Easter is definitely one of those holidays that is more fun to celebrate with little kiddos. I’m sure you envisioned your kids skipping around in their adorable Easter outfits. Little boys with bowties and girls in fancy white dresses. Children skipping around, searching the impeccably manicured yard for their hidden eggs. Shrieking in glee when they find an egg, always taking turns on who gets to collect the treasure.

Now, if you already have kids, you know the festivities of Easter do not go down this way.

If you’re not aware, let me break it down for you…

1. The anticipation. This occurs the week of Easter. When your kids hear the mention of the upcoming holiday, they become just about as relentless as if it were Christmas. Once you tell them at some point you are dyeing Easter eggs, its game over. For example, I told my kids on Monday we would dye eggs at some point this week. Between now and Friday they will have asked me approximately 586 times when exactly, we will be dyeing eggs.

2. Adorable outfits. These are advertised all over before the big spring event. Dress the young boys in handsome little sport jackets and bowties. The girls will play merrily in their adorable, frilly, pastel dresses. However, the second you put these pricey, “why do they make these for kids” outfits on your children, they will proceed to do one of the following:
   1. jump in a mud puddle
   2. step in dog poop
   3. wipe Cheetos on themselves
   4. spill their Kool-Aid
   5. crap their pants

And, if you are really lucky, they will do all of the above for you!

3. Dyeing the eggs. Finally, the fun is here! Your children can stop pestering you. You’ve pinned all the best ideas for dyeing eggs and you are ready to go. You’ve laid down newspaper, set out the cups, dressed the kids in their paint clothes…….5 minutes in and you’re already regretting this activity. The kids are fighting over the egg holder, who has more stickers to decorate with, and who can fart the loudest (because farts inevitably end up in every argument). Someone spills the dye and now the dog and your kids are all covered in green.

4. The egg hunt. At this point your children will have already been up since the butt-crack of dawn to tell you that it is, in fact, EASTER! It’s still dark outside, but they want to go look for their eggs NOW, and there is no convincing them otherwise. Once there is a sliver of light outside, they are ready for the hunt. Whatever child finds an egg first is highly praised, but whichever child finds the last egg, will most definitely result in a tantrum from the other child. And someone will always step in dog poop. Guaranteed.

5. The baskets. Once upon a time, Easter baskets were pretty simple. A paper woven basket was sufficient in holding all your goodies. Usually it included things like, plastic eggs with candy, bubbles, coloring books, crayons, a water gun and maybe some lip smackers. These days, an Easter basket alone can run you upwards of $49.99 to get a personalized one from a fancy schmancy website. Not to mention you are now expected to fill it with things like, DVD’s, Xbox Games, Shopkins, Paw Patrol and the likes. I mean, one or two small toys are fine with me. But seriously people, it’s not Christmas! No matter what you put in their baskets, they will play with it for about 13 minutes and forget about it anyway.

Despite all of these things, I still enjoy Easter with my family. It wouldn’t be the same without the chaos and craziness that comes along with every family holiday. It’s these un-expected moments and the smiles on my kids’ faces that make everything worthwhile.

Cheers to a great Easter! May you have no dye on your walls, no hidden hard-boiled eggs under your couch, and a glass full of wine!