Hey girl, thanks for flipping me off in the Starbucks drive-thru today.
I get it, you’re super important and under-caffeinated. I like how your front bumper tried to kiss mine as we played chicken coming from two different directions. Thing is, I’m gonna pretend you told me I’m number one.
Listen, I’ve got 4 boys and zero tolerance. And I come to fancy coffee houses about 3 times a year so forgive me for not knowing that you should get your coffee 24 seconds before I do.
Today is a good day and I won’t let you wreck it. I’ve got Kohl’s cash, kids in school, and a mocha coming my way.
So I’m going to apologize to Jesus for bad thoughts I had about you as I smiled and waved at you.
And I’m probably being passive aggressive in doing so, but I’m gonna be one of those people who pays for your much-needed venti latte with whip.
You’re welcome and have a nice day.