I was seven and a half months pregnant with my son, Brooks, when my husband suffered a tragic accident. The accident all but killed him; it left him minimally conscious (basically comatose) and over the course of many, many months he slipped from being minimally conscious to persistently vegetative. He wasn’t on life support, he held his own, but eventually the trauma was too much to bear and he passed away in 2010.

Brooks never knew his father. He never saw his smile; he never heard his laugh; he never felt his embrace. And he never knew anything different. That was the reality he was exposed to at a very young age. As hard as this was for me, I often wondered if the Lord was sheltering him. Is a memory less painful when it belongs to someone else? Would Brooks be aware of the gaping void in his life or would he even realize there was a void because the void had always been present?

Thankfully, we never had to find out the answers to those questions. The Lord had graciously been preparing another man to fill the role of both husband and father. When Patrick came into our lives he knew our situation. He understood what I had lost and he was patient with me; he saw a young boy experiencing life without a dad, and he wanted to be that for him.

From the time we took our vows, Patrick and Brooks have been inseparable. Not only did Patrick say, “I do,” but he also said, “I will.” I will be a role model for this young boy. I will teach him about the Lord and show him the Father’s love through actions in raising him. I will be his dad, and when the time is right, I will tell him about his father. I will love him. I will provide for him. I will discipline him and I will encourage him. I will teach him how to hit a baseball and I will let him crawl in my lap when he wants to cuddle. I will care for him as if he’s my own.

Brooks is Patrick’s son and Patrick is Brooks’ dad.

             The Heart of a Father   www.herviewfromhome.com    The Heart of a Father   www.herviewfromhome.com

When Patrick adopted Brooks, the three of us went before the judge. The judge was aware of our situation; he knew that Brooks’ father had passed away and that Patrick is the only dad Brooks has known. He was very sensitive to this and the questions he asked Brooks were really sweet. He looked at Brooks and said, “Is this your dad?” Brooks said, “Yes.” Then he said, “He’s a good dad?” And Brooks broke into the biggest smile and said, “Yes!” And then he ended his questioning to Brooks by saying, “And is he going to take you for ice cream tonight?” Brooks smiled even bigger and again answered, “Yes!”

Then the judge looked at Patrick and said, “Is this your son?” Patrick answered, “Yes.” “You’re going to give him an inheritance?” Again Patrick answered, “Yes.” “You’re going to pay for his schooling?” Patrick said, “Yes.” “And you’re going to buy him a car when he turns sixteen?” Patrick again answered, “Yes.” At this point I think I heard a whispered, “Yessssssss!!!” from Brooks as well.

While the judge was confirming the fact that Patrick’s intent was to provide for Brooks, I was struck by the first question asked of him: You’re going to give him an inheritance?

It wasn’t even a question. It was a statement stated in the voice of a question. It was as if the judge was simply implying what happens when someone is adopted and brought into a family but had to do it in such a way that Patrick would confirm this to be the case, in which he did.

For some reason this question wouldn’t leave my mind. You’re going to give him an inheritance? I wondered, “Lord, what is the significance here? What do You want me to see?”

And then I saw it.

I saw the most beautiful parallel. I saw a man with the heart of the Father. I saw someone who loved completely and unconditionally. I saw this man take a child under his wing, wanting nothing more than to teach, impart wisdom and to provide. I saw a man who made it his habit to meet the child’s every need – he fed him when he was hungry, he comforted him when he was sad and he held him when he was scared. And then he took it one step further. He went before a judge to say, “This child is mine. He belongs to me. What I have will be given to him.” And all Brooks had to do was say, “Yes.”

In order for Brooks to be adopted by Patrick, a lot of hoops had to be jumped through. Paperwork had to be completed, forms had to be filed, documents had to be verified and reports had to be made. After many months of this process, our hearing was scheduled and we stood before the judge. The long of it has already been stated, but the short of it is this: Brooks was pursued by Patrick. Patrick wanted Brooks to have access to all that is his so he made his petition known before the judge and his petition was granted. Brooks will receive his inheritance because of his father’s love.

Isn’t this the way it works for all of us? Jesus is pursuing us with the heart of the Father. His desire is to meet our every need, providing everything for us, yet asking for nothing in return except saying, “yes,” to Him. He has gone before us and made His petition known when He died for us on the cross. When He sees us He says, “This is My child. He belongs to Me. What I have will be given to him.” And our inheritance? We will inherit the Kingdom of God and live forever with Him and all of those who have gone before us.

What a glorious day that will be.

[adrotate banner=”105″]

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Judy Terrell

Judy was born and raised in Dallas, Texas and currently lives in Seattle, Washington with her husband, son and twin girls.

3 Things We Learned While Waiting For Our Adopted Child

In: Adoption
3 Things We Learned While Waiting For Our Adopted Child www.herviewfromhome.com

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage. Remember that old nursery rhyme? I can still hear it playing in my head. Growing up, I had always assumed that would be my story. The love and marriage part certainly happened for me in an amazing, storybook ending kind of way. However, the baby in the baby carriage didn’t come as quickly for my husband and me. As a few years passed, we began to feel a little restless and disheartened. However, God opened up His perfect plan for our family by leading us to...

