Dear little ones,
Today waves of sadness hit me, seeing you grow into boys instead of babies. I miss those baby snuggles and baby arms around my neck. But then I see you run to each other and play tag and my heart smiles. My soul is comforted knowing you have each other. No matter what happens to me, you have each other. You have a built-in companion, a buddy to wrestle, a friend to dig for worms, to build forts and to get in trouble with. As you grow up, you have someone to talk to about girls, to complain about mom and dad, to go fishing and to help you buy your first car. I don’t need to be your best friend; you have each other.
This whole time, I’ve thought I was enough for you. But today I realized I was wrong. You need each other, maybe even more than you need me. Lord willing, you will have each other longer than you’ll have me. And you’ll need each other in a big way when I’m gone. You, my younger son, need your big brother’s sensitive and loving spirit and you, my older son, need your little brother’s passionate and stubborn exuberance. Draw on each other’s strengths and help each other with your weaknesses. And as much as I adore you and want to be everything you need, I know that I can’t be. You need your best friend.
Today I watched you discover your need for each other. I watched you, my older son, yell your little brother’s name as he came toward you screaming his name over and over until he noticed you. Then I watched you jump off the swing to run toward him, arms open wide. I watched his face light up as he saw you. I saw his little feet speed up as he raced toward your waiting arms. Then I watched you hug the biggest hug, smiling like your heart would burst. I saw you hold each other for a few more moments than a normal hug, your arms needing each other’s presence. I saw you swirl around and laugh, enjoying being together. Then I watched as you ran off together to play, reaching for each other’s hands, not wanting to lose contact even for a second. I saw the younger one fall and instead of reaching for me, he reached for you, his older brother. I saw the older one climb faster, and the younger one try to keep up. I saw all the other kids fade away, as you two loved each other fiercely. You became best friends.
My sweet boys, don’t ever stop being best friends. You’ll need each other when you’re weary. Life is hard, it’ll get harder. But together, life is better; it’s sweeter; it’s easier.
Those fights you get in every day? Let it go. Forgive quickly. You need his forgiveness just as much as he needs yours.
Hug more, push less. He needs your embrace, and you need his shoulder to cry on.
Keep playing together. Crash those cars and airplanes, attack the bad guys together. Remember, you’re on the same team. You always will be.
Those trials coming your way? Attack them together, just like your Hulk and your Iron Man beat up Darth Vader and The Joker today.
Remember the other day when you never wanted to leave each other? Don’t forget that feeling of loyalty. You are each other’s best friend.
Be each others biggest fan. Remember when your little brother learned to ride a bike and you told him you knew he could do it? Keep telling him he can do big things. He needs your encouragement.
Remember when your big brother was scared of the monsters in his room and you told him he was safe? Keep reminding him God will protect him. He needs your steady faith.
Remember when you got in trouble and I put you both on time-out, and you comforted each other? Keep being sensitive to each other’s pain. You’ll need each other’s wisdom.
Remember when your big brothers left you out but you two decided to make up your own game? Keep having fun together. You’ll need someone to be completely yourself with, to be crazy and silly with.
Today, waves of sadness hit me, but then an ocean of joy flooded my soul. Seeing you, my little ones, fully loved by one another knowing I don’t have to be all you need. I feel confident your friendship will weather many storms together and beat many monsters together. My little ones, you are not alone. You have your best friend.
Love,
Mommy
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