Kids Motherhood

Why bedsharing works for us, even though it horrifies you.

Written by Jennifer Smith

Bed sharing is not for every family. I didn’t even know it was right for our family until baby was here. But it felt so natural to have her right next to me every single night. We will continue to bed share with Anastasia until SHE is ready to leave. We firmly believe that it isn’t fair to suddenly separate a baby from mommy in order to sleep alone because it’s ‘normal.’  All that baby has known is sleeping with mommy for 10 months inside, then as soon as they are here- BAM! You go be independent now.  Not in this house, not with any of our children. We are firm bed sharer-ers.

*steps off of soapbox.*  With this being said, don’t feel offended if your little one sleeps in a crib. It isn’t right for everyone.

When people ask the familiar new mom question “don’t you miss sleep?” I still don’t know what to say without sounding like I should have to apologize! We have slept 8 hours (at least!) every single night since day 1! *knock on wood* I owe the amazing sleep to bed sharing. I cannot imagine having to wake up fully and walk to a different room at least 3 or 4 times. I know I am lazy.. but still.


I have answered some of the burning FAQs about bed sharing everyone always asks me:

Do you worry about rolling over? In the beginning, I was still getting the mom thing down. But we figured out a position where the baby would be only next to me (was afraid of husband rolling) and she rested in the crook of my arm. I had a c section so I couldn’t move much.  But a mother just knows her baby is there. The positions changed here & there as she got bigger and some nights she sleeps on my chest still. Now at 8 months old, she is pretty content to sleep between us.

How big is your bed? We have a queen sized bed pushed up against the wall with a toddler rail attached to the outside.

What are some cons of co-sleeping? The sheets are always having to be washed. From breast milk leaking all over them to baby pee soaking through diapers (I honestly just throw down a towel and deal with it in the morning, gross I know, but I love sleep)  & we always wake up to being poked or giggled at in the mornings. It’s cute.. sometimes. Also, I am pretty sure I could be a black belt in Karate by now giving all of my defensive moves I have developed in my sleep. I am constantly batting away tiny knees and elbows.

You sometimes hear scary things about co-sleeping & it’s very controversial – Every time I tell someone about our sleeping arrangements, I always have to remember ‘this isn’t the norm, and this person thinks you a back country freak’ because it’s just what we do here and we’re so used to it. But I have had people tell me straight up I am going to kill my child.. she won’t EVER leave our bed.. I have ruined her.. UGH. Like I said, it doesn’t work with everyone, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. As long as it is done safety!

How do you bed share safely? No loose, heavy blankets. No pillows around baby. No drinking before bed for us. We usually dress baby in a light onesie and have a fan going just to keep everyone cool (all pushed up against each is hot!)

What’s your typical bedtime routine? Around 10 pm or so, we all go and cuddle in bed together. Anastasia likes to climb on us and sometimes we read stories. It’s our favorite family time together. I nurse baby until she falls asleep and if I am tired, I’ll just go to bed with her and my husband stays up for a few hours. Sometimes, I quietly get up and sneak into the living room for a couple more hours.

About the author

Jennifer Smith

Jennifer used to be a sexy, tattooed ‘barstar’/party girl. Now, she is a proud domesticated quarter of a century blogging housewife, with a definite flair for the dramatic side! She’s a self proclaimed ‘Lactivist’ & pro attachment parent mama to Anastasia!

Check out her blog at http://www.mommywearsheels.com/