Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

Transitions. There are some that feel small, almost non-existent, because the change isn’t significant. There may be some cross-over to life as you know it which proves helpful in the change. Like, switching hair stylists or getting a new car. Other transitions feel huge, almost all-consuming, because the change is significant. Like, moving to a new city, taking a different job, getting married, retiring or, for me, becoming a mom. Some transitions are planned for, others take us by surprise. Some happy, others not. Whether planned or unexpected, happy or not, transitions often shake our sense of identity. How true of my transition into motherhood! 

Such a wee little life is wholly and totally dependent on me. For food, for safety, for care, well, for EVERYthing. No one has ever relied on me or trusted me so much. Our schedule rearranges, our plans change and our flexibility becomes inflexible in order to meet our son’s needs. To be all to my son. Weighty.

And, of course, there are different ways to meet these needs, often referred to as “mommy wars.” It’s a cultural and emotional battle zone we land in the minute we become mothers. Cloth diapers vs. disposable. Breast feed vs. bottle feed. Co-sleeping vs. not co-sleeping. Stay-at-home vs. work. So many choices. I find myself in a pool of new pressures. Opposing expectations are placed on me that are impossible to meet. As a new mom, I don’t want to be judged. I will make mistakes. I’ve given myself permission to disagree with myself, later today, tomorrow or in a year from now. My husband and I are learning as we go… This parenting thing is a lot of trial-and-error, figuring out what works best for mom and babe and family. And it’s unlikely that we get it “right” the first time. So grace, please. Mommies, I promise to suspend judgment, give you the benefit of the doubt and learn from you. I hope you do the same.

My new role as mom changes my relationships. My husband and I had friends over for dinner this week. This particular evening, they could only hang out for an hour and a half. Baby was extra hungry so he fed longer than I planned; therefore, I missed greeting our friends and their first 30 minutes with us. Then, as dinner was being served, baby got fussy. I was trying to calm and appease. No success. I had learned about cluster feeding during growth spurts so I went back into the nursery to feed again. Another 30 minutes away from friends. When I returned the table was cleared and I finished my half eaten cold plate of food. By myself. I was embarrassed. And disappointed because my time with our friends was not the quality time I was used to enjoying. Not that I needed to be embarrassed or disappointed, as my visiting friend is a mom to a one year old cutie pie and pregnant with her second. They get it. But we did get some conversation in while playing tractors before they had to go, which I was thankful for. *Things to do:  Get better at multitasking and redefine “quality time.”

Becoming a mom has opened pandora’s emotional box. Oh my word. I knew motherhood would bring with it new emotions, but I had no clue the depths of love I’d feel. I remember sitting on the couch after being home with baby our first week and the emotion was so great I couldn’t suppress the flow. When I open myself up to love,  I open myself up to vulnerability. It was emotion felt beyond the daily, tiring task of caring for a baby. My baby’s whole life flashed before my eyes – the cuts and bruises, the hurt feelings, the disappointments and failures, the heartaches. I want to protect him from it all. To act as a shield or guard. I want to do my very best for him. And yet I felt wildly out of control. And that makes me panic and cry and feel helpless. I know so many moms have gone before me, experiencing child birth and emotions and parenting and years gone by… How do they do it? How do they feel so much and so big and handle themselves? It makes me weak in the knees.

The bright, young Helen Keller once said, “A bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn.”  For me this bend is a transition to motherhood. As overwhelming as it is, I choose to make the turn, to learn, to re-learn, to grow with my baby and family. This transition is a beautiful and exciting one. So much movement, life, hope. And so, regardless of the inflexibility, the pressures, the change in relationships, the emotions… I choose to trust God with a thankful heart and embrace this bend that’s sure to lead to adventure.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Josi Seibert

Josi was born and raised a Nebraska girl. As many Cornhuskers did, she grew up on a farm in a small rural community. Upon graduating from Nebraska Wesleyan University, she exchanged cornfields for skyscrapers as she moved to Chicago to attend Moody Theological Seminary. It was there that she met her beloved husband, Ryan, and grew an interest in cross-cultural relationships as she worked with international students, refugee families, and lived in one of the most diverse communities in the country. She and her husband moved to Ghana, West Africa in September 2013 with a team of friends to start a business. In 2015 they resettled back in Chicago to welcome their first child and are currently working with World Relief, helping resettle refugees and find them employment. You're invited to keep in step with them as they live, work, learn and play: http://www.ryanandjosi.blogspot.com/

Brothers Fight Hard and Love Harder

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two boys play outside, one lifting the other on his back

The last few years have been a whirlwind. My head has sometimes been left spinning; we have moved continents with three boys, three and under at the time. Set up home and remained sufficiently organized despite the complete chaos to ensure everyone was where they were meant to be on most days. Living in a primarily hockey town, the winters are filled with coffee catch-ups at the arena, so it was no surprise when my youngest declared his intention to play hockey like his school friends. Fully aware that he had never held a hockey stick or slapped a puck,...

