Kids Motherhood

It Won’t Always Be Like This

It Won’t Always Be Like This www.herveiwfromhome.com
Written by Liz Parker-Cook

You have a baby and you are immediately overwhelmed. You are overwhelmed by the indecipherable crying, by the lack of sleep, by the extreme neediness. You are overwhelmed by your love for this new tiny human and by the responsibility of keeping said adorable baby alive and well. You feel exhausted, useless and anxious. Everything you do is so hard. It won’t always be like this, others tell you. It will get better.

But everything is so different now. The baby can’t do anything without your help. The cries when they are hungry, when they are wet, when they are gassy, when they are tired and for reasons known only to them. You sing, rock and smile and the baby stares at you. You wonder if they even like you. You miss the days of reliable showers and peeing with the door closed. You wonder if you are any good at this parenting thing. You wonder why you signed up for this. You wonder when you get to have a nap. You are a mess, but you know it won’t always be like this.

And then one day, it isn’t. Suddenly your baby lights up when they see you. They smile and laugh and it is the most beautiful sound you have ever heard. They reach out with their little arms for you and snuggle their little body against yours with complete trust. You know all of their favourite songs, stories and rhymes. You know what their cries mean and when they need a nap, because you know each other now. And you know what? They do like you after all! You are their whole world. And they are your whole world. You wonder how you made something so beautiful. Now, instead of feeling overwhelmed you are starting to cherish this needy and all-consuming love, because you know it won’t always be like this either.

The baby learns to crawl, to roll, to sit and to stand and the world changes again. They fall down, launch themselves off the couch, curious and striving for independence. You put up the baby gates, and baby-proof the house. You are constantly chasing them, as they get into one thing after another. You are constantly on alert. You miss the days where they sat happily in one place.  It won’t always be like this, you think as you pull your phone out of the baby’s mouth or scoop them up before they crawl towards the dog’s food dish.

You start to develop a routine. The days blend together, both never-ending and too short to get everything done. You gain confidence. You gain momentum. You gain some wisdom. You start to make long term plans because you are starting to get this parenting thing under control. For just a minute, you feel that you can do this, but this is usually fleeting. You know, like all the stages so far, that it won’t always be like this, because you know what’s coming next.

Talking, tantrums, siblings and bad dreams are on the horizon. School, new friends, sleepovers and soccer games are coming too. Bullies, last minute projects, broken bones, recitals and report cards will be here before you know it. Teenage angst, first loves, first heartbreaks and first jobs will be next. They will want you to drop them off two blocks away. They will challenge your rules, your trust and your sanity. But it won’t always be like this either. They will grow, mature and become someone amazing.  Some day they will begin to talk of a future where you are no longer needed on a daily basis, and you will have to step back and let them.

Yes, you know what’s coming. The future will be both exquisitely beautiful and heart wrenchingly difficult. The future is out there but today it seems so far away. Today is here now and it is fleeting. So you hold your baby close, you sing and play and tickle. You drink in this beautiful, messy, sweet, baby love because it won’t always be like this. No, it won’t always be like this, but it is today.

About the author

Liz Parker-Cook

Liz Parker-Cook is a proud mom of a 17 month old baby boy and a 4 year old chocolate lab. She lives in Toronto with her wonderful husband Dan, and the aforementioned dependants. She is also a high school music teacher and during nap time she writes her thoughts in her blog http://https://newbiemomsite.com/ for other new moms. In her other life she is a high school music teacher, which is much louder than parenting but has fewer dirty diapers.

22 Comments

    • I only have one but I hear this a lot about the second child. It is nice to hear because so much of the first one is enjoyed in retrospect.

  • I tried to get pregnant my second son for about 6 years. Once I had my baby, it was a whirlwind of emotions. He’s two and we are right in the thick of the terrible twos. Days seem to be filled with tantrums and sloppy kisses.. And some days blend together with the other. But it seems like the days fly by and I want them to slow down!

  • This season is a tough one, but it has its moments of beauty as well. Like any season, it won’t last forever. Thanks for the reminder <3

  • Beautifully written! The ebb and flow of feeling competent and sure of your parenting is totally relatable. Love this.

    • Thank you so much! I certainly go back and forth with the confidence in my parenting – on a daily basis sometimes.

  • So very true. No matter how hard or overwhelming it is, each day us a blessing to be treasured. I was in tears yesterday realising my baby would be turning one soon. Time goes so fast, each day will be different, each age challening in a different way. That’d the beauty of raising kids

  • So very true, good to remember to cherish it while you can. My twins are now so big and independent, they are four soon and it has passed in the blink of an eye 🙁 #momsterslink x

  • Awwww I love this! It is bittersweet watching each milestone and they do go by fast. Each year I think to myself “where did the year go?” I watch the memories in pictures and look forward to every new adventure. Motherhood is surely a gift that should never be taken for granted. Thank you for linking with #momsterslink and I apologize for the delay in commenting as I’m on vacation and trying to fit blogging in when I can. :))