August 20, 2012. A day I will never forget. The day my perspective changed.
We had only known we were expecting our first little one for a week. But as any mother knows, there is a love that is hard to describe from the moment you find out about your little one. We were over the moon excited! A week later our world changed.
I remember being at a friend’s house the night before making funnel cakes for dinner. (I know, real healthy!) I started to feel funny. I started having slight cramps. I shrugged it off and kept a smile on my face. No one really knew at this point and I didn’t want to ruin the fun. By the time we left the house I knew something was wrong, I was spotting by then and the cramps were more noticeable. I remember looking at my husband and just telling him that something wasn’t right. We prayed and prayed and tried to get as much sleep as possible. The plan was to call the doctor in the morning.
We tried to keep business as usual that day until we found out what the doctor’s office said. We headed to work and kept routine. The doctor’s office wanted blood work because it was still too early for an ultrasound. Going in under these circumstances is such a somber experience compared to the joy of your first prenatal appointment. I was still cramping and spotting at this point, but nothing else had changed. It was all just a waiting game.
I remember sitting in the waiting room and having this sweet nurse call my name. I followed her to a back room where she already had the blood work kit set up and asked me to sit on the table. I will never forget her. She explained everything to me in the sweetest way possible and even tried to comfort me with the other possibilities of what could be happening. At that point she looked me in the eyes and just said, “But you know.” All I could do was nod my head yes. She just came over and hugged me as I cried. When she drew the blood she needed, she packed everything up and told me she would see me again on a happier note. Shortly after leaving the office, I had the miscarriage of my first baby.
Before this time, I had no clue that 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage. I just thought it was one of those rare occurrences you saw on movies. It’s such a taboo subject at times. Our stories and testimonies need to be heard for others going through there difficult times. No one is alone in this!
Oh, and that amazing nurse. Almost a full year later, I head blood work done because we found out we were expecting our daughter. She called me back and right before she drew my blood she said, “I knew you’d be back.”