Keep Reading

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

When Your Kids Ask, “Where Is God?”

In: Faith, Kids
Child looking at sunset

How do I know if the voice I’m hearing is God’s voice? When I was in high school, I found myself asking this question. My dad was a pastor, and I was feeling called to ministry. I didn’t know if I was just hearing my dad’s wish or the call of God. I was worried I was confusing the two. It turns out, I did know. I knew because I was raised to recognize the presence of God all around me. Once I knew what God’s presence felt like, I also knew what God’s voice sounded like. There is a...

Keep Reading

Go Easy On the Parents Who Refuse to Skip Naps

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two little boys and their sister walking down a gravel road, color photo

Greetings from a mom who is done with napping children. It’s great to have the flexibility during the day for longer activities, meeting friends for playdates, or day trips to faraway places. It’s a new life . . . the life without naps. The freedom to make plans and keep them. But not that long ago, I was something very different than the flexible, plan-keeping, up-for-it woman I am today. I used to be the mom who refused to skip my child’s nap. Yep, that one. Here’s the thing, for a lot of parents, It’s so much more than just a...

Keep Reading

My Heart Isn’t Ready for You to Stop Believing in Santa

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy standing in front of lit christmas tree

“My friend doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, Mom,” my son said out of the blue the other day. We were driving in the car, and when I met his gaze in the rear-view mirror his eyes searched mine. Immediately, my heart sank.  This sweet boy, he’s our first. Thoughtful and smart and eight years old. A quick Google search tells me that’s the average age kids stop believing in Santa, but as his mom, I’m not ready for that—not even a little bit.  I can still hear his barely 2-year-old voice going on about reindeer as we lay together on...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is My Wish for You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother hugs three kids

To my kids, The world you’re stepping into is unlike anything I experienced at your age. It’s fast-paced, interconnected, and sometimes overwhelming. But within this chaos lie countless opportunities for growth and joy. My wish for you is that you find the perfect balance between embracing the modern world and staying true to yourselves. Change is one thing you can always count on. Embrace it because it’s often the motivation for growth. Embracing change doesn’t mean letting go of who you are; rather, it’s about evolving into the best version of yourself. Remember, you don’t need to have all the...

Keep Reading

Motherhood is a Million Little Letting Gos and Fresh Hellos

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother sitting with child on her lap by the setting sun and water

I missed my grocery-shopping buddy the other day. Mondays are usually the days my littlest and I knock out our grocery list. In the past, we’ve dropped the kids at school and then headed to the store. I grab a latte, and she chooses a hot chocolate. But that day, they were all in school. That day, she sat in her kindergarten class, and I went to the grocery store. Alone. A new rhythm. A changed routine. A different season. I listened to a podcast on the drive. My podcast. Then I grabbed a drink. Just one. I got the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Stay Wild

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter on beach, color photo

I can’t really put my finger on it. Or manage to find all the words. But there’s just something about that girl. Maybe it’s the way her hair sits tangled. Curled up at the end. The way she moves. Dances. As if everyone was watching. Or no one at all. RELATED: There is Wild Beauty in This Spirited Child of Mine It could be the way she smiles. With her heart. The way only she can. The way she cares, loves. For everyone. For herself. You see, she is beautiful in the way only wild things are. The way they...

Keep Reading

You’re Becoming a Big Sister, But You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Pregnant woman with young daughter, color photo

The anticipation of welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting and joyous time for our family. From the moment we found out we were expecting to just about every day since, the love and excitement only continue to grow. However, amidst all the preparations for the new addition, I cannot help but have mixed emotions as I look back at old videos and pictures of my firstborn, my first princess, my Phoebe—for she will always hold a special place in my heart. As the anticipation grows, my heart swells with a mix of emotions knowing we are...

Keep Reading

Cowgirls Don’t Cry Unless the Horse They Loved Is Gone

In: Grief, Kids, Loss
Little girls Toy Story Jessie costume, color photo

The knee of my pants is wet and dirty. My yellow ring lays by the sink—it’s been my favorite ring for months. I bought it to match Bigfoot’s halter and the sunflowers by his pasture. Bigfoot is my daughter’s pony, and I loved him the most. The afternoon is so sunny. His hooves make the same calming rhythm I’ve come to love as I walk him out back. A strong wind blows through the barn. A stall labeled “Bigfoot,” adorned with a sunflower, hangs open and I feel sick. I kneel down by his side as he munches the grass....

Keep Reading