When I was pregnant with my second baby, I remember wondering how on earth I was going to love her one as much as I loved my son. I thought there was no possible way; I love my son so much I didn’t think it was possible to love a second child one the same amount. I was nervous I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my oldest anymore and nervous that he would feel unloved, so I tried to spend as much time with my son while I was pregnant.
When delivery day finally came, I still felt a little sad for what I was leaving behind–my tiny family of three, all of my attention focused on my son. What would I do if both kids were crying at the same time? What what I do if my son wanted me to play but I was feeding the baby? Was I going to be a good enough mother to both of them?
But now, weeks later, I can hardly remember what life was like before my daughter was in it. Do I feel bad that I can’t focus all of my energy into my son anymore? Of course; but seeing him become a big brother fills my heart with so much love and joy. Knowing that they will grow up as best friends makes everything worth it.
Having one child is great, but having multiple kids is such a blessing. Each child will give you something different. My daughter loves to snuggle and my son brings so much laughter to my days. Your love for each of them will be different, but neither will be less than the other.
There are days when it seems like one of them is always crying. There are days when I wonder if I’m spending enough time with each of them, or if I’m splitting my time equally. They are also days when I feel so inadequate, as if I can’t do anything right.
But then a moment happens, a small moment that completely turns the day around. Sometimes, it’s my daughter looking at me and smiling as I feed her. Other times, it’s my son running to me as soon as he notices I am in the room. I remember something I seem to always forget in the midst of all the chaos: God made ME their mother. He knew I could handle it and He knew exactly what He was doing. He thought that out of everyone, I was best to care for both of these children–and what an honor that is.