It is that time of year again. When the summer stuff gets clearanced out and school supplies line the shelves in their place. It is also the time of year I find myself making a lot of self promises. A kind of resolution, new school year’s resolutions.

I promise to take better advantage of the time when my older two children are at school.
I promise to not binge watch Netflix during nap time more than once a week.
I promise to take the 2-year-old and the dog on more walks during the day (unless it is really really hot or cold).
I promise to make my kids do their homework right after school every single day.
I promise to do a fun relaxing activity or take my kids somewhere fun every Wednesday when they get out early.
I promise to write and/or do the projects I put off during the 2-year-old’s nap time.
I promise to only allow myself a nap with my 2-year-old once, maybe twice a week.
I promise to get us all on a better school schedule and stick to it.
I promise to plan out meals every weekend for the week.
I promise to get school lunches ready the night before.
And so on and so on…

I have an upcoming 4th and 1st grader and I have been making myself these sort of promises since my 4th grader went off to Kindergarten. I rock those promises to myself the first week. Sometimes even the 2nd week. By the 3rd I am definitely breaking my nap time promises. Often napping and/or binge watching Netflix way more often than I said I would. By the 2nd or 3rd month in, I start getting lax in right after school homework. Sometime after that all my well intention resolutions start to crumble, and I end up keeping my promises to myself less and less. Which brings on an enormous amount of self guilt. The guilt often translates itself into completely giving up and only once in a while sticking to those promises. This year I am going to add one more resolution to the upcoming school year.

I promise to not allow the guilt to win.

This year I am going to forgive myself when I am just so tired during the week that I nap with the 2-year-old. I am going to forgive myself when life is just too much so I relax with a book, movie, or TV show during nap time. I am going to allow free time right after school for my kids to recharge. The more guilt that sneaks in, the more I feel as though I have failed. I think many of you may feel this way too. Setting up grand resolutions is great, but it is so important to not look as a set back as a failure. If we allow ourselves to feel like we have already failed, it is so easy to give up.

This school year I am going to look into each week as a new starting point. Because life happens. My life is very unpredictable. With a two year old (that is getting closer to three) who fights naps more days than not. With a whole bunch of chronic health and pain issues. With just everyday stuff that can come for all of us. I need to let guilt come, then let it go. Because guilt won’t just magically go away forever. It will always sneak back in there.

If you read along and thought, “Yes this is me every year too!” Then join me in forgiving yourself. We will all take in a deep breath and just forgive ourselves for things we did not do. For things we did not become. We will look on each day as a chance to fulfill the promises we make to ourselves at the beginning of the school year. To our children, to our spouses, to ourselves. 

Kelly Maeser

Kelly is a Nebraska girl who is still trying to figure out what she is going to be when she grows up as she makes up stories and writes poetry. In addition to writing for Her View From Home. She had a poem published in Migraine Expressions: A Creative Journey through Life with Migraines, and is currently working on a collection of poetry and a YA novel. Kelly is taking a break from blogging, but you can follow her and her creative musing on Instagram (kellymaeserwriter), Twitter (@KellyMaeser) and Facebook (Kelly Maeser- Writer).