I’m not the type of person who needs a special reason to buy something nice for myself. I recently realized that there are people out there who only buy themselves things occasionally when they feel like they earned it? Me? No. I can convince myself that I deserve something new every day.
I woke up today! New workout leggings are in order!
I admit…I love to shop.
Sometimes I feel like the UPS and FedEx drivers judge me. Luckily, I’m always at work when they deliver my packages so I don’t have to see the looks on their faces when they deliver yet another package to my doorstep.
What appears at my door on a regular basis? Workout clothes, personal development books, non-toxic household cleaning products, supplements, health food, orders from Sephora, Stitch Fix shipments and more.
These are all things that are helping me become my best self…right?
I came home from work recently, and felt a sense of disappointment that my porch was empty. There was no gift for me to unwrap that day. That feeling of disappointment quickly turned into a rush of anxiety…Is my shopping getting out of hand?
Let me be clear, I’m not going into debt buying things for myself and my house isn’t piled high with unused items that I’ve purchased. However, I began to ask myself, ‘Do I really NEED the things that I am buying?’ (My boyfriend also asked me that question a few dozen times.)
The short answer is no. I have drawers full of workout clothes, I have a closet full of clothes for all occasions and I don’t have to have kelp noodles and vegan protein powder to be my healthiest self. So what’s with all the purchasing?
I’m going to be honest, life is quite stressful right now and has been for the past year. I’m working full-time, I just started a health coaching business, I teach fitness classes and I write a blog. Trying to balance all of those things with spending time with my boyfriend, family and friends, making time for myself, preparing meals and keeping a house clean and tidy, feels overwhelming at times. Shopping has been a stress reliever for me. And when I ordered something online, it gave me something to look forward to.
The problem is that after I receive one of those special gifts to myself, life still feels overwhelming. Nothing changes!
So many of us try to gain fulfillment by changing our exterior. Buying a fancy car, going on an extravagant vacation, using expensive face creams or having a powerful sounding job title are all ways we try to gain self-esteem. For me, rather than finding ways to make life less overwhelming, I was hoping something new would make me feel better. I was giving gifts to myself to bring on fulfillment because my life felt chaotic, which makes me feel discontent.
So, what if we try to change our interior to bring on fulfillment and a life of content?
I’ve been using affirmation cards recently, and I pulled a card that read, “I am completely fulfilled in this moment.” I began to question all of the things that I felt like I needed in order to be fulfilled. I realized that the items in those packages on my doorstep weren’t going to give me a life of fulfillment, nor would they make me feel content.
So how can we feel fulfilled and content?
- Decide how you want to feel. Do you want to feel free, joyful, peaceful, passionate. Chances are, the words you write down will have nothing to do with acquiring material items or a certain status. Begin to think about how you can begin to feel free, joyful, peaceful, etc.
- Practice gratitude. Each night before you go to bed, write down three things that you are grateful for. You will soon find that your life is full of love and abundance.
- Be creative. When we are inspired, feel passionate and have enthusiasm for something, the desire to want more things lessens.
- Follow your intuition. We often over think, causing us to make decisions based on what others have told us to do and what we think we should do. Taking time to sit in stillness, or meditation, allows us to better connect to our intuition. Once you begin to make decisions based on your intuition, or from the heart, you will be living your life more authentically. Being your authentic self will help you to feel more content.
- Give. You’ve probably heard that giving feels better than receiving. Well, it does! Whether you’re giving a few bucks to a homeless person, helping an elderly person carry their groceries to their car or volunteering your time to a local organization, being of service brings more fulfillment than a new pair of jeans ever could.
- Forgive yourself. We tend to hold on to a lot of resentment about decisions we’ve made in the past. Why? Beating yourself up about the past only continues to harm you. When we have shame, resentment and guilt, we may try to fix our exterior selves rather than releasing those feelings. Remember this: You are not your past. You are who you are in this moment.
The deliveries to my house are becoming less frequent. I’m hoping the package delivery drivers forget my name…at least until the holidays.
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