Humor Journal Relationships

Things I Learned About Marriage And Loving My Husband From My Dog.

The Bitch that Saved My Marriage; Things I learned about marriage and loving my husband from my dog. www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Sharon Schaefer

Even if you don’t need a nap, I do.

You talk enough for the both of us.

Feed me the best way you know how, because I like dirt.

I love you so much because you taught me what true love is.

Sometimes I need to be alone, but I always need to know you are there.

You can never pet me enough.

If I mess up, trust me that I am sorry, but that doesn’t mean I will not do it again.

Please don’t make me wear ridiculous outfits.

When you speak to me nicely, I wag my tail for a reason.

Yes I touch myself. It’s an instinct.

If you patiently teach me how, I will try hard to learn.

Yes, I’m hairy and my ears aren’t perfect but I know you think I’m gorgeous. Thank you.

I really like your underwear, especially the kind that rides up your butt crack.

When we sleep together, I will want to snuggle, snore loudly and with a paw in your face. Don’t wake me I’m comfortable like that.

About the author

Sharon Schaefer

Sharon Schaefer is a classically trained chef with more than 18 years professional experience in catering, fine dining, culinary education and school nutrition services. She is a graduate of The Culinary Institute of America.

During most of her childhood her family practiced healthy eating habits stemming from a macrobiotic diet. Her parents were also investors in a small town health food store. Since childhood she was on a quest to make healthy food taste good and has turned that focus on great tasting food that kids want to eat. She found her passion and inspiration for feeding children healthy meals when she became a mother in 2004.

Sharon Schaefer is married and is the mother of 2 boys. She works full time in a local progressive school system feeding children from pre-K through high school. She is also very active in her community and is found regularly volunteering her time and talents.