Keep Reading

I Chose Adoption For My Baby, But I Didn’t Let Go

In: Adoption
I Chose Adoption For My Baby, But I didn't Let Go www.herviewfromhome.com

  I am often asked, when people find out I am a birth mother, “Why did you decide on adoption? Didn’t you want her?” In the tidy nutshell version of my response it was the logistical factors of being pregnant at just 16-years-old that was my why. Being a junior in high school when I saw those two pink lines in October of 2004, I still needed to graduate, plus I wanted to attend college. I did not have a job to support us. In fact, I did not have my driver’s license or even the few dollars it took...

Keep Reading

Dear Mama Reading This Right Now, You Are Amazing

In: Adoption, Child Loss, Miscarriage, Motherhood
Dear Mama Reading This Right Now, You Are Amazing www.herviewfromhome.com

To the one with healthy children in your lap, YOU are a great mom. Whether you work full-time or stay at home, you are amazing and deserve to be celebrated every day, but especially today. You sacrificed your body and your own well-being over and over again and I know you don’t regret any of it. You are enough and you are appreciated even when you don’t feel it. To the one holding a child someone else carried inside of her body, YOU are a great mom. Whether you faced infertility, surrogacy, chose to adopt, or have biological and adopted children,...

Keep Reading

4 Things a Birth Mom Wants Adoptive Families To Know

In: Adoption, Journal
4 Things a Birth Mom Wants Adoptive Families To Know www.herviewfromhome.com

The minutes on the hospital clock dwindled as I swaddled my infant daughter one last time before she was permanently placed in the arms of her adoptive family. In those final moments, I thought my heart might shatter into a thousand slivers without any hope of being mended. I was broken. Scarred. Devastated. When I left the hospital without my baby, it felt like someone was pounding on my chest with both fists and I couldn’t catch my breath. The emptiness that followed was inconceivable. A piece of me, my daughter, was gone. I couldn’t comprehend the magnitude of my...

Keep Reading

No Matter Life’s Season, God Provides What We Need

In: Adoption, Faith
No Matter Life's Season, God Provides What We Need www.herviewfromhome.com

When my husband and I adopted our older daughter Lilly 15 years ago, she was nine-months-old and weighed about 17 pounds. That might not seem like much, but she was a chunk of a little girl—so much so that people we met in elevators and restaurants in China often mistook her for a two-year-old. I had worked on my cardiovascular fitness in the months leading up to our adoption trip, and my regular runs on the treadmill prepared me to traverse the Great Wall with relative ease. My upper body strength, however, was a different story entirely. My arms and...

Keep Reading

Acknowledging the Loss in Adoption

In: Adoption
Acknowledging the Loss in Adoption www.herviewfromhome.com

  “Don’t do it! Adoption is the worst!” His voice echoed through my entire body, his words hitting every unprepared bone, and I clutched the full glass of ice water ready to plunge it in his direction. There were hundreds of people in the darkened bar room, on dates mostly, sitting in the crowd enjoying the comedy show. My insides twisted and lurched, I heard nothing but the reverberations of laughter, and my mind kept envisioning myself walking over to him and punching his face in. When the comedian began working adoption into her show, my body began tingling and...

Keep Reading

Adoption Is Love

In: Adoption, Journal
Adoption Is Love www.herviewfromhome.com

  I pull around in the car line and scan the group of kids for my daughter. Usually, I can find her easily, chatting it up with her friends as she waits for me to pick her up from school. Today, though, I don’t see her. I look again and I finally spot her. She is slumped on the curb, her head in her hands and her eyes downcast. My momma radar instantly goes off as I watch her slowly get up and drag her feet to the car and I can tell that something is wrong. She slides into...

Keep Reading

The Ache While We Wait to Adopt

In: Adoption, Faith
The Ache While We Wait to Adopt www.herviewfromhome.com

  There’s a persistent ache, but sometimes I can ignore it. I can turn up the volume of what’s around me and drown it out for a bit. I play hostess and invite the noise to come in: come fill up my heart, come fill up this empty nursery, come fill up this planner. I’ve got two kids, and they are experts at noise, so my days are full of it, and it works. The noise narcotizes the ache, making it manageable, day by noisy day.  In my former life as a teacher, I used to make my students write...

Keep Reading

How Being Adopted Made My Husband a Better Father

In: Adoption, Journal
How Being Adopted Made My Husband a Better Father www.herviewfromhome.com

My husband’s earliest memories of his adoptive mother are as blurry as the black and white photos he has taped inside a leather-bound family album. He recalls the gentle hands that tucked him into bed each night and the smell of her lavender scented soap, but these memories are intertwined with the last and most painful of all: sitting on the cold hospital steps, muffled whispers in the hallway, and the tight grip of his adoptive father’s hand as they made their way back to the car without his mother. Death was an abstract concept that he was unable to...

Keep Reading

Adoption Has Made Me a Better Mama

In: Adoption, Journal
Adoption Has Made Me a Better Mama www.herviewfromhome.com

I remember etching our family plans into a napkin at our two-year anniversary dinner. We were eating at Rio in Sisters, Oregon and I couldn’t wait to get back to the little cabin we had rented to watch Harry Potter and dream about babies. Weird combo? Probably. First we would conceive and carry a miracle baby in my actual womb. Then after a bit of time had passed, after we got “the easy one” birthed, we would enter into the adoption world. I think back to my barely 20-year-old self and think about how naive she was—I still only have...

Keep Reading