My milk drunk two-month old is burrowed in my arms. Coffee is at my side and a three-year old is still snuggled in bed. 

If someone knocked on my door right now I’d happily open my home so they could ooh and aaah over our precious new addition. I might even pour them a mug of the dark roast and settle down for a good chat. Perhaps even go so far as hand the babe over and jet to the shower. 

But those first few weeks after I delivered our third child- I wanted very few people in our home. 

Unless you were dropping off a casserole at the front door, were in my circle of bestest friends, or were my mom or mother-in-law I wanted you to stay away. Far away.

Gracious, that sounds awfully witchy, doesn’t it?

But hear me out. 

I live in a small-town. After I brought my first child home from the hospital I had unannounced guests popping in and out of my house all hours of the day. A fake smile was constantly splattered on my face. I even had a code word I set up to use so my husband and best friend could politely get uninvited company out of my house. Except when I winked and said that the “hummingbirds had been coming to the birdfeeder” my hubby and bestie forgot the code word and started small-talking about birds to the guests. Gah! 

It was exhausting and unsettling to my natural introverted nature. 

But third time is a charm, right? You live you learn. 

When I brought home my latest child I took a few precautions to avoid the influx of people. 

I sent out a text and posted on social media that I was taking a break from the world to love up on my kids. 

People got the message and this time I was graced with two weeks of recovery sans unannounced company. 

Here are five reasons why I didn’t want visitors post delivery:

1). Selfishness. This fresh newborn stage only lasts a wee bit and I want my arms to be holding this new child of mine. My nose soaking up the scent of baby. My lips giving smooches. A little selfish, but hey… I’m the one with the c-section battle scar.  To the victor go the spoils.

2). I’m bleeding.  Like everywhere. And I mean everywhere. My son told one friend, “We think baby might be a vampire because he’s drinking blood with his milk.”  Yeah…my I bled out of my chest. And that’s not the only place. I didn’t want to be feeling the grossest I’ve ever felt, small-talking about small-talk. 

3). Bra-free. Post delivery I want to lounge in my bed, in my pajamas, without a brassiere, with my newborn perched on my chest. The highly recommended skin-to-skin contact is hard if folks are all around me. Topless hosting is not exactly ideal attire.

4). Nursing.  Newborns eat around the clock. In the first few weeks nursing hurts like a mother. I’d bite my lips every time my little man latched on (yet another bleeding body part). My toes would curl from the pain. Adding a nursing cover to the mix (because I really didn’t want company to see my boobs) just added a whole other unwelcome dynamic. Plus I didn’t really want to cover my child with a blanket. I’d rather be privately sitting in my bed, without a shirt on- feeding/bonding with my child, than sitting on my couch, struggling with the newness of nursing, small-talking.

5). Sleep.  It doesn’t happen at night and it sure as heck won’t happen when company arrives. I just wanted to rest my eyes in peace. Or take a shower. Or veg out and watch a marathon of The Real Housewives

6). Germs. Enough said. 

So yes, I wasn’t exactly the epitome of etiquette when I placed the “Do Not Disturb” sign on my front door, but I did trust my mama bear instinct and kept my little cub right where I thought he belonged this go around- in my arms.

And I’m so happy I did protect my snuggle time. 

I look back at those first few weeks as genuine bliss (granted as blissful as exhaustion and deep pain go) instead of living in absolute mayhem.

But now… feel free to come on over! Just call first. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Sarah Philpott

Sarah Philpott Ph.D lives in the south east on a sprawling cattle farm where she raises her two mischievous children (with one on the way!) and is farm wife to her high school sweetheart. A former teacher, she now spends this season of her life cleaning peanut butter & jelly off the counter, dreaming of traveling the world, hosting “get-togethers” for her family & friends, and chasing her kids around the farm. Sarah is represented by The Blythe Daniel Literary Agency. You can visit with Sarah at her http://allamericanmom.net/ blog where she writes about cultivating a life of down-home simplicity. She also has a passion for helping women cope with pregnancy loss.

Our Kids Need Us as Much as We Need Them

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sitting on bench with dog nearby, color photo

During a moment of sadness last week, my lively and joyful toddler voluntarily sat with me on the couch, holding hands and snuggling for a good hour. This brought comfort and happiness to the situation. At that moment, I realized sometimes our kids need us, sometimes we need them, and sometimes we need each other at the same time. Kids need us. From the moment they enter the world, infants express their needs through tiny (or loud) cries. Toddlers need lots of cuddling as their brains try to comprehend black, white, and all the colors of the expanding world around...

