I have a difficult time choosing what to wear each day. It’s why pajama pants and oversized T-shirts are a welcome relief when the sun sets each evening. Maybe you can relate? I have plenty of clothing in my closet, but depending on the day or the event or the hour of that moment, an outfit I once loved can be my worst enemy.
It happened last week. Sunday morning came like it does every seven days and I was left in a panic. The pants I really wanted to wear were still sitting on my floor with a chocolate stain near the knee (hazards from working and eating chocolate at the same time). It was too cold to wear a dress, plus winter weather tends to lessen my haste in the shaving department, so I pulled out an old pair of oversized pants that I rarely wear, but keep in my closet just in case.
This was a just-in-case morning.
I threw the pants on, but was left disappointed when the heels I wanted to wear were too high. It’s frowned upon to wear 3-inch heels in church, or so I’m told.
I took off the 3-inchers and found a modest 1-inch nude pair that I usually wear with my favorite pants now dotted with chocolate. Turns out my favorite heels don’t go well with my just-in-case oversized black pants.
Do you see my dilemma?
When I finally decided my outfit was OK, I grabbed my full-length mirror and propped it on the back of the toilet so I could see my entire ensemble. That’s when my 4-year-old daughter came into the room, looked up at the mirror, then looked at me and said, “Mama, are you trying to see if you look pretty enough?”
It left me speechless.
I talk to both of my girls about the importance of self-confidence. It’s a common theme in our home.
“You need to love yourself,” I’ll say. “You are smart and beautiful and wonderful in every way.”
I make it a point each day to repeat those words. They are now and always will be enough in my mind. But what do my daughters’ sweet innocent eyes see when they look at their Mama? Am I setting a strong example for their self-confidence?
I’m not sure.
There was a time when I struggled with my body image; my weight, teeth and nose; I picked apart pieces of my appearance. When it came time for me to sign my first TV contract that stated I would keep a professional appearance and monthly gym membership, I didn’t hesitate.
“It’s all part of the job,” I thought.
These days I wear very little makeup and you’ve likely seen me in my favorite department store in sweatpants and a T-shirt. I’m confident but I have setbacks. When those moments fizzle their way into my day, I worry my two favorite little girls will see it and feel it, too.
“Are you trying to see if you look pretty enough, Mama?”
The sentence gives me chills.
Today and every day I will remind my girls that they are smart, beautiful and wonderful in every way. I will do my best to make certain they believe those words whether they’re in sweatpants or a fancy dress.
I will tell them they are enough, just the way they are. And then I’ll remind myself, too.