Adoption Kids Motherhood

To My Kids’ Biological Mothers: Thank You Will Never Be Enough

Written by Alissa Kay

And just like that, it’s already May. Time for another Mother’s Day. I know it can be a difficult day for many to celebrate. Maybe they’re missing mom, or the one who made them mom, or maybe they long to be mom.

I always hoped to be a mom someday. And I’m one of those blessed women who get to be mom. My journey to motherhood wasn’t always easy. There were some days I wasn’t sure that it would ever happen. At a fairly young age, I learned that having biological kids wouldn’t be a good option for me. But that didn’t bother me. I was on board with adoption before I had even met my now husband.

Fast forward several years and we now have three beautiful children through domestic infant adoption. I get to be mom. I get to be celebrated on Mother’s Day. I get showered with hugs and kisses, not just on Mother’s Day, but every day. Every day I watch my children in awe and I’m truly amazed that I get to be a mom. Their mom. It’s pretty much the best thing ever.

But there’s a part of me that’s a little bit broken. If I get to raise these children as my own, it means someone else isn’t. There’s a lot of things in life that I question and don’t have the answers to. I don’t know why my kids were created and brought into this world by another mom and yet, they are mine. Our children are definitely not prizes to be won, but somehow it feels like I’m on the winning end. And I shouldn’t be. But for whatever reason, I get to be mom and so I will cherish it and be the best mom that I can be.

While I bask in the joy that is motherhood, I won’t stop remembering the moms who came before me. The moms who gave my kids life. The moms whose choices ultimately made me a mom. As we approach Mother’s Day, I think about these women a lot. At first glance, they might not look like a mom especially without their child in tow, but they absolutely are. They gave birth and they love their babies. It was a nearly impossible, gut-wrenching decision that they made. They did what they thought was best. It wasn’t easy. But really, being a mom isn’t easy.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms out there whether it’s by biology, adoption, foster care or just being like a mom to someone you love. To those missing their moms and those missing their babies, we mourn with you. To those longing to be mom, we hope your day comes soon!

To the three moms who made me a mom… thank you will never be enough. We know you fought for your babies, we know you love them, and we know you’re doing your best and that it’s not always easy. But we know you’re amazing women who deserve to be celebrated today and every day, so happy Mother’s Day to all of us!

About the author

Alissa Kay

Alissa was born and raised in the Midwest and currently calls Iowa home. She’s living out her dreams as a stay home mom & wife. Alissa has a 7-year-old son and 2 daughters ( 4 and 2!), all through adoption. For fun, she enjoys taking pictures of her kids. Too bad they don’t find it as amusing!

1 Comment

  • How beautiful! What a great way to thank about those mothers who could not keep their children!