Keep Reading

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More You

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young girl smiling together at home

He reached for my hand and then looked up. His sweet smile and lingering gaze flooded my weary heart with much-needed peace. “Thank you for taking me to the library, Mommy! It’s like we’re on a date! I like it when it’s just the two of us.” We entered the library, hand in hand, and headed toward the LEGO table. As I began gathering books nearby, I was surprised to feel my son’s arms around me. He gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss with an “I love you, Mommy” before returning to his LEGO—three separate times. My typically...

Keep Reading

This Time In the Passenger Seat is Precious

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver with parent in passenger seat

When you’re parenting preteens and teens, it sometimes feels like you are an unpaid Uber driver. It can be a thankless job. During busy seasons, I spend 80 percent of my evenings driving, parking, dropping off, picking up, sitting in traffic, running errands, waiting in drive-thru lines. I say things like buckle your seat belt, turn that music down a little bit, take your trash inside, stop yelling—we are in the car, keep your hands to yourself, don’t make me turn this car around, get your feet off the back of the seat, this car is not a trash can,...

Keep Reading

So God Made My Daughter a Wrestler

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young female wrestler wearing mouth guard and wrestling singlet

God made my girl a wrestler. Gosh, those are words I would never have thought I would say or be so insanely proud to share with you. But I am. I know with 100 percent certainty and overwhelming pride that God made my girl a wrestler. But it’s been a journey. Probably one that started in the spring of 2010 when I was pregnant with my first baby and having the 20-week anatomy ultrasound. I remember hearing the word “girl” and squealing. I was over the moon excited—all I could think about were hair bows and cute outfits. And so...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

You May Be a Big Brother, but You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother with young son, color photo

It seems like yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. Back then, we were new parents, clueless but full of love—a love that words can hardly explain. I can vividly recall holding you in my arms, rocking you in the cutest nursery, and singing sweet lullabies, just like yesterday. I can picture those times when you were teeny-tiny, doing tummy time, and how proud I was of you for lifting your head. And oh, the happiness on your face when “Baby Shark” played over and over—that song always made you smile! We made sure to capture your growth...

Keep Reading

“It Looks and Tastes Like Candy.” Mom Shares Warning about THC Gummies All Parents Need to Hear

In: Kids, Living, Teen
Hand holding bottle of THC gummies

What Aimee Larsen first thought was a stomach bug turned out to be something much more terrifying for her young son. Her 9-year-old woke up one day last week seeming “lethargic, barely able to stand or speak,” his mom shared in a Facebook post. At first, she assumed he had a virus, but something about his behavior just didn’t seem right. She called an ambulance and asked her older sons if their brother might have gotten into something, like cough syrup or another over-the-counter medicine. Their answer? “Yeah, THC gummies.” THC gummies are an edible form of cannabis that contain...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter as You Grow into Yourself

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Girl in hat and dress-up clothes, color photo

My daughter, I watched you stand in front of the mirror, turning your body left and right. Your skirt was too big and your top on backward. Your bright blue eyeshadow reached your eyebrows and bold red blush went up to your ears. You didn’t care. I watched you marvel at your body, feeling completely at ease in your skin. You turned and admired yourself with pride. You don’t see imperfections. You don’t see things you are lacking. You see goodness. You see strength. RELATED: Daughter, When You Look in the Mirror, This is What I Hope You See I’m...

Keep Reading

My Child with Special Needs Made His Own Way in His Own Time

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding child's hand walking across street

I want to tell you the story of a little boy who came to live with me when he was three years old. Some of you may find this story familiar in your own life. Your little boy or girl may have grown inside you and shares your DNA or maybe they came into your life much older than three. This little boy, this special child, my precious gift has special needs. Just five short years ago, he was a bit mean and angry, he said few understandable words, and there was a lot about this world he didn’t understand. Unless...

Keep Reading

Organized Sports Aren’t Everything

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young girl with Alpaca, color photo

Today I watched my little girl walk an alpaca. His name is Captain. Captain is her favorite. He’s my favorite too. I met his owner on Instagram of all places. She thought I was in college; I thought she was a middle-aged woman. Turns out, she is in high school, and I am a middle-aged woman. This random meeting led to a blessing. We call it “llama lessons.” We take llama lessons every other week. It’s an hour away on the cutest hobby farm. Our “teacher” is Flora, who boards her llamas at the alpaca farm. She wants to teach...

Keep Reading