Ok, maybe I’m a bad mom. I sure know I don’t do everything perfectly. But I will confess, I don’t treat my kids the same. And here’s why.
I have two kids, a daughter who is 19 and a son who is 16. And they are two completely different people. Now, they are both very kind and loving people. They can both carry on an adult conversation and are insanely intelligent. However they are two very different personalities.
My daughter comes across tough as nails. She’s stubborn and witty. She’s a very hard worker. When she was younger, I would tell her to do three chores, and have to repeat the last two to her.
My son is almost her polar opposite. He is more shy. He’s more tender. He’s not as ambitious as her. But he has a fabulous sense of humor. He has a huge heart. I could give my son three things to do and he would remember them all.
These differences are the reasons that I don’t treat them the same. If my daughter did something as a child that required a form of punishment, because of her strong will it sometimes would require a more stern response. My son on the other hand, could sometimes be moved to tears with just a soft reprimand and his heart would be crushed.
I often get criticized from “a certain someone” for being too easy on my son. And yes, I will be the first to admit that I am older and I probably have softened a bit. I am also wiser. I realize that different people respond differently to the same thing.
I also don’t have the same expectations for each of them. Since my son has a more tender side, I’ve often noticed he will try to brighten my day if he knows I’m having a bad one. My daughter will be more likely to tell me to suck it up. So, if I need comfort I go to my son. If I need a pep talk, I’ll go to my daughter.
I have the same hopes and dreams for them equally. I have raised each of them with the same integrety, morals, and values. I expect both of them to show respect to others, no matter what. I expect them both to be contributing members of society.
In the end, I hope they know one thing for sure. I am not the perfect mother. I may not treat them the same, but I love them equally. I love them fiercely. And to me, that’s the most important thing.