By Clarissa Gabriel 
I love having conversations with my kids and their friends about politics, religion, relationships, mental health, and their general view of the world. We talk, banter, share experiences, laugh and often agree to disagree. I marvel at their path of discovery.
While I thoroughly enjoy hearing their perspectives, I am not naive enough to believe that what they tell me is not somewhat filtered. No matter how open our relationship is, I am still the parent in the room and that will limit what they tell me. I am confident that if I were to be a fly on the wall when they discuss these same topics without my presence, I might hear different things.
My opportunity to hear some of their unfiltered perspectives came in an unexpected way. As my life shifted to the empty nester/college parent phase, I found myself long on time and short on cash, so I picked up a weekend job working as a food server. Unsurprisingly, my new coworkers were significantly younger than I was—mostly college students and twentysomethings.
Essentially, my new coworkers were the same ages as my children.
Initially, my “senior” status on the employee roster felt awkward, but my new coworkers were incredibly gracious with me. I quickly found enjoyment working and conversing with them. While I am old enough to be their mom or teacher, I was neither of these things; neither was I their boss. For this reason, I believe our conversations were, for the most part, genuine and unfiltered. The fact that they were not my children made it easier for me to just listen without feeling the need to jump in and advise. I was also able to ask direct questions without feeling like I was interrogating them or trying to change their minds about something. The most enlightening conversations were the ones they had with each other, when I could just listen as that proverbial fly on the wall.
In the beginning, I was somewhat anxious about what I would hear. After all, the stereotypes about the next generation are overwhelmingly negative and there are plenty of media narratives about how our society will be doomed when they take the reins. With that in mind, here are five things I discovered about them that surprised me in ways I couldn’t possibly have anticipated.
Work
When they talk about career goals, it’s more about the life and experiences they would like to have, and less about a particular job title or position in a company. They are much more focused on what they will be doing and less about what they will be earning. Financial security is important, but affluence and wealth are not that interesting to them.
Relationships
They are unsure about marriage. Many of them have partners with whom they are deeply connected, but being unattached does not scare them. They are unwilling to engage in unhealthy relationships to avoid being alone. While they like kids and frequently talk about any young children in their lives, they are reluctant to have their own, as they have a healthy understanding of what a serious obligation children are. They aren’t feeling pressure to “check the boxes” of marriage and children by a certain age.
Mental Health
I was surprised and encouraged by the openness regarding their own mental health struggles, mistakes, diagnoses, and therapy experiences. That openness allows them to exchange supportive information and seek solutions with each other. Despite some difficult things they experienced, they have no interest in adopting a victim mentality. They bravely address their mental health challenges so that they can live fully.
Politics
I was surprised to find they are not necessarily attached to any particular political party, nor are they single-issue voters. They each have a handful of issues they feel strongly about but are also willing to look at the whole. While they recognize mistakes of the past, they don’t automatically blame other generations or political parties for the current state of the country. They acknowledge the problems in the world and are hopeful about their generation’s ability to solve some of them.
Spirituality/Religion
They are curious about God but they don’t trust churches. Many of them have been hurt by churches, but surprisingly, they do not look at all churches with disgust or contempt. They see churches as broken and ineffective and often as facades for true faith and goodness. As we all know, they are not entirely wrong.
Most importantly, I observed a generation that prioritizes authentic relationships in a way previous generations did not. They somehow know what is real and what is phony and are not easily fooled by empty substitutes for genuine connection and support. They have correctly concluded that loving and supporting each other is the foundation for any positive change in the world.
Getting to know these “kids” has been a beautiful and enlightening journey. They have caused me to realign some of my own outdated conventions and helped dispel my fears about what lies ahead for the society that my kids will inherit. I feel confident they will bring the weary world exactly what it needs.
by Alexis Linehan 
