Let’s be real, friends. Motherhood is exhausting. The best kind of exhausting… but still. Remember those days in school when you had to literally prop open your eyelids with pencils because you were so tired from staying out too late with friends? 

This is so much worse.
 
Motherhood is such a haze and it can lead us to do crazy things.
 
Like go to work with our shirt on backwards. (Guilty.)
 
Our writing team shared over 28 things they’ve done while exhausted. Because if we can’t laugh together… well, we’ll cry. 
 

Magi Nelson Clark: My baby quit nursing almost a year ago and I can still detect a hint of sour milk smell on my bathrobe. Also when my middle kid was a toddler I kept smelling poo, so I started looking around and found a nice little tootsie roll behind the couch. After I cleaned that up, I still kept catching whiffs so I searched and searched. When I finally found the poo, it was ON MY LEG!

Lauren Cunningham: Multiple times I have walked out in public with both sides of my nursing bra detached and bunched under my boobs and shirt. It’s great when that happens because I totally want everyone to note I have leaky nipples.

Alethea Jo Mshar: I spent a 12 hour shift as a paramedic with spit up down my back and nobody told me.

Kimberly Poovey: I once woke up sitting on the edge of the bed, rocking a pillow, panicking because I couldn’t figure out why the baby was so light! 

Katrina Villegas: I left the house with my bra completely unhooked, never noticed until home! Went out in slippers another time. I’d hate to know what I did and never knew about!

Leah ‘Cooksley’ Peterson: One night when my baby was so fussy I moved from chair to floor to crib to my bed to rock and play. At one point she finally settled and slept. An hour later woke again and was screaming. I was so deliriously tired I couldn’t find her because I couldn’t remember where I had left her last. I was rushing around and my husband calmly got up and picked her up from the crib. I may have snarled at him at that point.

Megan Joy: I forgot to put a coffee cup in my Keurig, and also forgot to put the coffee in – so I was drinking hot water with creamer.

Nikki Pennington: After I had my third son I was on the way to my six week check up. My husband stayed home with the boys and this was pretty much my first time out of the house alone after six weeks. I needed gas so I pull up, go inside, pay and then I got in my car and drove off. I didn’t even get gas. I basically just gave the gas station free money. I realized it when the gas light came on a little ways up the road. Nope, not going back ever. Because sleep deprivation is real.

Kimberly Poovey: I once stole a gallon of milk from Target when my child was sick. Didn’t realize it was under the stroller until the crying child was already strapped into the car. Did I go back in? NOPE.

Hannah Angstadt-Gunning: Went to work with a pacifier in my bra. Apparently I put it there when it fell out of my daughter’s mouth right before I left. I also managed to put diaper rash ointment on my toothbrush one night (exhausted and didn’t bother to turn on a light). I only discovered it wasn’t toothpaste AFTER it was all over my teeth and tongue.

Lisa Leshaw: I poured a pitcher of prune juice rather than milk into our cereal bowls! Everyone was regular for days!

Bailey Suzio: I wished my boss a “Happy New Year”…. it was July 5th.

Nina Leicht-Crist: At the dinner table I asked if we had said Grace. Apparently 3 seconds after everyone said Amen. 

Cassie Lynn Hilt: I have left the house TWICE now with baby poop on my face/neck. 

Megan Launchbaugh: For Mother’s Day this year my six-year-old brought home one of those “all about my mom” sheets they do in school. Under “what does mom always forget to do” she put “comb her hair.” Accurate. 

Kathleen Hiener Gemmell: Super embarrassing, I hadn’t gotten around to emptying the diaper pail, I walked our dog and stepped into poop. When I came in, I couldn’t smell it because of the overflowing pail.

Emily Fisk: I couldn’t find the crying baby (reading this thread, sounds like I’m not alone!) and was frantically searching my bed in the dark, deliriously half-asleep, picking up pillows and blankets. Turns out, hubby had her already and was rocking her in the next room. I also once finished pumping, walked straight to the sink, and DUMPED the whole damn bottle of liquid gold down the drain. Then I just stood there, stunned, trying to figure out how to get the milk back.

Zabrina Lauren: I bought a milk bottle warmer, a bookshelf, and a tv entertainment center from Amazon all while I was sleeping apparently. It wasn’t until the box arrived (3 separate occasions) that I started figuring out a pattern! I was a sleeping shopaholic apparently! Luckily my S.O. started taking my phone away from me as we slept so I couldn’t buy anything else!

Amy Betters-Midtvedt: I found myself blow drying my hair after my shower but had never actually gotten it wet. Forgot to wash it and never noticed. Countless times I wore clothes inside out. Drove myself to church one day instead of work…but that might just have been God trying to give me a break.

Shelley Skuster: We brought our daughter home in the middle of an Iowa heat wave. On a Sunday morning, we turned on the sprinkler in the front yard to keep the grass from turning brown and brittle. The next morning, city personnel were trying to figure out why there was so much water flowing into the storm sewer down the hill from our house. They traced it back to us because OUR SPRINKLER HAD BEEN RUNNING FOR 18 HOURS.

Michelle Koch: I once fell asleep in front of the washer and dryer while sorting clothes, woke up all snuggled up to dirty socks and covered up with a towel.

Kim Fugler Reed: Talking to my sister on the phone and began to panic because I couldn’t find my phone. 

Jordan Harrell: After multiple wake ups one night, my husband woke me up while I slept through the baby’s wails (who happened to be sleeping in the crib at the foot of my bed — not coming through the monitor). He informed me that I had been patting him on the leg in my sleep. I thought that was a good indicator that it was his turn.

Shannon Lenz: I got a whole cart of groceries only to discover I had no wallet. Apparently, the idea that you have to pay for them was new to me!

Marisa Svalstedt: I tried to plug my cellphone into my breast pump. 

Heather Wells Shotkoski: I went grocery shopping and then left the entire load of groceries in the car for hours after getting home. Luckily it wasn’t super hot outside. 

Jennifer Horsley Worrell: I fell asleep on the couch nursing. The doorbell rang, and I greeted my friends with my boob out.

Moriah Steiner: Literally just caught puke from my 6 month old in my hand and wiped it back on his clothes.

What crazy things have you done while sleep deprived? We know the pain, mama! 

Hey tired mom! We think you’ll love this post too: Why Tired Mothers Stay Up So Late

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

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Leslie Means

Leslie is the founder and owner of Her View From Home.com. She is also a former news anchor, published children’s book author, weekly columnist, and has several published short stories as well. She is married to a very patient man. Together they have three fantastic kids.  When she’s not sharing too much personal information online and in the newspaper – you’ll find Leslie somewhere in Nebraska hanging out with family and friends. There’s also a 75% chance at any given time, you’ll spot her in the aisles at Target.

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