Transitions. There are some that feel small, almost non-existent, because the change isn’t significant. There may be some cross-over to life as you know it which proves helpful in the change. Like, switching hair stylists or getting a new car. Other transitions feel huge, almost all-consuming, because the change is significant. Like, moving to a new city, taking a different job, getting married, retiring or, for me, becoming a mom. Some transitions are planned for, others take us by surprise. Some happy, others not. Whether planned or unexpected, happy or not, transitions often shake our sense of identity. How true of my transition into motherhood! 

Such a wee little life is wholly and totally dependent on me. For food, for safety, for care, well, for EVERYthing. No one has ever relied on me or trusted me so much. Our schedule rearranges, our plans change and our flexibility becomes inflexible in order to meet our son’s needs. To be all to my son. Weighty.

And, of course, there are different ways to meet these needs, often referred to as “mommy wars.” It’s a cultural and emotional battle zone we land in the minute we become mothers. Cloth diapers vs. disposable. Breast feed vs. bottle feed. Co-sleeping vs. not co-sleeping. Stay-at-home vs. work. So many choices. I find myself in a pool of new pressures. Opposing expectations are placed on me that are impossible to meet. As a new mom, I don’t want to be judged. I will make mistakes. I’ve given myself permission to disagree with myself, later today, tomorrow or in a year from now. My husband and I are learning as we go… This parenting thing is a lot of trial-and-error, figuring out what works best for mom and babe and family. And it’s unlikely that we get it “right” the first time. So grace, please. Mommies, I promise to suspend judgment, give you the benefit of the doubt and learn from you. I hope you do the same.

My new role as mom changes my relationships. My husband and I had friends over for dinner this week. This particular evening, they could only hang out for an hour and a half. Baby was extra hungry so he fed longer than I planned; therefore, I missed greeting our friends and their first 30 minutes with us. Then, as dinner was being served, baby got fussy. I was trying to calm and appease. No success. I had learned about cluster feeding during growth spurts so I went back into the nursery to feed again. Another 30 minutes away from friends. When I returned the table was cleared and I finished my half eaten cold plate of food. By myself. I was embarrassed. And disappointed because my time with our friends was not the quality time I was used to enjoying. Not that I needed to be embarrassed or disappointed, as my visiting friend is a mom to a one year old cutie pie and pregnant with her second. They get it. But we did get some conversation in while playing tractors before they had to go, which I was thankful for. *Things to do:  Get better at multitasking and redefine “quality time.”

Becoming a mom has opened pandora’s emotional box. Oh my word. I knew motherhood would bring with it new emotions, but I had no clue the depths of love I’d feel. I remember sitting on the couch after being home with baby our first week and the emotion was so great I couldn’t suppress the flow. When I open myself up to love,  I open myself up to vulnerability. It was emotion felt beyond the daily, tiring task of caring for a baby. My baby’s whole life flashed before my eyes – the cuts and bruises, the hurt feelings, the disappointments and failures, the heartaches. I want to protect him from it all. To act as a shield or guard. I want to do my very best for him. And yet I felt wildly out of control. And that makes me panic and cry and feel helpless. I know so many moms have gone before me, experiencing child birth and emotions and parenting and years gone by… How do they do it? How do they feel so much and so big and handle themselves? It makes me weak in the knees.

The bright, young Helen Keller once said, “A bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn.”  For me this bend is a transition to motherhood. As overwhelming as it is, I choose to make the turn, to learn, to re-learn, to grow with my baby and family. This transition is a beautiful and exciting one. So much movement, life, hope. And so, regardless of the inflexibility, the pressures, the change in relationships, the emotions… I choose to trust God with a thankful heart and embrace this bend that’s sure to lead to adventure.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Josi Seibert

Josi was born and raised a Nebraska girl. As many Cornhuskers did, she grew up on a farm in a small rural community. Upon graduating from Nebraska Wesleyan University, she exchanged cornfields for skyscrapers as she moved to Chicago to attend Moody Theological Seminary. It was there that she met her beloved husband, Ryan, and grew an interest in cross-cultural relationships as she worked with international students, refugee families, and lived in one of the most diverse communities in the country. She and her husband moved to Ghana, West Africa in September 2013 with a team of friends to start a business. In 2015 they resettled back in Chicago to welcome their first child and are currently working with World Relief, helping resettle refugees and find them employment. You're invited to keep in step with them as they live, work, learn and play: http://www.ryanandjosi.blogspot.com/

Our Kids Need Us as Much as We Need Them

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sitting on bench with dog nearby, color photo

During a moment of sadness last week, my lively and joyful toddler voluntarily sat with me on the couch, holding hands and snuggling for a good hour. This brought comfort and happiness to the situation. At that moment, I realized sometimes our kids need us, sometimes we need them, and sometimes we need each other at the same time. Kids need us. From the moment they enter the world, infants express their needs through tiny (or loud) cries. Toddlers need lots of cuddling as their brains try to comprehend black, white, and all the colors of the expanding world around...

