The everyday pressures of parenting are a fluid and plentiful topic. These kids leave us with no shortage of subject material, and we have our complaints, balanced with our worthy parenting brags, there are both heartwarming tales and nightmarish stories, all because parenthood is every emotion you’ve ever felt all rolled into one. And no one understands this better than your fellow parents. But thanks to Facebook and Instagram and Pintrest and everything social media, we are on full display. It’s now easier than ever to compare yourself to those around you to see how you are measuring up. Social media will misguide you this way. For every four self-deprecating (and honest) “Boy am I sucking at this parenting thing today” posts or pictures, there is one Pintrest-worthy-pic that will undo it all and drag you into a place where suddenly you feel like you are failing at life. 

Facebook and Pintrest really knows how to kick you when you are down.

Now that we are full swing into back-to-school, the latest threat for a parenting-fail? Lunches.  I will tell you, when I was in the throes of babies and toddlers and had a list a mile long of things I was worrying about (yes I threw away all of my daughter’s plastic bottles and bought glass ones, because BPA) that I didn’t see this one coming. With our school aged kids, not only do we have to worry about the worthiness and extent of our PTA involvement, getting our kids to school on time, sports practices, music lessons (we need these kids well-rounded!), checking homework and stressing whether we are able to be a Room Parent (because we may not be able to attend a meeting at 10AM on a Wednesday), now we are judged by the lunches that we send in with them. Food is a basic necessity, it should be simple, right? Sandwich, snack, fruit, easy-peasy? 

Nope. 
Thanks for nothing Bento boxes! Lunch expectations now are that they are to be culinary works of art. Compartments that must be filled with elaborate creations, all the colors of the rainbow, no less. No longer are cute baby carrots going to make the cut (besides the fact that we’ve learned that they are not actual carrots and are compressed and soaked in potentially carcinogenic fluid), these veggies need to be shaved and shaped, in rosettes if you please, hummus isn’t edible without a smiley face. And make their sandwich into a butterfly or a truck or don’t-even-freaken-bother.

How did we get here? Is there no limit to what us parent will do to make our to-do lists longer, our lives more complicated? Do we not already have enough going on that we now have to design our kids lunches? Why do we place insurmountable pressure on ourselves when we already have enough to manage? Now we have to worry about filling these lunch-box compartments with creative snacks in shapes and colors? Are parents masochists? Could that be it? I find myself wondering.

The real problem? I’m right there with them. My daughter, my creative and artsy-craftsy daughter, my visionary where our trash is her treasure, who will make something out of nothing and is the reason that empty Amazon boxes (her muse!) have to be snuck out of the house into the recycle bin, loves herself a butterfly sandwich. And I admit, I indulge her…I put hummus and cucumbers in her compartments for lunch, and use cranberries as eyes in her yogurt, because she loves it. We cut bananas this morning and used mini chocolate chips to make a face, and it absolutely delighted her. For me, it meant that I left for work this AM without time to put on my make up (thank goodness I’m one of the first ones to the office) and throwing something for breakfast in my bag and taking it to-go. Because banana faces. And thank goodness I have my son who is on the other end of the spectrum and couldn’t careless for a shaped sandwich. It would confuse him, I can almost hear him now “Mom, where did the rest of my sandwich go? Why does my yogurt have cranberries in it?’. Not that we have time in the morning for double sets of banana faces, so his desire for simplicity works for all of us. So for him, my sweet boy, lunches are indeed simpler.

I think he is on to something….that sometimes we need to simplify. Stop adding to the to-list, stop letting Pinterest evoke a visceral “UGH” reaction and automatic feelings of failure (is it just me?), and stop letting a Facebook posts of other parents that are having a good day, or a good moment, make us feel like we are not getting it right. Because maybe their Tuesday looked stellar, but I bet you that their Thursday sucked big time. We all know the deal. Our successes ebb and flow. That’s the reality, and that’s OK. We are hard enough on ourselves…we hold ourselves to impossible standards that we let social media define standards for which it has no claim, and little reality, and we need to restructure that a bit. Let your feelings about how the day went be defined by how hard your kiddo hugged you goodnight (we like tight squeezes in my house), and that the kids went to bed clean (this is subjective, of course) and fed and being told that they are loved. That’s success! And that none of those things have anything to do with how fancy or how plain or how simple their lunches looked. Their lunches and those little compartments are not a measure of our love.

So, fellow parents, don’t let the bento boxes get the best of you. A child’s lunch should feed them, fill them, get them through their day so that they can focus on learning…And come home to you in time to complain wildly about what you’ve made them for dinner.

But, at least this meal can go on a plate.    

Photo credit: anotherlunch.com via Visualhunt.com / CC BY

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Lori E. Angiel

Lori resides in the suburbia of Western New York with her husband, their 2 children and sweet rescue pup, George Bailey (because, it’s a wonderful life, after all). When not working, she is doing the soccer mom thing on the sidelines of a soccer field, running the local trails and streets (year round in the most obnoxious reflective gear available) with her running (a/k/a support) group while they train for what is always known as the "last race we are ever doing", or shopping at TJ Maxx or Target.  Her favorite things include her training runs, skiing with her family and yoga.  She is also very devoted to drinking wine and spending as much time as possible with her friends and family.  Whenever the opportunity presents itself, you will find her sitting on a beach (applying copious amounts of sunscreen on her kiddos)....all the while writing about the little things in life that occur to her along the way.

