well-written (in her mother’s prejudiced eyes) post to Instagram about God’s love. And it brought me to tears to think that she’s actually been listening all these years, and processing the things we’ve tried to teach her, and appears to be making that faith her own.

    Like you said, this parenting gig is far from over, but I’m so thankful that God gives us these little glimpses into the neat people our kids will, with His help, become one day. Gives us the strength to power through on the days we’d trade each other for that faster Internet service!!!

    • Oh, my heart! Just thinking about that post by your daughter makes my heart happy on your behalf. Of all the things I truly love about having older daughters, what you so beautifully articulated–the chance to see them “making that faith [their] own”–is THE BEST. Even better than faster internet service. 😉 Bless you, my treasured fellow mom-of-girls!

  • Elizabeth, your words speak straight to my soul!
    I have three daughters – ages, 3, 2 and 11-months (+ 1 baby on the way). I love the “Girl Mom” club, but have been sternly warned the teen years will be difficult with all girls. I’ve garnered much sympathy from others (I’d rather they send coffee and wine – HA!).
    Thank you for your wisdom and encouragement in this piece. You’ve given me much to look forward to in the years to come.

    • Aw, thank you so much, Shelley! I know those “warnings” well. And yes, mothering a teenage girl can be challenging…it reminds me of, you know, MOTHERHOOD IN GENERAL! 😉 Here’s some virtual coffee and wine to you, along with my excitement for you and all you have to look forward to…really!

  • I loved the things to look forward to here. I was my mom’s only daughter, and I loved that we had these special things to share one on one with each other. Now, I look forward to these things with my only daughter. Girl power 🙂

    • Thank you so much, Traci! How sweet it must be for you to both look back on those memories with your mom and to look forward to making your own memories with your daughter! I have these joys both ways myself, and they are precious treasures. Girl power it is! 🙂

  • This is so awesome! I am experiencing some of this now with my 10 year old! I have a chick in residence who binge watches Once Upon a Time with me, my husband tried, just couldn’t quite get the concept. You are so right, many moms are running into roadblocks while raising their girls. I want to spread the good news I’ve experienced so far, yes, I know we’ve got a ways to go but I am holding strong that our relationship will only grow from here.

    • Aw, thank you SO much! I love that testimony about your tween chick-in-residence! 😉 And I love that you are building memories and connections now while looking forward to making more memories and strengthening your connection in the future! Motherhood is hard at any stage because it matters so much, but I believe you have lots to look forward to in the “then” even as you are savoring the “now.” Happy binge-watching, mama! 😉 As it turns out, I was just upstairs watching a chick flick with my teens while my husband is watching college basketball downstairs! Now we’re coming together for a family feel-good movie and breadsticks. All good! 🙂

  • So so so so good! My daughter is nine and we’re in a transition period. She’s not a little kid but she’s not a teenager so it is tricky with the whole parenting thing right now. This post made this mama smile 🙂