Keep Reading

Your Kids Don’t Need More Things, They Need More You

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Mother and young girl smiling together at home

He reached for my hand and then looked up. His sweet smile and lingering gaze flooded my weary heart with much-needed peace. “Thank you for taking me to the library, Mommy! It’s like we’re on a date! I like it when it’s just the two of us.” We entered the library, hand in hand, and headed toward the LEGO table. As I began gathering books nearby, I was surprised to feel my son’s arms around me. He gave me a quick squeeze and a kiss with an “I love you, Mommy” before returning to his LEGO—three separate times. My typically...

Keep Reading

This Time In the Passenger Seat is Precious

In: Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Teen driver with parent in passenger seat

When you’re parenting preteens and teens, it sometimes feels like you are an unpaid Uber driver. It can be a thankless job. During busy seasons, I spend 80 percent of my evenings driving, parking, dropping off, picking up, sitting in traffic, running errands, waiting in drive-thru lines. I say things like buckle your seat belt, turn that music down a little bit, take your trash inside, stop yelling—we are in the car, keep your hands to yourself, don’t make me turn this car around, get your feet off the back of the seat, this car is not a trash can,...

Keep Reading

So God Made My Daughter a Wrestler

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young female wrestler wearing mouth guard and wrestling singlet

God made my girl a wrestler. Gosh, those are words I would never have thought I would say or be so insanely proud to share with you. But I am. I know with 100 percent certainty and overwhelming pride that God made my girl a wrestler. But it’s been a journey. Probably one that started in the spring of 2010 when I was pregnant with my first baby and having the 20-week anatomy ultrasound. I remember hearing the word “girl” and squealing. I was over the moon excited—all I could think about were hair bows and cute outfits. And so...

Keep Reading

A Big Family Can Mean Big Feelings

In: Faith, Kids, Motherhood
Family with many kids holding hands on beach

I’m a mother of six. Some are biological, and some are adopted. I homeschool most of them. I’m a “trauma momma” with my own mental health struggles. My husband and I together are raising children who have their own mental illnesses and special needs. Not all of them, but many of them. I battle thoughts of anxiety and OCD daily. I exercise, eat decently, take meds and supplements, yet I still have to go to battle. The new year has started slow and steady. Our younger kids who are going to public school are doing great in their classes and...

Keep Reading

You May Be a Big Brother, but You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother with young son, color photo

It seems like yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. Back then, we were new parents, clueless but full of love—a love that words can hardly explain. I can vividly recall holding you in my arms, rocking you in the cutest nursery, and singing sweet lullabies, just like yesterday. I can picture those times when you were teeny-tiny, doing tummy time, and how proud I was of you for lifting your head. And oh, the happiness on your face when “Baby Shark” played over and over—that song always made you smile! We made sure to capture your growth...

Keep Reading

“It Looks and Tastes Like Candy.” Mom Shares Warning about THC Gummies All Parents Need to Hear

In: Kids, Living, Teen
Hand holding bottle of THC gummies

What Aimee Larsen first thought was a stomach bug turned out to be something much more terrifying for her young son. Her 9-year-old woke up one day last week seeming “lethargic, barely able to stand or speak,” his mom shared in a Facebook post. At first, she assumed he had a virus, but something about his behavior just didn’t seem right. She called an ambulance and asked her older sons if their brother might have gotten into something, like cough syrup or another over-the-counter medicine. Their answer? “Yeah, THC gummies.” THC gummies are an edible form of cannabis that contain...

Keep Reading

My Child with Special Needs Made His Own Way in His Own Time

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother holding child's hand walking across street

I want to tell you the story of a little boy who came to live with me when he was three years old. Some of you may find this story familiar in your own life. Your little boy or girl may have grown inside you and shares your DNA or maybe they came into your life much older than three. This little boy, this special child, my precious gift has special needs. Just five short years ago, he was a bit mean and angry, he said few understandable words, and there was a lot about this world he didn’t understand. Unless...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter as You Grow into Yourself

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Girl in hat and dress-up clothes, color photo

My daughter, I watched you stand in front of the mirror, turning your body left and right. Your skirt was too big and your top on backward. Your bright blue eyeshadow reached your eyebrows and bold red blush went up to your ears. You didn’t care. I watched you marvel at your body, feeling completely at ease in your skin. You turned and admired yourself with pride. You don’t see imperfections. You don’t see things you are lacking. You see goodness. You see strength. RELATED: Daughter, When You Look in the Mirror, This is What I Hope You See I’m...

Keep Reading

Organized Sports Aren’t Everything

In: Kids, Motherhood
Young girl with Alpaca, color photo

Today I watched my little girl walk an alpaca. His name is Captain. Captain is her favorite. He’s my favorite too. I met his owner on Instagram of all places. She thought I was in college; I thought she was a middle-aged woman. Turns out, she is in high school, and I am a middle-aged woman. This random meeting led to a blessing. We call it “llama lessons.” We take llama lessons every other week. It’s an hour away on the cutest hobby farm. Our “teacher” is Flora, who boards her llamas at the alpaca farm. She wants to teach...

Keep Reading