Marriage can be hard. Balancing careers, kids, extended family, finances, and running a household make life chaotic and sometimes really stressful. Having a great marriage takes work. But the good news is that there are really only 3 ingredients to make a marriage great.

If your marriage used to be hot but now feels more like meh, chances are you need to focus on one of the ingredients in the recipe below.

Here is the simple recipe for a great marriage: 

1. Your Spouse.

Great news! If you are married, you are 1/3 of the way there! Simple enough, right?

2. Desire. 

If you want a great marriage, you must have the desire to make it work. You can make all the excuses in the world, but if you don’t have the desire to have a great marriage, it’s not going to happen. You have to want a great marriage. No one else is going to do it for you! 

3. Time.

I believe in the core of my soul that if you want your marriage relationship to be loving, committed, and intimate, both the husband and wife need to make each other a priority. 

Trust me, with a family of 7, sometimes just thinking about a date night wears me out. However, with the noise of 7 people, the dishes, laundry, and homework it is so important to have a date night! 

Dates are a chance to escape the regular “home noise” and to spend time focusing on each other, discussing goals, what’s happening in your careers, and other important issues you are facing. It’s also a time for fun! Having a date night gives us some time to focus on these things and just spend some enjoyable, intentional time together without the kids, telephone calls, and work demands.

I schedule almost all of our dates (actually, our sitter does but I was the initiator of date night). We have a college student come out once a week and she picks the night that works best for her. This has been a win-win for all of us. She has a steady income and we have a weekly date night. When we do need a specific night we let her know. Usually she can work it into her schedule, but if not we call in help from Grandma or a back up sitter. 

When was the last time you worked on building up your husband (it doesn’t have to be hard or take a long time to do it). When was the last time someone told you something really nice? It felt good, didn’t it? Giving compliments, saying thank you, and being kind and loving go a long way in making your marriage great. Truly listening to him when he’s telling you something makes him feel good, too!

Finally, it’s important to give your man time in the bedroom. (You know, give your man something to turn off the TV for!)  Sometimes when it seems like there is no time, is when you need to make this a priority! 

Do you have all the ingredients you need to have a great marriage? If now, which ingredient do you need more of?