Humor Kids

The Many Personalities of a Soccer Mom

The Many Personalities of a Soccer Mom www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Patricia Geurds

Fall is in the air. As you set up your spot on the sideline this soccer season please take note of all the different personalities that may appear once that whistle blows.  I have been a soccer mom for ten years and I have seen them all and at one time or another behaved like each one.  There is no shame in our game.  It is just how mamas handle the pressure of youth soccer!

There is the “Momerre.” This is the mom who can be heard calling fouls and plays from the sideline.  She has memorized all the rules and can recite each one verbatim.  Usually by the end of the game she will be seen arguing with the referee or another parent from the opposing team.  On that rare occasion  she may be escorted off the field with a yellow card, only to rally and be back at the next week’s game.

There is the “Eternal Optimist.”  This is the mom who will cheer every play, even the bad ones.  She is always happy and clapping.  Her team may be down 6 to 0 with two minutes to go and she still insists you have a shot at winning the game.  We love her spirit.

There is the “Tanning mom.”  This is the mom who uses the soccer hour to enhance her skin tone.  She comes equipped with her reclining lawn chair, a bottle of Evian, ear buds, and her shades.  She lays peacefully throughout the game, only moving to sip her water and occasionally look up at the game. Shine on Mama!

There is the “Air Kicker.”  This is the mom who pretends she is kicking the ball like the players on the field are doing.  She will run up and down the sideline chasing her child as they are playing shouting, “kick the ball, now pass the ball.”   She may even leap into the air to simulate a head ball.  She is always entertaining to watch.

There is the “Fashion Plate.”  This mom will always be decked out head to toe.  Often seen wearing her new white kicks, nicely fitted yoga pants with matching tank top, and a properly placed sun visor and ray bans.  She will strut her stuff on the grass like a model on the runway.

It is unlikely you will ever see her in the same outfit twice.

There is the “Gossip Mom.”  She uses the hour to catch up on everyone else’s business.  She smiles widely and greets each parent.  After a casual conversation she will begin asking questions about you and your family, followed by her own story about her family and how wonderful they are.  Her remarks usually make you feel like an underachiever .  Once she has completed her mission she will move on to her next prey.  Often times she will circle back to inform you on what the other families have said.  This one I just nod and smile at.

Finally there is the “Refreshment Mom.”  She comes fully stocked with water to hydrate the team, snacks to keep everyone nourished, and a shade tent for everyone to stay cool underneath.  She will come equipped with a first aid kit,  sunblock and bug spray for emergency applications.  She usually organizes the team parties and is happy to schedule all things pertaining to soccer, while wearing her teams colors.  She is always prepared and ready for action.  Hey mom, we appreciate those perfectly sliced oranges at halftime.

No matter which mom you are we love you for being on the sidelines cheering on our players!

Game on!

About the author

Patricia Geurds

My name is Patricia Geurds. I am a mother of five children ages thirteen, eleven, eight, five, and 22 months. The experiences I share with my children inspire my writing. Writing is my hobby, but also a therapeutic process on the challenging days that often accompanies motherhood.

The memories we make are very special to me and I am excited to share them. Before becoming a mom, I was a second grade school teacher.

I have self published the children’s story, “Bedtime for Percy.” I look forward to writing more children’s books and developing products to make learning more meaningful for young children.

1 Comment