Our Kids Need Us as Much as We Need Them

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sitting on bench with dog nearby, color photo

During a moment of sadness last week, my lively and joyful toddler voluntarily sat with me on the couch, holding hands and snuggling for a good hour. This brought comfort and happiness to the situation. At that moment, I realized sometimes our kids need us, sometimes we need them, and sometimes we need each other at the same time. Kids need us. From the moment they enter the world, infants express their needs through tiny (or loud) cries. Toddlers need lots of cuddling as their brains try to comprehend black, white, and all the colors of the expanding world around...

Keep Reading

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More You

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young girl smiling together at home

He reached for my hand and then looked up. His sweet smile and lingering gaze flooded my weary heart with much-needed peace. “Thank you for taking me to the library, Mommy! It’s like we’re on a date! I like it when it’s just the two of us.” We entered the library, hand in hand, and headed toward the LEGO table. As I began gathering books nearby, I was surprised to feel my son’s arms around me. He gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss with an “I love you, Mommy” before returning to his LEGO—three separate times. My typically...

Keep Reading

This Time In the Passenger Seat is Precious

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver with parent in passenger seat

When you’re parenting preteens and teens, it sometimes feels like you are an unpaid Uber driver. It can be a thankless job. During busy seasons, I spend 80 percent of my evenings driving, parking, dropping off, picking up, sitting in traffic, running errands, waiting in drive-thru lines. I say things like buckle your seat belt, turn that music down a little bit, take your trash inside, stop yelling—we are in the car, keep your hands to yourself, don’t make me turn this car around, get your feet off the back of the seat, this car is not a trash can,...

Keep Reading

So God Made My Daughter a Wrestler

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young female wrestler wearing mouth guard and wrestling singlet

God made my girl a wrestler. Gosh, those are words I would never have thought I would say or be so insanely proud to share with you. But I am. I know with 100 percent certainty and overwhelming pride that God made my girl a wrestler. But it’s been a journey. Probably one that started in the spring of 2010 when I was pregnant with my first baby and having the 20-week anatomy ultrasound. I remember hearing the word “girl” and squealing. I was over the moon excited—all I could think about were hair bows and cute outfits. And so...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

You May Be a Big Brother, but You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother with young son, color photo

It seems like yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. Back then, we were new parents, clueless but full of love—a love that words can hardly explain. I can vividly recall holding you in my arms, rocking you in the cutest nursery, and singing sweet lullabies, just like yesterday. I can picture those times when you were teeny-tiny, doing tummy time, and how proud I was of you for lifting your head. And oh, the happiness on your face when “Baby Shark” played over and over—that song always made you smile! We made sure to capture your growth...

Keep Reading

“It Looks and Tastes Like Candy.” Mom Shares Warning about THC Gummies All Parents Need to Hear

In: Kids, Living, Teen
Hand holding bottle of THC gummies

What Aimee Larsen first thought was a stomach bug turned out to be something much more terrifying for her young son. Her 9-year-old woke up one day last week seeming “lethargic, barely able to stand or speak,” his mom shared in a Facebook post. At first, she assumed he had a virus, but something about his behavior just didn’t seem right. She called an ambulance and asked her older sons if their brother might have gotten into something, like cough syrup or another over-the-counter medicine. Their answer? “Yeah, THC gummies.” THC gummies are an edible form of cannabis that contain...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter as You Grow into Yourself

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Girl in hat and dress-up clothes, color photo

My daughter, I watched you stand in front of the mirror, turning your body left and right. Your skirt was too big and your top on backward. Your bright blue eyeshadow reached your eyebrows and bold red blush went up to your ears. You didn’t care. I watched you marvel at your body, feeling completely at ease in your skin. You turned and admired yourself with pride. You don’t see imperfections. You don’t see things you are lacking. You see goodness. You see strength. RELATED: Daughter, When You Look in the Mirror, This is What I Hope You See I’m...

Keep Reading

My Child with Special Needs Made His Own Way in His Own Time

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding child's hand walking across street

I want to tell you the story of a little boy who came to live with me when he was three years old. Some of you may find this story familiar in your own life. Your little boy or girl may have grown inside you and shares your DNA or maybe they came into your life much older than three. This little boy, this special child, my precious gift has special needs. Just five short years ago, he was a bit mean and angry, he said few understandable words, and there was a lot about this world he didn’t understand. Unless...

Keep Reading

Organized Sports Aren’t Everything

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young girl with Alpaca, color photo

Today I watched my little girl walk an alpaca. His name is Captain. Captain is her favorite. He’s my favorite too. I met his owner on Instagram of all places. She thought I was in college; I thought she was a middle-aged woman. Turns out, she is in high school, and I am a middle-aged woman. This random meeting led to a blessing. We call it “llama lessons.” We take llama lessons every other week. It’s an hour away on the cutest hobby farm. Our “teacher” is Flora, who boards her llamas at the alpaca farm. She wants to teach...

Keep Reading