Grief Mental Health/Wellness

Thank You For Fighting

Thank You For Fighting www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Bailey Koch

Hello, you. Yes, you. I can see you’re struggling; it’s not hard to tell. Your eyes tell a story of pain, hardships, and uncertainty. I can see you don’t know what to do, how to fight, or with whom to tell the truth.  I can see you don’t know who to trust. Will they judge you for not being strong enough to take this on by yourself? I can see you don’t feel safe inside your own mind right now. Am I making the right choices? I can see you are confused and feeling lost.

I get it. There are so many times in life when we just don’t understand the plan. So even though I don’t know exactly what you are dealing with, I do know what it feels like to believe you are lost and alone. I know what it feels like to not know whether to turn left, right, or continue walking straight forward. Maybe I should turn around? So many choices.

Thank You For Fighting   www.herviewfromhome.com

But my letter to you doesn’t come directly from the person suffering, it comes from the person watching. Maybe you are sad, not just having a bad day, but really sad. Maybe your brain isn’t letting you “snap out of it.”  Maybe your relationships are not what you believed they would be when you said “I do,” “Welcome to this world,” or even just “Hello.”  

Maybe you feel trapped inside your own mind or body. Maybe you are having terrifying thoughts and you don’t understand where they are coming from, why, or what to listen to. Maybe you have been hurt…really hurt. Maybe you feel amazing one minute and horrible the next and your own mind doesn’t make sense to you. Maybe you can’t get past the past. Maybe your feelings don’t match up with the people you so desperately want them to. Maybe you lost someone you love. Maybe you can’t seem to get enough of something you hate. Maybe there are a lot of maybes in your life.

I see you. Do you know why? Because I’m your friend. I’m your husband. I’m your wife. I’m your mother, your father, your brother, your sister, your pastor, your counselor, your doctor, your cashier, your housekeeper, your grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew… I’m right here. And I’m begging you, often silently, to open up to me. You see, I don’t know how to help you. Heck, I don’t know how to help me. Do any of us? I don’t know what to say or do to make you feel better. I don’t know if I can “fix” you, or even if it’s my place to try. I don’t know how to be what you need me to be.

But I do know that I can’t help you if you won’t let me. So for now, I just want to say, “Thank you for fighting.”

I know you don’t feel loved right now. I know you feel alone. But I want you to know that you aren’t alone and you are loved. I’m right here. And I want to be right here until God decides it is time for us to say goodbye. I’m not ready to let you go. But I don’t know how to keep you here with me both emotionally and physically. So I need you to help me help you.

Thank You For Fighting   www.herviewfromhome.com

Please let me in. Please open your eyes and see the good in your life. I am right here. God put it on my heart to talk to you. Have you seen Him trying to show you He’s walking beside you? Now He is using me to get your attention; and I’m not going to ignore Him. I can’t, not if it means losing you.

So I’ll do whatever you need me to. But remember that right now, all I know how to say is, “Thank you for fighting.”

I’ll sit with you while you cry. I’ll talk to you on the phone and not say a word if all you need is to talk out loud. I’ll fight everything in me that wants to fix. I’ll pray with you, even if I am uncomfortable with it. We can learn how to talk to God together. Maybe God is trying to help me too. Maybe there is more to life that I don’t yet understand and you will help me learn it. I’ll drive you to someone who can help you more. I’ll take you to a hospital, a counselor, church, a person – anywhere you need or want. As long as it means you are on the way to finding hope and healing…I’m in. Just tell me what you need from me.

I’m here. You’re not alone. Thank you for fighting.

I know it is hard to see the hope in your life right now. But I know you can find it, and I pray you know that I am right here to help you. I have been through hard times too. I don’t always say the right thing, do the right thing, or help in the right way. But please know that I am trying and I will continue to. I love you, everything about you.

Thank you for fighting.

About the author

Bailey Koch

The story of Bailey Koch finding her love for and strength in writing begins with near tragedy. In February of 2012, Bailey’s husband was nearly killed in a head-on collision with a semi truck. As a method of getting information to friends and family, Bailey began a Caring Bridge page. Immediately, others began commenting that Bailey should be a writer. “Yeah right!” Bailey thought. “There’s no way I could do that!”

“Never Alone: A Husband and Wife’s Journey with Depression and Faith” was published in March 2015 and is written by Jeremy and Bailey Koch. It details their struggles with severe depression and the journey toward understanding their purpose, accepting help, and finding faith. High school sweethearts, Jeremy and Bailey know their lives were meant for each other and to help others by being honest about their story. They are proud parents of two beautiful, and often rambunctious, boys. Hudson and Asher are 10 and 7 years old. You can learn more about their journey and even purchase the eBook or paperback copy of “Never Alone” at www.jeremyandbailey.com.

Jeremy and Bailey found their purpose in helping others find hope when suffering from a disability, especially unseen illnesses like depression. Jeremy, who suffers from suicidal thoughts, continues to learn to live, not simply stay alive, through hope from God and the acceptance of help. Bailey is his biggest supporter and left her teaching job, after being in public education for seven years, to focus on what the two know to be God’s plan. Bailey now works as a Lecturer in Teacher Education at the University of Nebraska at Kearney and will graduate with her doctoral degree in Special Education from Walden University sometime in 2018. Jeremy and Bailey co-own and operate Natural Escapes, a landscaping and greenhouse services business that also includes a paint your own pottery and canvas family art studio. The passion to advocate for those who can’t easily advocate for themselves is strong. Bailey has a message of hope and acceptance for all; she has plans to completely demolish the societal stigma attached to mental illness.