Kids

Dear American Girl Dolls: This Mom Does Not Like You

Dear American Girl Dolls: This Mom Does Not Like You www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Leslie Means

Yes, I said it.  I did.  I can’t stand these dolls.  

Before you send hate mail, let me say, I’m sure the company is full of lovely people with incredible intentions.  Plus, my father told me to never use the word “hate” so I changed my title to “does not like,” but the feelings are strong this year.  And honestly, I know nothing about this company except for the fact that they sell really, really expensive dolls and girls around the United States really, REALLY want them.  

Including mine.  

But, seriously folks.  SERIOUSLY?  180 dollars for a doll.  A doll.  Yes.  180 dollars.  

Let’s go over a few things that cost less than a plastic doll with movable hands.

  1.  My first car.  
  2. The crib we just purchased for our first son.
  3. A decent trip to the store for groceries.
  4. A month of student loan payments.
  5. A water bill and depending on time of year, an electric bill.  
  6. 2-4 pairs of boots.
  7. A fancy dress from one of my favorite dress shops online (for real, though – these guys rock).  
  8. Tickets to see Tim McGraw and Faith Hill (again, just a hint for the fam for what I would like for x-mas).
  9. A manicure AND pedicure and probably a massage too.
  10. Coats, hats and scarves for people in need.  Yep – now I feel like crap too.

I could go on.  And on.  And ON.  But you guys, dolls.  Freaking dolls cost so much money.  How did this happen?

For many years, we got away with the knock off dolls at Target – My Generation.  They are amazing and much cheaper.  Like, 150 bucks cheaper.  And my girls loved them as much as little girls can.

But they are 8 and 6 now, and apparently I’ve let them watch YouTube videos where kids play with these American Girl Dolls online (and make money from views and clicks and ads because of the parents who allow their kids to watch them – and yes, I know that’s me).  And since their neighbors have these freaking dolls, they want some too.

Insert screaming mother.

We are still in that lovely Santa filled era where my babies think everything is magical and lovely and Christmas morning is filled with gifts and goodness everywhere.  

And it is.  But maybe Christmas, does not come from the store – maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.   

AM I RIGHT?

So why is it/was it so hard for me to tell my babies that these dolls are too expensive for mom and dad OR Santa to buy?  

Because I’m a sucker and I’m raising spoiled kids?  Maybe a little.  But mostly because, I’m filled with anxiety that my children have to get these stupid dolls so their childhood is as happy and lovely as can be.

I know, Mom.  I know.  I also know that’s bull crap.  

Here’s the deal.  My sister(s) say I’m cheap.  I know this.  But even if I had all the money in the world and didn’t still owe a ridiculous amount of money on my student loan payments, I wouldn’t want to spend $180 bucks on a doll.

People, it’s a doll.  Like – not a dog or a breathing infant.  A doll.  

Here’s what happened.  I told the girls that if they ask Santa for this doll, they probably won’t get many other things. Like, this doll is the same as a little girl who gets a bike and new shoes and maybe a bed for Christmas.  The oldest seemed OK with just the doll (time will tell).  The youngest basically thought that was the worst idea ever, and spent last night browsing the My Generation Dolls from Target because they “come with more cool stuff anyway, Mom, and this way Santa will bring me even more toys.”

OK – maybe I have to work on her – but we’ll get there.

Basically I brought my Christmas bill of $300 for two freaking dolls, down to $120 for one doll, and I can wrap my brain around that.

Kinda.  

My hope is that the 8-year-old will have more respect for her expensive ass doll and that somehow she’ll get the thing to do cartwheels and bake cookies and we can put it on the internet and make money from the other suckers across the world who sit and watch YouTube videos of dolls doing crap.

I’m kidding.  Sort of.  I’m also cussing – because these dolls piss me off.  Cleary.

Please don’t send hate mail.  I think it’s lovely that on Christmas morning back in 1991, you woke up with a boat load of American Girl Dolls and all was well with the world.  Good for you.  Seriously.  Frankly, I loved my cat slippers, new undies and chocolate covered cherries better than any doll I ever received.

Then again, it was never an American Girl Doll – maybe then I would have changed my mind?

Nope.  Just kidding.  I would have thrown her in my closet, cut her hair and used her as a prop to keep my door open. 

I’m going to get so many bad comments.

Let’s end it on this.  Do I think you suck if you do indeed buy your kids these dolls?  Nope.  Clearly – because I am buying them too.  Does this make me a hypocrite?  Perhaps.  But really, what are we doing here, people?  

180 bucks?  For one doll. Good grief.  

Assimilate! by Terren In Virginia via Attribution Engine. Licensed under CC BY.

About the author

Leslie Means

Leslie is the co-founder and owner of Her View From Home.com. She is also a former news anchor, published children’s book author, weekly columnist, and has several published short stories as well.

She is married to a very patient man. Together they have two pretty fantastic little girls ages 8 and 6 and one little dude born March 2017!

When she’s not sharing too much personal information online and in the newspaper – you’ll find Leslie somewhere in Nebraska hanging out with family and friends. There’s also a 75% chance at any given time, you’ll spot her in the aisles at Target.

2 Comments

  • Those ding-danged dolls. Since I have boys, I faced a totally different shopping landscape. But granddaughters? I just had my head screwed on right, after reading this straight-from-the-gut essay!! It is a ridiculous amount, because then they suck you in: you need the books (OK, that is a positive) and you need the matching outfits and the accessories. It really is a Country Club doll.

  • Oh my goodness. Hilarious! Good for you for taking a stand! Luckily my daughter is only 5 and hasn’t “caught the crazy craze yet”! We tell our kids that Santa runs everything by the parents first–so we get the final say and so do other kids’ parents. That way if other kids get more…good for them! My 8 year old was asking for something that was over $200 and I told him that we would give Santa the thumbs down on that one! No way an 8 year old needs something that costs $200! Santa has a much tighter budget than that in our house! 🙂